emergency 911.

today i texted sean because i had a huge emergency. someone at work came downstairs and told me that chuck had a flat tire. ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME? no. he was not. sean was at school in a very important math class. so of course i texted him immediately. i almost texted him 911 but i thought he might get more worried than he should be.

chloe: sean. my tire is flat. a lot. kinda. should i risk driving it?

sean calls me right away because he is way too good for me.

sean: "chloe, is everything okay? are you on the road? where are you?"

chloe: "no. i'm just at work in the basement."

sean: "okay, well is your tire completely flat? how flat is it?"

chloe: "i don't know. i already told you. it is flat. a lot. kinda."

sean: "have you even looked at it yet?"

chloe: "what do you mean by look? if you mean have i actually seen it with my own eyes? then no. but if you mean that someone told me it was flat? then yes, yes i did look.

sean : "well, you probably need to fill it with air."

chloe: "um. what."

sean: "you need to fill it up with air."

chloe: "um, i think i'm just going to drive it. i'm sure i'll be fine."

sean: "chloe, how flat is it?"

chloe: "sean. i told you already. it is flat a lot kinda. i feel like saying a lot is too much. so i added kinda because it kinda means it is a little less than a lot. ya know?"

sean: "oh gol. what have i gotten myself into."

chloe: "k, well i think i'm just gonna risk it. it's not blown up yet or anything."

sean: "just drive to the gas station, fill it with air."

chloe: "um. remember how the other day we saw that they charge $.50 to use the air hose? that is asinine." (my dad always says that word and i feel so smart using it)

sean: "just do it chloe. it is $.50."

chloe: "see..this is EVERYTHING that is wrong with America. now i have to start paying for something that i can create on my own. screw that. this is ridiculous. i will not surrender to this stupid economic inflation bologna. i will not. the world is falling apart because people are to scared too do anything about it and they just fall into these stupid money traps. if i pay $.50 for air then you might as well charge me for doing my laundry or something and that would be very expensive because you do it a lot. so no. i will not fill up my tire with air that costs money. because last i checked air just freaking existed. that is pure robbery."

sean: "chloe. do you need $.50?"

chloe: "yes. yes i do. i only have a dollar and i don't wanna make change. and i don't want to pay for air because it is ridiculous."

sean: "chloe, i have to go. my class is starting."

chloe: "k bye. if i don't see you later it is probably because my tire blew up and i got stranded and then kidnapped or because when i try to make change at the gas station and i get robbed and then held hostage, it is because of this stupid tire. just so you know. i have a bad feeling about this.  oh and i have decided that i know what i wanna be when i grow up. i wanna sell air to people. because it's like a 100% profit! love ya. bye."

okay, some of this may not have been exactly what sean said but i know that he meant it. thank goodness for maddie and lee. maddie gave me the money and lee followed me to the gas station. turns out? i have a tire gauge in my car. had no idea. never used it. lee helped me fill the tire with air. everything turned out okay. i feel like such a grown up now. i took care of my own problem! all by myself! if you don't count lee pretty much doing all of it and maddie paying for it and sean who tried to help over the phone. it's been a monumental day.

anyway, i came home and did dishes. this is what happens.

then i made sean dinner and he isn't even home yet.

then i wanted to watch Elf but sean's x box was hooked up

and i couldn't get the dvd player to work because i mostly

just didn't want to get up off of the couch.

so i almost texted him 911 but then didn't want him to think i was

crazy or helpless or anything like that.

*edited to add: sean got home and we got in a little tizzy about the whole car thing and i told him "when we got engaged i told you that i would marry you if you took care of my car." he adds, "so you married your mechanic?" and i said "no, he was already taken." then he said everything would be okay if he could play golf on x box but i was watching Elf. then i was the bigger person and said that he could play golf because i have seen Elf 2600 times. he said "oh, really? 2600 times?" then he stole my calculator that is really just an itouch and tried to be all smart but mostly just came off annoying and show-offy and said "that would have taken you 163.375 days to watch that." then he just added that it was really "162.375" and i was like whatever you are lame. then he said it would take me 5 months. then i was like well you were supposed to make my car perfect and he said "well maybe i should start charging you to fix it" and i was like " maybe i should start charging you for........ me being awesome" then the conversation was over.

