gender ultrasound!

baby ashby #2 is a boy! we are so excited! i think sean and both kind of expected it to be a boy. i had a feeling it would be and sean was sort of up in the air but we were not shocked at all when it was a boy. maybe its just because we already made one boy? so maybe we are just good at making boys? haha who knows. i would have loved to have a girl for a couple of reasons, one of them being that if we had a girl, i feel like we could be done having kids if we wanted to. which i do think we will have at least 3 kids, but its nice to have one of each first, if you know what i mean? also, i struggled a lot when ben was born. i know everyone already knows all about it, the post-partum, ben's allergies and acid reflux, almost always crying in pain, not sleeping ever, and throwing up ALL THE TIME. everyone says baby's spit up a lot, but if you were to spend 5 minutes with ben you would have seen that it was much more than most babies. anyway, i am glad we got that all figured out, but it was a very hard 6 months until we did. i think when i found out it was a boy, i got scared. scared because at this point all i have to compare this baby to is how things went with ben. and in my mind, since ben was a boy, this boy will be the exact same experience. now i don't need anyone to tell me that it is ridiculous to think that. i already know that. i know every baby is totally different and this experience will not be identical to my first. and even if it is similar, i learned a lot through that and would handle it different this time. but its just how i felt at the moment. i was scared. i just had to be honest about how i was feeling. part of me thought that maybe if it were a girl, i wouldn't be as scared, because at least something about the experience would be different, if that makes any sense at all? i know, it's so silly. anyway, once i got over those feelings, the excitement set in. i am so excited for benny to have a little buddy! and there will be 4 grandsons, 2 1/2 years apart on my side! it will be so fun for them.

i feel like i let people down by not having a girl. that is even sillier than my above statement. but sooo many people were hoping for a girl since there haven't been any in quite a while in my extended family. but i know this is going to be so much fun. i think God knew that if i had a girl, i might in my mind feel like we could be done haha. so this is his way of insuring that we have at least one more child :) i am okay with that. i really do love being a mother. i feel like maybe i have not given off that vibe, because i tend to be really honest about the really hard times. that's just how i am though. i have to be honest about the good and the bad. it can be so hard at times. sometimes its harder more often than its amazing. but those amazing times make all the hard time worth it. i wouldn't change anything about this journey. and i do want more than two kids, just for the record haha. i know i say i would be good with two, but i think i just say that because i am scared of the unknown.

anyway, we went in for a gender ultrasound at 15 weeks and 5 days. when we went in for ben, right away i knew it was a boy. i saw that flash on the screen right at the beginning. there was no mistaking it. this baby was definitely not as open and flashy as ben. he was curled up in a ball almost the entire time. it made it really hard for us to really be able to see anything. when she finally got to the legs, to get that gender shot, it took a while. and for a few seconds there, you couldn't see anything in between the legs. that was basically the only moment in this pregnancy so far when i thought "wait, is this a girl??" i even said that. but the tech kept trying and said she thought she saw something in between the legs, and sure enough after some maneuvering she found the boy parts. they weren't the clearest, and she even went back at the end to double check. i mean there is no doubt it's a boy, but she definitely seemed more confident about ben being a boy. she said we would check again at the big 19 week scan. i feel pretty confident that nothing will change though.

it's so cool to me to finally know the gender. it makes it seem that much more real. calling it a he instead of it. i am excited to start feeling this little guy kick. i wonder if he will look like ben? i can't wait to meet him. i am scared to be a mother of two. and to be honest, it's not really even the newborn that scares me, it's just trying to give my attention to a newborn and a very active toddler that scares me. but people have been doing it for years and years and years obviously so i know i will figure it out :)

sorry, this post it all over the place! it's been a crazy week, and i guess i just needed to type it all out in a very chaotic mess of words. please excuse all the grammatical errors. in other news.....

