tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23795406472421026872024-03-14T09:21:54.348-06:00sean and chloéchloéhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16302480746230810221noreply@blogger.comBlogger581125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2379540647242102687.post-21410068726343425972015-07-13T22:01:00.001-06:002015-07-13T22:01:31.162-06:00weeks 26-33 with baby #2ughhh. i am super frustrated with my computer right now. and flickr. every time i log on to post flickr has changed and trying to embed photos has changed and i am just getting really annoyed and it makes me not want to blog ever again!! so anyway, i hate the format of all of this but i am just gonna post it anyway.<br />
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so i have slacked on posting, yet again. but this post will just kind of cover the last 9 weeks and where i am at now.<br />
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i am 34.5 weeks! yikes. my doctor said i could get induced at 39 weeks if my body is ready. which i doubt it will be since it wasn't that way with ben, but just knowing in my head that could be in 4 weeks and like 4 days just sounds so much more bearable than like 7 weeks haha. in fact, i'll be 39 weeks in exactly one month from tomorrow! i like that i was able to go into labor on my own with ben. i hope that happens with this baby. i don't want to have to get induced and most likely i won't, but we will see what happens. ahhh! i am so terrified and so excited. mostly because i now know what the newborn world is like. its so hard, so wonderful, but so hard. and ben was not the easiest baby, so i think for me, i am even more scared of that stage. but i also feel like i know now that it is temporary. i will survive and eventually sleep again! this time around i will get on post partum depression meds immediately! i am going to try to be easier on myself as far as nursing goes and just go with the flow as far as a schedule. i was so wound up with ben... comparing him and myself to others and i just can't do that this time!<br />
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baby is the size of a cantaloupe or a pineapple! 4.9 lbs and 19-22 inches! crazy. there is a full on baby in me.<br />
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i have gained about 25+ lbs. depends on the day. yikes. i weigh more than i have ever weighed since i started out this pregnancy heavier than i was with ben. i am trying not to be too hard on myself. i know you lose a lot of fluid after the baby is born and this has been a summer pregnancy so i am sure i am retaining more water.<br />
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i have had contractions and lots of braxton hicks. feeling uncomfortable but my sciatic nerve pain and tailbone have been feeling so much better lately. i am sleeping better than i was a month or two ago so that is good!<br />
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i am really annoyed with my computer right now and i actually am having some contractions at the moment so i am gonna cut this short, but i may come back and add more later!! here are some pics from the last 9 weeks. my computer is being stupid or blogger and i don't feel like adding how far along i was in each pic but its from weeks 26-33!<br />
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chloéhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16302480746230810221noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2379540647242102687.post-42628958695746483652015-05-06T22:23:00.001-06:002015-05-06T22:23:04.902-06:00a little life update and weeks 22-25 with baby #2well i am behind on blogging about this pregnancy. shocker i know! we moved a few weeks ago though, and my laptop was in storage, and then when we finally got into the new house, it took us a week or so to get internet. so anyway, i am almost 25 weeks now. yikes. i remember being 15 weeks and thinking if i could get to 25 weeks it would feel so much closer to being done, but now that i am here... i feel like 15 weeks is forever away. but i also feel like that is not enough time. i am so excited to meet this little guy, but also extremely terrified to be a mother of two. ben is extremely active, curious, adventurous, and demands a lot of attention or else he will get hurt or who knows what. i am nervous about how i am going to handle a newborn with a crazy toddler, but i am pretty sure people have been doing it for years, so somehow i will survive. i have just accepted the fact that kids are resilient, my life is no longer about me, and things get better with time. so we will figure it out somehow! being in a bigger house will help. ben absolutely loves our backyard and we have a sliding door to go out there so he is out there ALL the time. i need to figure out a way to childproof it but he already figured it out when i stuck a curtain rod in the door. he knows to pull it out when he wants to go out and he actually locked me out of the house by walking back in and putting the pull in. ugh. talk about backfire. see why i am nervous to have a newborn that demands 24/7 care with a benny? he has gotten his head stuck in the stair rail already and we don't have a lock on this pantry so that's a whole other issue. we will figure it out though.<br />