the cars and the trees.

so, it has been a pretty busy weekend. Sean and i went and saw The Blind Side on friday night.
we both LOVED it. really, it was such a good movie. i had no idea that it was based off of a true story until the end. i mean i kind of figured, but i thought maybe it was based off of some true events.
i had no clue it was all true. i felt really stupid after searching for this picture and
 seeing those words on every single picture practically. anyway, it was really good.

i have not seen Sean enjoy a movie like that in a long time.

i also saw New Moon this weekend like almost the rest of the world. and yes i did eat at In-N-Out. i still think EZ Take Out was better. anyway, back to New Moon.  i liked it a lot better than Twilight. i still wasn't "in love" with it or anything. i felt like the books were a lot better.

i have to say that my favorite part was Jacob. i have never been a fan of Edward. ever. he is too serious and pasty white just on his face and he has way too much make-up on and i don't believe that his lips are really that red without lipstick, even for being a vampire. and when he took his shirt off i was like "oh, maybe put that back on?" i know that a lot of people are team Edward and i still hope you like me and i still like you and don't judge because i really don't care that much about these books or movies.

i have always been a Jake fan. i mean "Team Jacob" to be politically correct or whatever.  i know he is only 17 but i don't care. i would totally go to jail for Taylor Lautner. and if your worried about Sean? don't be. he said he would choose Jacob over Edward any day. i am glad we have the same taste in men. it makes things so much easier and less complicated.

 i came home and googled "taylor lautner shirt off"

don't worry, i wasn't the only one who had googled this. it was in the top

searches. i showed Sean pics of both men shirtless. i told Sean that

if he ever leaves me? Taylor is my back-up. i will have to wait til he is legal though.

and he might want to wait a while to have babies..

and at that point my eggs might be kind of old. oh well.

well, i am sure a lot of you are wondering what went "down" at my house this weekend. i have so many cool pictures of it, and wish that i could show them, but was told we would be sued if these pictures went up before this stuff got aired on tv. so i will try to explain as best as i can. which makes me kind of sad because i probably got a lot of people's hopes up with this "exciting news".

anyway, we have a HUGE tree in our backyard. HUGE enough that i have to capslock the word HUGE. anyway, my dad has been planning to get it cut down for a while now. it is so big, and the roots are starting to affect the foundation. also, there is a new home development going in behind our house and if we are ever going to chop the tree down? now would be the best time, right?

well the way it ended up going down, wasn't exactly the way my parents had envisioned it. they thought, "let's pay $1500 to get the tree taken down. they will clean it up." end of story..

well thursday night, my dad got a call from the guy who was supposed to chop the tree down. he had gotten a call from MTV and they were looking for a HUGE 100ft  tree that they could use for a new show they are filming called "Megadrive". i don't know how much details i am allowed to give or anything, but basically in every episode of this show, they want to completely destroy a smart car. you know, those little cars? so anyway, they wanted to put a smart car in our tree and chop the tree down. it was quite an event on our neighborhood. they dropped the porta-potty off at 9 am. they had an ambulance on stand-by. we waited around all day, watching them tear our fence down, and get everything ready. they had a HUGE crane come and we had several people stop by wondering why we were had a car put in our tree. it was pretty funny.

anyway, someday when i am allowed to post the pictures, i will. we have it all on video too. it was quite a way for a tree to go down. although, i still don't think that justifies destroying a $14,000 car for every single episode. but what do i know? it was worth it for us! here is one picture that i think should be okay to post. this is sean and i in our backyard, before the tree went down.  look for my parents house on MTV someday!

i promise someday i will post more pictures.

they said if they saw any up they would sue me.

not like i have a lot to lose, but whatever.

they can have my POS car Chuck if they want.

oh also? i got to meet "baby dwight's" dad Pete. it was awesome!
i got to meet her too. she is so cute!

i hope everyone had a good weekend!