last saturday sean hurt his back really bad. he was helping his brother move a compressor and his back just gave out. he has had back problems for a while, but this just was kind of the last straw. he couldn't move at all and an ambulance had to be called to get him to the hospital. after lots of steroids, pain medication, and muscle relaxers, he was finally able to sit up and go home. the x rays didn't show much so we were told he needed an MRI first thing on monday. that was a nightmare trying to get the insurance to pre-authorize it. i cried all day trying to get that taken care of but finally they pulled through last minute just as we were about to pay cash for it. which we will end up paying anyway, since we have a high deductible no HSA insurance plan. i won't get into that, but long story short, sean has a herniated disc that is pressing on a nerve. he will most likely have to have surgery, but we are waiting on a second opinion. he has basically just been lying in bed most of the week. not able to do much. he did got to work towards the end of the week and he is starting to feel a little better, but still very sore.

anyway. that was our week. very hard and very exciting :) we also celebrated moe's 5th birthday! i can't believe my first little baby is 5. it's so crazy to me how fast that went. i love my moses. even though he can drive me bonkers sometimes when he wakes up ben, i still love him. here are a few cute pictures of him and ben! love my boys!!

just a few other things.

{sorry here are just a few more random pictures that didn't quite go with my other posts}

> isn't that adorable gold tipped feather banner adorable!? lee made it and gave it to me at the shower! she has made so many cute things for the nursery and i can't wait to show them all off! lee knows the exact look that i am going for. i love it. once the nursery is finally complete, i want maddie to come and take some awesome pictures of it all. we have changed somethings around and ended up getting another dresser. it's not quite done yet, but if baby were to come now it would be just fine!

> this handsome man turned 27 on tuesday. words can never explain how much i love him. i know that is cliche to say.. but i really do love him so much. he really is my best friend. he has put up with so much from me, and i am so lucky. i still can't believe he wanted to be with me forever. he is so excited for this baby and i just know he is going to be such a great daddy. for his birthday we kept it low key. we are still trying to save up as much money as we can since we just paid off all of our student loans debt. we went to dinner at ruby river. his favorite. i gave him 2 batman shirts that he has been wanting for a while. i tried to plan to make him breakfast in the morning but he caught on the night before and decided he wanted breakfast for dinner the evening before. and he ended up making it. so much for me surprising him... haha.

> i drink 4 of these jugs of water a day. and i still have swelling in my hands, feet, and face. but oh well. it seems to help a lot, and i feel better when i do it. i am always thirsty. always. the doctor says everything is normal though and it's normal to retain water at this stage in pregnancy. i think everyone at church thinks i am pretty silly for carrying this around with me all the time but oh well! a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do! also, my mom got me some awesome lounging outfits from victoria's secret to wear at the hospital and after the baby comes.. but i have already been wearing them. even out and about and to work... i love them. this sweatshirt is one of them. i love the PINK clothing line there. thanks for the lounging outfits mom! they already have been and will be put to good use! you are the best!

> my little big moses. i love him so. even when he throws up on my new bedding.. and even though i caught most of it in my hands and had to rush to the toilet to throw it all in there while he was still gagging and it all caused me to have contractions and almost go into labor because i had to chase him around the room with a towel on the floor while he continued to dry heave... i still love him. it was actually pretty comical. and that was a very long, improper sentence. and i don't care. we also found a new thing that he is scared of, aside from the vacuum, blow dryer, blender, my electric toothbrush, and drill. the diaper pail. yes, you read that correctly.

already best friends

moses just can't seem to leave my belly alone these days.

november

november just flew by! i can't believe that it's already december. november has always held a special place in my heart because it's the month that sean and i got engaged. we got engaged right before thanksgiving 4 years ago. those pictures of us are from that night. we look so young! it's crazy how much can change in 4 years..

this year we hosted thanksgiving at our house for the first time! it was a lot of work but totally worth it. my parents came and so did sean's parents, brandon, and maddie. sam and sarah showed up for a little bit too! sean and i prepared the turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, and pies. everyone else brought the rest! we wish we could have had the rest of the family here, but hopefully next year! it is crazy to think that next year we will have a little baby crawling around.