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i need to do a post on the new house. i will get to it. but we love it here so far. i miss my old bedroom.. it was a lot bigger than this one, but all of the other things about this house make it so much better than the last. we love the neighborhood, the location, the size, the backyard, the layout... we need to do some painting though. ben and the new baby's room are pink right now haha. we got a new kitchen table and when it got delivered on tuesday, i marched right back to RC willey to exchange it. we loved the table but we were deciding between 2. sean of course liked the cheaper one more, so we decided to go with that one, but when it sat in our kitchen it just didn't work. the color was too dark, almost a cherry red, and it clashed with all the other colors in the kitchen. we exchanged it for a different one, that has more of a rustic farmhouse style which is what i wanted in the first place. the other one was a little too traditional for me. it had leather seats and a bench. size wise it was great but this other one will be much better. we got a wood bench to go with it and i picked up some vintage metal bistro chairs today to go with it that will match our counter stools. the new table will be delivered on friday and they will take the one we didn't want haha. anyway, we love the house so far and i didn't mean to go off on that but i will post more about the house later with pictures.<br />
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i meant for this post to be about how the pregnancy is going but maybe we will just consider this a life update post. back to the pregnancy though.<br />
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<b>how big is baby:</b> in between an ear of corn and a rutabaga. so anywhere from like 8.5 inches to 13.5. about 1-2lbs. every app is different though so its hard to know. he feels huge. i feel him ALL over.</div>
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<b>total weight gain: </b>if you go off of my first dr. appt at 11 weeks, i think its like 5 lbs. but if you go off what i think i was before i got pregnant? probably like 12-13. who knows. all i know is that i weighed 10 lbs less when i got pregnant with ben, and i am like 7 lbs away from being what i weighed when i had ben.. haha. so i feel huge knowing that i still have 15 weeks left and i am almost that weight. oh well. i am pregnant. its the one time in my life its good to gain weight and i need to embrace it, even though its hard! i swear like 10lbs of it is in my chest. they almost make my stomach seem smaller because they are so big. i hate them. </div>
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<b>sleep:</b> great. except for if ben wakes up i have a hard time going back to sleep. but for some reason when i wake up to pee i can go right back to sleep. unisom helps me wonders. <br />
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<b>best moment of the week: </b>hmmm.. this baby has been moving for a while but he has been super super active this week. especially today. sending sean videos of my morphing stomach was a pretty cool moment this week.</div>
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<b>food cravings:</b> still tacos 180. and donuts, and ice cream cones or concrete mixers from culvers. and tootsie rolls.</div>
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<b>food aversions: </b>nothing really. </div>
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<b>symptoms:</b> i am sure if i wasn't on prilosec everyday i would have awful heartburn.. but i got on top of that this pregnancy and its been awesome not having to deal with it. except on the days i forget or run out.. the heartburn is AWFUL. also, at my last appointment i told my doctor about some stomach pains i have been having and she is pretty sure its my gallbladder. not much i can do but take lortab that she prescribed if i need it, and try to eat less fatty and fibrous foods. my back and hips hurt a lot and i have had a lot of braxton hicks and today i have had a lot of cramping.. which feels different than braxton hicks and round ligament pain. its closer to period cramps, which is how it was when i finally went into labor, so that scares me. i am sure its nothing though. maybe just a growth spurt or something. also, i feel like i can't breathe. ever. lung wise and nostril wise. super fun! :)</div>
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<b>movement:</b> yes. tons and tons. </div>
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<b>gender:</b> boy!</div>
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<b>what i miss:</b> i will always say smaller boobs and that will always be my answer.</div>
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here i am at almost 22 weeks. <br />