{sorry if this news wasn't as "BIG" as i made it seem. it was fun though :) }

edited to add:
so the premise of this show isn't just to smash a smart car! i felt like i needed to add that it is kind of like the show Nitro Circus. it is by the same producers. basically, this comedian Johnny Pemberton can't pass his driving test so in every episode he is put in monster trucks, tanks, or submarines and does crazy stuff.
we don't know much about it because it hasn't aired yet. but anyway, they just destroy a smart car in every episode because he hates the little ones and likes the big stuff. that's what she said.

BIG NEWS

i don't know how much information i can give out
about a certain event happening this weekend.

but something really AWESOME is going down at my house.

i had a post up about it. but took it down because maddie
said i had ...

"prematurely blogulated"

more to come on that later....
{no pun intended. or is it? }


tonight? sean and i are going on a date...
first? out to dinner.
sean hasn't told me where we are going yet...
then...
we are going to see a new movie that came out this weekend...
that sean has been dying to see.
no no,
 it's not new moon.

we are seeing the blindside! it should be fun. 
i hope you all have a great weekend!

go big or go home.

this post might be TMI. but which one of my posts isn't? if you don't like talking or hearing about womanly stuff...don't read this post.
dad? click away from this screen. NOW.

i hate being a girl. i hate it. you can say that i complain too much, or whatever you want. but i hate that once a month i have to be completely incapacitated because i am stuck on my couch with a heating pad. that if i even move one inch, the pain comes back for some reason.

 is it okay to take 16 ibuprofen in one day? i swear i pop those things like candy. and that is bad. because i eat A LOT of candy. i hate that i feel like someone is just squeezing my ovaries as hard as they can. that my insides are just falling out of me. i know. graphic. but it is true isn't it? WTF. who came up with this crap? and how come not every girl has to have cramps? were the ones that get them naughty up in heaven or something? what kind of punishment is this?

i woke up at 4 am dying of pain. if i don't stay on top of the pain.. i usually end up having cramps really bad for like 3 days. i have to catch it right away or it's too late. i ran to the cupboard and we only had like 8 pills left in our 500 count bottle. i bought the bottle like 3 months ago. it kind of concerns me.  anyway not enough to really do anything about it. and i refuse to take pamprin since i almost overdosed on it a few months back. and scared sean to death. anyway, i used up all the ibuprofen today.

so anyway, i got home from work.. and sean made me stay on the couch. he left to the store...

he brought back:

ibuprofen.

tampons.

 "i got you the super plus pearl, i wasn't sure if you wanted the super, or super plus. i feel like when it comes to those cork things..you go big, or go home. right?"

he really said that.

chips.

salsa.

twinkies,

ho-hos's.

then he made us nacho's for dinner. and now i am sitting on the couch. and he is doing homework.

as much as i hate being a girl? i love having sean around. he takes pretty good care of me. he had no shame in buying me tampons. he even bought me the heating pad i am currently using.

today he said, "chloe, it's not the first time i have bought tampons."

i was like, "wait, should i be concerned?"

anyway, he calls them cork things. haha. he is so right.

i used to hate talking about things like this. me and maddie never did, and we were always scared to talk to my mom about it. i don't know why.

the maturation program at school? scared the crap out of me. i remember being in 5th grade and being like,

"wait, you are telling me that blood is just going to come out

of my body and it is totally normal and safe?"

THAT IS NOT NORMAL.

anything that bleeds for 7 days and doesn't die? is a freak of nature.

that is from a movie i can't remember which one?

anyway. i guess us woman are all freaks of nature.

i don't wanna be a freak anymore.

and why do they always have to come at the WORST time. like the one time i was in Australia... scuba diving in the Great Barrier Reef. where there are sharks. WTF NATURE. give me a break!

sugar doll...

so i am such a procrastinator and that is nothing new to anyone here.  but i have gotten some blog tags, i mean awards that i need to post about! plus sean is out going to school and helping people and making the world a better place and getting smarter while i am just sitting at my home on the couch, eating my 10th cookie for the day because i can't even eat real meals because wait that is not true, i had noodles and co. for lunch for the 2nd time this week even though it is only Tuesday and please don't judge me for that i just really wanted it again. great, now i want it again because i am talking about it on my blog while watching Merry Madagascar waiting for The Biggest Loser to start that i am way excited for because it is the makeover episode and i can't stop talking in a run on sentence so i will just post this award now so we can all not want to chop off our foots and so we can forget this really long never-ending paragraph ever happened.