we had a few mishaps with the pies. okay i had a few mishaps.. haha. let's just say i only planned on making 2 pies. which is what we ended up with.. but i made about 4 pies in the process. it all ended up working out in the end though and i think that they turned out okay! i may have had a huge dramatic pregnancy meltdown in the process. which ended with sean and i laughing so hard at how ridiculous it all was. it was pretty funny. i am so glad that i have him to take care of me. i had overdone it that night and the next day i was so sore. he started a bath for me and pulled me out of bed and ordered me to get in and relax. i am a lucky lady!

moses has been super snuggly lately. i don't know if it's because we went out of town and left him for a bit but lately he has been so attached to me. he always wants to be right next to me on the bed. my growing belly has made it difficult having him sleep on the bed. we have had to start kicking him off at night. it breaks my heart but there just isn't enough room right now for my big belly, my body pillow, my 16 other pillows that i need for support and sean. moe still manages to fit on the bed somehow, but he likes to lay the the horizontal right in between us and it kicks us both off the bed. he hasn't really loved getting kicked off lately, but oh well. he ends up on his dog bed or under the bed. he loves being under the bed. hence all the hair under there that you can see in the first picture. don't worry, sean has vacuumed that all up since this was taken. i have been looking at getting a king size bed. i just haven't quite talked sean into it yet...  i really love my bed frame and headboard and that is really the only thing holding me back from getting a king. i don't think they make this bed anymore. :(

anyway, november has been busy for us both. it was a good month, but i am glad that it is over because now we get to move on to christmas time! i am a little bit obsessed with this time of year...

life lately

• i have finally gotten motivated to start working on the nursery. i am ordering the crib tomorrow and plan to get that faux sheepskin rug. i have purchased those deer antlers from hobby lobby like the one in that picture, i just need to paint them. trying to decide if i want to do that bronze color like she did, or paint them a different color. the nursery is going to be very neutral colors. browns, blacks, whites, creams, with a few pops of gray and mustard yellow. well, at least that is what i am saying for now. i have a beautiful afghan that my grandma made me a few years ago that will go perfect with all those colors. i wasn't planning to really have a theme for the nursery, but the more i get into this, the more i realize it's becoming an animal theme. but kind of in a more adult way if that makes sense. i have tons of elephant figurines and african stuff. throw in the antlers and the sheepskin rug? yeah. it's animal themed in a subtle way. i guess..
• i ordred the diaper bag! it's a men's diaper bag actually. and it's a little pricier than i probably every would have spent, but my sister maddie really wanted the diaper bag to be a gift from her so she gave me a budget and told me to order one. she is the best! i love the bag. it's from the petunia pickle bottom men's collection. i read great reviews about it and love it because sean can carry it around if needed and not feel as silly.
• weeks 21-23. i almost feel like i look smaller in week 23... hmm. oh well! i went to the dr. again this week and plan to do a separate post on that tomorrow for the official 24 week post. seems like i am just gonna post every time i go to the doctor. works for me! i can handle that. i would love to update every week.. but i just don't have the time or energy. so expect more on this tomorrow... or sometime this weekend.
• we went to sundance a couple of weekends ago with my family. it is so beautiful up there! we ate at the owl bar. i think i had the best burger i've had in a long time there. then we rode the ski lift and enjoyed the changing leaves!
• moses has been as adorable as ever lately. he is truly one of my best friends. i know i always say it.. but i mean it. he is family. he is good people. i love him so much. he thinks he is human. he also thinks he is little. he loves the car so much and freaks out anytime he hears us say car. i love it. him and sean are my best buds. can't wait for baby boy to join in on the fun!
• we have received some awesome stuff for the baby lately. everyone is so generous! i finally found out who sent me the diapers and wipes! let's just say she knows who she is and i love her to death! you are amazing girl! thank you so much!!!
• heartburn. ughh. i hate it. but my friend juli (who is 2 weeks behind me in her pregnancy) gave me some almonds and seriously? they do work! and they are good for you! thanks juli!!
• my mom took me shopping for some maternity clothes and she had to get us that little elephant. it is so soft. i love it! more on the maternity clothes in the next pregnancy update...