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<a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/105650465@N06/16971792977" title="22 weeks today. This baby is not growing out the way Ben did. He is growing up, back, and sideways.. But not out. I have to really push my hand/arm in to make it obvious there is a bump or else it just looks like I'm really thick and solid in the middle h by Chloé Ashby, on Flickr"><img alt="22 weeks today. This baby is not growing out the way Ben did. He is growing up, back, and sideways.. But not out. I have to really push my hand/arm in to make it obvious there is a bump or else it just looks like I'm really thick and solid in the middle h" height="640" src="https://farm8.staticflickr.com/7597/16971792977_489e9739fe_o.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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here i am at almost 25 weeks. this picture is deceiving though. the phone and my hand hide my chest so it makes me look a lot smaller than i actually look haha. oh well. ill take it.<br />
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<a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/105650465@N06/17397775285" title="Untitled by Chloé Ashby, on Flickr"></a>
<a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/105650465@N06/17211540019" title=" by Chloé Ashby, on Flickr"><img alt=" " height="640" src="https://farm9.staticflickr.com/8745/17211540019_8bbcacfd97_o.jpg" width="640" /></a>chloéhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16302480746230810221noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2379540647242102687.post-27259201164711303712015-04-07T21:34:00.000-06:002015-04-07T21:34:27.503-06:00weeks 17-21 with baby #2<a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/105650465@N06/16453231383/" title="Untitled by chloeroseashby, on Flickr"><img alt="Untitled" height="640" src="https://farm8.staticflickr.com/7697/16453231383_12a38bb2c1_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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so the top picture is benny at 20 weeks and the bottom picture is baby #2 at 18 weeks 5 days. technically you could say 19 weeks, since i am measuring 3 days ahead, but it's not enough to change my due date, so whatever. i think their profiles look a lot alike!<br />
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so anyway, we had our big anatomy scan a couple of weeks ago. baby boy was no cooperating. he didn't cooperate very well at the gender ultrasound either. he likes to put his hands everywhere that the tech tries to measure. there were a couple of things that the tech noted. baby is breech right now, but so was ben and he flipped before delivery so i am not too worried about that. when we went in, i was having a contraction that made the measuring difficult. my placenta appeared way too close to my cervix during the contraction, but once it stopped she checked again and it was still close, but it's right on the border of it being a concern. the placenta should only move up from here, so she wasn't super worried. he did have a hole in his heart, but she said that usually they close up before they are born. i am thinking they aren't too concerned because i haven't gotten a call from them telling me to come back in. and this boy definitely does not like to show off his parts. ben was so open and not shy at all. this little guy likes to curl up in a ball and not show us anything. she could barely even tell if he was a boy and kept trying to go back but he wasn't cooperating. since she said it was a boy at 16 weeks, i am sticking to that, but it would be nice to have 100% confirmation haha.<br />
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i am just going to update on how i am now at almost 21 weeks.<br />
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<b>how big is baby:</b> the size of a mango or banana. my apps say about 6.5 inches and 11 oz. he was 11 oz 18 weeks 5 days, so i am sure he is bigger now.</div>
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<b>total weight gain: </b>i feel and probably look like i just keep steadily gaining weight, but the doctor said i have only gained about 2 lbs since my 11 week checkup and would like to see me gain more. i think i just gained like 5-7 lbs right at the beginning and have sort of slowed down a little. i am okay with that except i know i still have 20 more weeks to go haha. i will probably gain at least another 20 lbs. so i don't think that doctor needs to be concerned at all. its funny how different things are the second time around. the first time, everything happens sooo slowly. you slowly watch your body change and i feel like that gives you time to sort of accept the changes. the second time, its like your body knows exactly what to do, and things that didn't get a certain size until like 20-30 weeks, just get bigger immediately. your hips, boobs, tummy, face, and everything else just know what to do now. its definitely harder to deal with this time, since it literally happens overnight and i still have a lot longer to go. i do not feel like myself at all, but i know this is only temporary and my body is doing a pretty cool thing. my bump is definitely there but not really round. its actually quite odd shaped. i feel like instead of growing out he's growing up and in. which just makes it so i can't breathe and makes me feel pretty thick and solid from my boobs down to my hips. i would rather grow out so the bump looks a little more obvious and not just like i am filling out majorly and getting chubby haha.</div>