this is the sugar doll award! i have to admit i was slightly disappointed that i don't get an actual award made out of sugar for getting this sugar award. but i guess it fits because pretty much all i eat is sugar.  so now i get to tell you 10 things about myself that you don't already know. hmmm.. wait a minute. what kind of award is this? it's like "hi, i have awarded you with the requirement of doing work" i feel like i am in school and just got assigned homework. this should be called "blog homework assignment." not award. okay i am totally kidding. i think i would rather have sugar. but i am still very grateful for this award and love all my bloggy friends! K.. i am going to shut up, eat another cookie, and post my 10 things.

(i know, i am exhausting. i wear my self out too)

1. my mother had 2 sets of twins. age 2 and under. i am one minute older than my twin sis maddie.

although, we were born by c-section. if we would have been born out of the "whee-whoo" as sean likes to call it, (actually it's more like a whistle and a hand gesture) then maddie would have been the oldest. i weighed 5lbs 5 oz, and she was 4 lbs 6 oz. i think. i even ate more than her in the womb. maddie HATES sugar and sweet things. that is all i eat. so i am guessing all the food we got from that one cord that i can't spell right because spell check won't let me and i have tried every possible way i promise! anyway, it must have been full of sugar.

2. i have a very long tongue. i can stick it up my nose. you better believe that i am proud of that.

3.  i broke my first law when i was 5 years old. me and my friends stole all the mail on 2 blocks.. put it in our little "mail man truck" .. took it to this field..ripped all of the mail into shreds. then put it back in the mail truck..and walked back to all the houses and delivered our idea of mail. little tiny shredded pieces. i like to think we were doing people favors..but apparently people wanted their checks and money and felt like they needed their bills. whatever.

4. i am obsessed with baby elephants. i talk about them all the time. why? because i am obsessed.

5. i hate cotton balls. i have this fear of them getting in my mouth and it freaks me out. one time i got asked to a dance by this kid. he filled my room with cotton balls. i said yes. it was icky. also it was one of the worst dates i have ever been on. hmmm.. we didn't even go to the dance..and we got lost on our way to the haunted house that we ditched the dance for.

6. one time in college? my roommate liked this one guy and he came over and hung out with us.. well somehow..he ended up in my single bed with me while i was trying to sleep. my friend didn't know what to do, i didn't know what to do. he was trying to get me to scratch his back. he was asking me all these stupid questions about life and trying to be deep. well i felt so bad because my friend liked him and i was seriously just trying to sleep. he laid in the bed with me for 4 hours!! finally i got up to "go to the bathroom" and he started talking to himself. (remember, my friend heard all of this) so anyway he was saying how stupid he was and all this stuff i guess. when i came back in, he decided to leave..i walked him out and i flat out told him i was not comfortable and that my friend really liked him. he left..and when i went back in the room..full on expecting to get punched in the face by my friend? well she busted up laughing and we laughed forever because she told me about how he talked to himself. we never saw him again.

7. i have had 3 foot surgeries and one shoulder surgery. i have 2 pins and a huge screw in one of my foots/feet. how do you say that?

8. i used to be obsessed with the group "Wilson Phillips" oh how i loved Wendy. i wanted to be her. "Someday somebody's gonna make you wanna turn around and say goodbye! Til then stay there or are you going to let them push you down and make you cry. Don'tcha know...Don'tcha know..things will go your way...if you hold on for one more day..things will go your way... Hold on for one more day!!"

oh man i can't believe i just typed all that.

9. lately, in the mornings after i wake up... (after sean of course) i sing him this song in Opera. "I have a structured settlement and i need cash now... 877-CASH-NOW! 877-CASH-NOW!" he won't admit it, but he LOVES it. anyone seen that commercial? "CALL JG WENTWORTH! 877-CASH-NOW!"