i will update more about the pregnancy later, like i said. things have been going pretty good for us though! sean's sister amanda (also one of my best friends) and her sweet family just moved away to vernal! we are super sad and miss them so much but know that it's the best thing for them. devin and katie moved away too so it's been an interesting adjustment having everyone so far but i know we will all still see each other as often as we can! work is busy, the weather is cooling off. we are enjoying that! i watched all three seasons of vampire diaries in a 2 week period and i am soooo excited for the season premiere tonight. sean thinks i am crazy. i am obsessed. i never thought i would like a show like that. haha. lets see.. what else? oh, we are really working hard to pay off sean's student loans. it's been interesting trying to do that and add in the cost of getting ready for the baby.. but we feel it will be worth it! we are so close to being done! 2/3 of it has been paid off since he graduated! just a little bit more to go! we are trying to do this so that if i can't go back to work after the baby, or if i only go back part time it will make things easier since his loans are no longer on hold starting this month. we have no clue who can or will be able to watch the baby, so we are just trying to plan for that in case we can't find anyone. it will all work out how it's supposed to though! well, that's it for now! off to a wedding reception! it's been a busy week... the whole rest of this month is crazy!

moses waiting.

everyday when i get home from work, moses sits and looks out the window in our bedroom. just waiting for kaden, his dog walker to get here. sometimes he comes earlier in the day but lately since he has tennis, i get to see moses sit and wait for him. every time that he sees someone outside he starts to think it is kaden. today some kids rode by on their bikes and usually kaden is on a bike. moses started freaking out! he was whining like crazy. he was so excited. he ran downstairs and sat by the door. he kept coming up to look at me like i was crazy for not opening the door. he came back up and sat by the window and that is when i started filming. when he finally sees kaden he goes crazy. he loves kaden so much! it is the sweetest thing!

moses and the hoodie

it was a little chilly today. moses needed to be bundled up. 

and don't let his face fool you. he loved this. i think..

and believe it or not, this was sean's doing. not mine.

a priceless picture.

on our anniversary last week, sean asked me to send him my favorite picture of moses. he said it was a secret. well this is my favorite picture. it was taken by my sister maddie the day that we got him. you don't have to know that i sent him like 6 more though. but that is besides the point. well the reason that he asked was because one of his co-workers has a daughter who is an amazing artist. and she loves puppies. so she is pretty much my best friend. he had her draw this for me. look at this! isn't amazing? oh and guess what. she is only 11! yes. you read that right. 11. i am amazed. this picture is priceless to me. thank you sean and thank you to the amazing 11 year old artist!

p.s. this picture is taken from sean's phone so i haven't even seen the original yet. i can't wait!

p.s.s. my mom will be announcing winner of her giveaway on friday.. so make sure you go enter soon! your chances of winning are still very high!

moses turns two!

this little  big boy had a birthday today! i can't believe he is two. i kind of failed as a doggy mom as far as gifts go {it was a busy weekend.. } but have no fear. . . our dog walker kaden pulled through! when we got to church today, he ran up to me and said, "stay right there! i have something for mo mo!" he came running back with a little gift for moses. seriously? i love this kid. he is honestly such a stud. yesterday he gave me a get well card/thank you card for my tonsils and for letting him walk moses. he is too cute. i took these pictures of him a few weeks ago but thought i would post them in this post. moses adores him. look at the way he looks at him in all these pictures. he thinks he is the cat's pajamas. wait.. maybe that's not the right term. i don't think mo is a huge fan of cats... anyway. i can't believe my baby puppy dog is 2. it it seems like just yesterday when we got him. he has brought so much happiness to our lives. i know that sounds ridiculous but it is true. we love him so much. i can't imagine life without him! he spent the day eating lots of treats and lots of snuggling with sean and i. it was a great day. he turned one while we were on our cruise last year. i am glad we got to be here this year for his birthday!

happy birthday mo mo! we love you!

oh moses...

these were taken a couple of days ago. this is how moses always is when we eat.

our neighbors brought some cookies and i couldn't pass the opportunity up to just taste one. 

moses couldn't either. look at the drool. how can anyone say no to that face??