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<b>sleep:</b> sleeping great. have to pee a lot but it's not that bad. my body pillow helps a lot and i think im at the point that i can't sleep on my tummy anymore. which is hard because i am a stomach sleeper all the way. </div>
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<b>best moment of the week:</b> feeling lots of kicks! </div>
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<b>food cravings:</b> i have been under a lot of stress lately and have had a lot of stomach pain lately. so eating isnt my favorite right now, but cravings have been buffalo chicken tacos from 180 tacos. i am obsessed. and i still always want candy. i can't get enough tootsie rolls these days. lately though i have been sticking to bland food and just have toast or cereal. and my stomach still hurts!</div>
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<b>food aversions: </b>nothing really. not super into meat or veggies but thats sort of how i am when i am not pregnant either.</div>
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<b>symptoms:</b> prilosec is a lifesaver. except i ran out yesterday and had AWFUL heartburn today. we made sure to go to costco today and stock up. bad bloating and stomach aches, headaches, and my back is starting to hurt. i think the weight from my chest is really affecting my back. oh and i guess the belly haha.</div>
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<b>movement:</b> yes! started feeling him around 18 weeks. much earlier than last time. i feel him often now.</div>
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<b>gender:</b> boy! at least i still hope so haha! would love more confirmation.</div>
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<b>what i miss:</b> i will always say smaller boobs and taking alka seltzer for stomach aches.</div>
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here are some pictures from the last few weeks:<br />
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17 weeks</div>
<a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/105650465@N06/17047422756/" title="Untitled by chloeroseashby, on Flickr"><img alt="Untitled" height="640" src="https://farm8.staticflickr.com/7612/17047422756_b086983a04_z.jpg" width="640" /></a>
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19 weeks<br />
<a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/105650465@N06/16453230053/" title="Untitled by chloeroseashby, on Flickr"><img alt="Untitled" height="639" src="https://farm8.staticflickr.com/7626/16453230053_593d942982_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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i have had quite a few contractions lately. like i mentioned i have been under a lot of stress, and i know it's not good for me or the baby. we are in the middle of selling our house and buying a new one and moving and it has been incredibly hard on me. i feel like i have maybe developed an ulcer from stress and that could be why my stomach hurts all the time. i will save that all for another post another day.. but if i start talking about it now i will start crying and i have been crying all week, so i won't write about it tonight.chloéhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16302480746230810221noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2379540647242102687.post-10084237602089311852015-03-06T22:01:00.000-07:002015-03-06T22:01:07.113-07:0016 weeks with baby #2well, with my pregnancy with ben, i documented a lot of it. this time around, i have a lot less time to do that. i feel bad that i haven't really written anything down. i am trying to be better. i think occasionally i will do these little survey things if i can find the time! i am 16 weeks now.<br />
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<b>how big is baby:</b> the size of an avocado. about 4-5 inches and 3-5 oz.</div>
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<b>total weight gain:</b> ugh. i am definitely gaining weight quicker this pregnancy. and instead of really being in my belly, it's all over the place. my boobs have honestly tripled in size. i HATE them. i told sean i want a mastectomy. that's how bad i hate boobs. sorry i just do. i keep feeling like i have gained like 15 lbs already since i weigh that much more now than i did before i got pregnant with ben.. but the truth is i weighed about 10 more lbs before i got pregnant with this baby than i did before i got pregnant with ben. if that makes sense. when i got pregnant with ben, i had lost a little weight from my tonsillectomy so i was already a little smaller than i normally was. with this one we had just gotten back from a cruise (ALL YOU DO IS EAT) and then there was thanksgiving.. so yeah. also, i hate the doctor's scale. i will weigh myself at home and it will be like 3 lbs less than the doctors scale. it makes me mad and confused. also, yesterday i weighed myself and was down like 5 lbs from the day before on the same scale. my weight fluctuates so bad. if i were to make a guess, i would say up 5 -7 lbs, even though it probably looks and feels like more. and after yesterday it being lower i don't even know anymore. let's just say nothing looks good and the only thing comfortable is sweats. and i definitely am bigger. with ben, i was not sick at all the first trimester except towards the end and most of the second trimester. this time i was very sick in the first trimester and would often eat crap to help with the nausea. it's funny to be throwing up but gaining more weight haha. that was a novel. sorry. i really don't care. as long as the baby is healthy i'll weigh whatever.</div>
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<b>sleep:</b> sleeping pretty good. but that's because i can still comfortably sleep on my stomach. i don't mean to, but i always end up on my stomach. i know soon i won't be able to though. i don't know how well sleep will be after that. i also take unisom every night to help with nausea so that could be why i am sleeping better. and ben still wakes up occasionally and of course i have to pee 5 times a night. but i am still sleeping okay.</div>
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<b>best moment of the week:</b> seeing this cute little guy and finding out he's a guy!</div>
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<b>food cravings:</b> i don't know if it's being in the second trimester and not feeling as sick all the time and feeling like i need to eat constantly, but my appetite has definitely subsided. maybe that's why my weight went down a little. really, all that sounds good lately is candy and diet dr. pepper. which is funny because i was on a dirty diet coke kick for soooooo long. </div>
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<b>food aversions: </b>nothing really. but nothing really sounds good either. just haven't been too hungry.</div>
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<b>symptoms:</b> with ben i noticed this week i had way bad heartburn.. but this time around i have already started taking prilosec every day and haven't had heartburn in weeks! wahoo! it's been so nice. i wish i would have done this sooner with ben. up until 2 weeks ago tums were my best friend. and i hate tums haha. i have had lots of headaches this week. i do have a bad cold though, so that could be why. i have only thrown up once this week and it was more of a dry heave episode. i am starting to get a little energy back, but that might be because i kind of had no choice with sean being hurt. maybe it was adrenaline? maybe the anti-depressant that my doctor put me on is starting to kick in? who knows? but i have been feeling better.</div>
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<b>movement:</b> not yet. well there have been some times i have questioned if i felt something, but nothing yet where i absolutely knew it was the baby. i hear you feel the baby sooner in your second pregnancy, so we will see! </div>
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<b>gender:</b> boy!</div>
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<b>what i miss:</b> smaller boobs. i said that <a href="http://seanandchloe.blogspot.com/2012/08/17-weeks.html">last time</a> (well at 17 weeks. i didn't do a 16 week one) and i am saying it again. and fitting into clothes. </div>
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i haven't been taking many pictures this time around. i just have not felt cute at all. not that i felt super cute last time haha. i don't know if it's because i am heavier at this point that i was with ben, and cutting my hair like 2 weeks before i got pregnant? i don't know, but i haven't felt cute at all. please don't think i feel sorry for my self or anything. i just never feel like myself when i am pregnant. nothing fits, and i never get ready anymore. when i was pregnant with ben i had to get dressed and go to work everyday so i had a reason to get ready. this time ben and i stay home most the day in our pajamas. i don't have a picture for 16 weeks but here are some from 10 and 11 weeks. </div>
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10 weeks.</div>
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<a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/105650465@N06/16739081355/" title="Untitled by chloeroseashby, on Flickr"><img alt="Untitled" height="639" src="https://farm9.staticflickr.com/8618/16739081355_49e5864f34_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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11 weeks.<br />
<a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/105650465@N06/16713210476/" title="Untitled by chloeroseashby, on Flickr"><img alt="Untitled" height="639" src="https://farm8.staticflickr.com/7290/16713210476_ef5a9dd13a_z.jpg" width="640" /></a>