*no i do not work for JG WENTWORTH and have never used them before. this thing about me was in no way meant to promote them or anything (legal term here blah blah blah) for them. *

10. i have beat the world tour on Rock Band. i think the one we did had 68 songs. we did it on christmas eve... started at 10 at night and played til 7 am on christmas morning. there were 3 of us. my brother wanted to quit. he was playing expert on the guitar, i was playing medium on the base, so that i could save everyone else when they were about to die. he kept saying "guys, i can't go on..." because we had this one song we couldn't pass and played like 87 times. i made him get a Mt. Dew. and guess what guys? we got through it. we all learned a huge lesson that day. never give up. and??

 you don't get anything after you beat the world tour on Rock Band. it sucks.
so you should probably give up.

i tag anyone who is bored. MINDY. and everyone else...

oh and i just barely decided that i wanted to "spice" up this award. ya know like "sugar and spice." stupid, no? i'm not sure if i can do that or who really invented this blog award...
i don't know if there is a company that does it and if you even make money off of it
or anything like that but anyway, i am adding...

get this...

an 11th thing.
why? because i just thought about it and wanted to.

11. i once spent 1 and a half hours with Topher Grace. you know..Eric from That 70's Show? and by spent i mean hung out with. and by hung out with i meant that we rode on a plane together. and by together i mean that we were like 12 rows apart but still
he was much taller than i thought he would be. he tried to "lay low".
apparently he was going to Salt Lake to meet his mom and fly somewhere else.
don't ask how i know this.
however, everyone kept saying..
"oh my gosh!! Toby Maguire is on this flight! you know? the guy from Spiderman?"
yes he was in Spiderman.
but he is not Toby.
oh this one time..i almost got kicked off of a plane because apparently it is not okay to threaten
the flight attendant who calls Topher Grace Toby Maguire.
who knew?

our.city.lights

http://www.ourcitylights.org/

a few weeks ago, Diana over at our.city.lights emailed us and asked if we would be interested in doing an interview for a series of posts she is doing called "_________ is for lovers." she asked if we would do the Humor is For Lovers interview. of course we were excited and then i put it off til the last minute. because let's just face it, that is how i am! so sorry Diana! anyway, Diana's blog is amazing. if you have the chance to check it out you should. she has featured my sister on there a couple of times. she interviews all sorts of incredible photographers and always has the neatest ideas and cool finds. her etsy shop is incredible. if you have time today, you should check it out! thanks again Diana! we think you are great and so very talented!

behold, a masterpiece.

so tonight, i had a craving for chocolate.

i know, what else is new?

so i made one of my favorite cookies...

{chewy chocolate with peanut butter chips}

but then i was reminded of a dream i had while taking

a nap yesterday. yes, i dream about food A LOT.

in my dream, i invented this new peanut butter frosting.

so today, i tried to make it...

and i ended up with peanut butter oreos! 

since nabisco stopped making them,

i had gone into a deep depression.

i am convinced that is why i had this dream.

to make the world a better place, with peanut butter oreos.

guess i will have to make my own from now on.

don't ask for the frosting recipe.

i honestly just threw stuff in a bowl.

but if you decide to ask, i am sure i can figure something out.

but i can't be held responsible if they turn out bad..

also, maybe i should start learning how to cook meals or something.

or healthy food.

haha, totally joking!

i had ya there for a second, didn't i?

sean and i did some rearranging this weekend.

and we got some new drapes to cover our gross

single paned sweaty condensated window.

i know i just made up that word because my spell check put a

red line under it, but i think it is kinda cool.

 or maybe i just spelled it wrong? oh well.

p.s. there are a TON of cookies. anyone want some?

p.s.s. we are going to watch Home Alone now.

it was the first movie i ever bought on DVD back in the day.

what was the first DVD you ever purchased?

p.s.s.s. i just asked sean what the first DVD he ever bought was?

and he told me he has never bought one before. WTF.

good to know that our whole movie collection was all purchased by me.

i think he should have to pay me a small fee to watch my movies.

is that going too far?

bad to great.

broken clutch?  $702

broken fly wheel? i don't even know.

 catalytic converter?  $200

inspection?   $ 55

oil change?   $42

registration? $107

plus stupid taxes? who knows..

add in a mean comment,

a stressful new work job,  and

a very negative, grumpy, mean, sad, PMS'y, ate enough 

to feed a large country chloe?

=

this guy still smiling.

priceless?

no. 

more like...

WTF.

who is he?

i swear i married the reincarnated 

Gahndi or Mother Theresa.

(they are both dead, right?)

mixed with a little bit of Ellen,

 and Martha Stewart.

throw in some macho guy so Sean feels better.

and a touch of Jesus.
 

sean was very sweet to me this weekend.

not that he isn't all the time.

but, he deserves an award for putting up with me this 

past week, and not divorcing me.

and even he if wanted to?

he didn't say it to my face.

and maybe he filed for divorce..

but he didn't make me sign any papers.

and even if he forged my signature?

it was still nice of him to not make me do that.

(he knows how much i hate signing stuff)

and he made me smile.

because i had refused to all week.

because i am a pathetic biotch.

this weekend was very relaxed and low-key.

we didn't do much. 

but we did take our babies (cinemark cups) to the mall,

just in case we went to a movie.

is it sad or awesome that they both

fit into my already over crowded purse?

i'm gonna with awesome.

we didn't even go to the movie. and mcdonald's

only charge .39 to fill up my cup.

earlier i got a pedicure...

with a gift card that sean won at a work party.

and i had a wonderful lunch with my family.

i took an amazing nap.

and at a lot of yummy pumpkin cupcakes.

it was a horrible week.

but it was a really great weekend.

thank you everyone..

for putting up with me.

you all rock.

and i feel blessed.

but also, you just all rock.

it is now 1 am.
sean is snoring, and i am watching wedding singer.

life is good.

"baby"

while i was at home making these with lee...

(which were delicious by the way)

and checking out this awesome blog

{this girl is painting her nails a different design, EVERYDAY. she is 

doing it for 365 days. AWESOME. i could never do it though}

sean was sending me pictures of his date.

trying to make me jealous, perhaps?

did it make me jealous?

no, it just made me fall even more in love with him.

i know. cheesy. but i don't care.

something about seeing him with kids really gets to me.

he is such a good uncle.

tonight, he went with me to get some ingredients for my

pumpkin cupcakes. while i was at the self checkout..

he was flirting with a little baby a few feet away.

trying to make her laugh.

when we left, he said,

"did you see that baby? she was the cutest thing

i have ever seen. she had the bluest eyes."

oh sean. such a softy! 

then he came home from his date and talked about how

when they were walking across the street, he was so 

afraid that kayla was going to trip on something and break her teeth.

or get hit by a car. or kidnapped.

he panicked when he had to take her to the bathroom.

he didn't want her to get lost.

it reminded me of the second i knew i loved him.

we were driving in his truck back in the day..

and he was talking about kayla. he calls her "Baby."

they have always had a special bond. 

when sean was in his accident, kayla was only a month old.

she would lay on his chest in the hospital.

i think it healed him.

anyway, he told me that he was a wreck when she first started

going to school. he was so worried that she wouldn't be 

able to get her lunch by herself because 

she was so little.

guys? if you want a girl to fall in love with you?

tell her something like that.

actually? if any other guy would have said that to me?

i would have been like,

"yeah...uh huh, riiiight."

anyway. this is the end of my cheesy, sappy post.

i'm a little hormonal at the moment.

oh, did i mention what is even more embarrassing than buying

herpes medication?

herpes medication and birth control.

it's like,

"hey what's up? oh, you want to know

what have i been doing since high school?

well i've been busy.

 can't you tell?"

tonight.

so today is our 8 month anniversary.
sean has a date with another woman tonight.

i have a date with my couch.

 i am going to sit at home and make polka dot pumpkin cupcakes,

 and i would like to thank jenni

for inspiring me!

i will probably Marley and Me. 

and cry. a lot.

i will probably not do any cleaning.

or put my laundry away.

i just found out my car getting fixed...

will be about $500 more dollars than i thought it would be.

i want to throw a brick through a window.

but i am going to not let it ruin my weekend.

i am going to be happy.

oh, sean's date with another woman?

it's his niece makayla.

they are going to a basketball game together.

i think it is the cutest thing in the whole world.

i wouldn't have tonight any other way.

he is so excited.

:)