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<br />chloéhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16302480746230810221noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2379540647242102687.post-8866629491081556192015-03-06T21:18:00.000-07:002015-03-06T21:18:27.695-07:00gender ultrasound!<div>
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<a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/105650465@N06/16723643002/" title="My little guy curled up in a ball. He was definitely not as open and willing to show us his parts as Ben was. He just wanted to stay curled up in a ball not facing anyone haha. It was cute! I still can't wrap my head around the fact that I am going to hav by chloeroseashby, on Flickr"><img alt="My little guy curled up in a ball. He was definitely not as open and willing to show us his parts as Ben was. He just wanted to stay curled up in a ball not facing anyone haha. It was cute! I still can't wrap my head around the fact that I am going to hav" height="640" src="https://farm9.staticflickr.com/8614/16723643002_2684ca812e_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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<a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/105650465@N06/16531424727/" title="Untitled by chloeroseashby, on Flickr"><img alt="Untitled" height="511" src="https://farm9.staticflickr.com/8589/16531424727_53457f3ddd_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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<a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/105650465@N06/16719930745/" title="It's a boy!!!! (the best picture I could get) by chloeroseashby, on Flickr"><img alt="It's a boy!!!! (the best picture I could get)" height="640" src="https://farm9.staticflickr.com/8629/16719930745_eea33656f5_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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<a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/105650465@N06/16551136938/" title="Untitled by chloeroseashby, on Flickr"><img alt="Untitled" height="480" src="https://farm9.staticflickr.com/8627/16551136938_0d74a376df_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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baby ashby #2 is a boy! we are so excited! i think sean and both kind of expected it to be a boy. i had a feeling it would be and sean was sort of up in the air but we were not shocked at all when it was a boy. maybe its just because we already made one boy? so maybe we are just good at making boys? haha who knows. i would have loved to have a girl for a couple of reasons, one of them being that if we had a girl, i feel like we could be done having kids if we wanted to. which i do think we will have at least 3 kids, but its nice to have one of each first, if you know what i mean? also, i struggled a lot when ben was born. i know everyone already knows all about it, the post-partum, ben's allergies and acid reflux, almost always crying in pain, not sleeping ever, and throwing up ALL THE TIME. everyone says baby's spit up a lot, but if you were to spend 5 minutes with ben you would have seen that it was much more than most babies. anyway, i am glad we got that all figured out, but it was a very hard 6 months until we did. i think when i found out it was a boy, i got scared. scared because at this point all i have to compare this baby to is how things went with ben. and in my mind, since ben was a boy, this boy will be the exact same experience. now i don't need anyone to tell me that it is ridiculous to think that. i already know that. i know every baby is totally different and this experience will not be identical to my first. and even if it is similar, i learned a lot through that and would handle it different this time. but its just how i felt at the moment. i was scared. i just had to be honest about how i was feeling. part of me thought that maybe if it were a girl, i wouldn't be as scared, because at least something about the experience would be different, if that makes any sense at all? i know, it's so silly. anyway, once i got over those feelings, the excitement set in. i am so excited for benny to have a little buddy! and there will be 4 grandsons, 2 1/2 years apart on my side! it will be so fun for them.<br />
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i feel like i let people down by not having a girl. that is even sillier than my above statement. but sooo many people were hoping for a girl since there haven't been any in quite a while in my extended family. but i know this is going to be so much fun. i think God knew that if i had a girl, i might in my mind feel like we could be done haha. so this is his way of insuring that we have at least one more child :) i am okay with that. i really do love being a mother. i feel like maybe i have not given off that vibe, because i tend to be really honest about the really hard times. that's just how i am though. i have to be honest about the good and the bad. it can be so hard at times. sometimes its harder more often than its amazing. but those amazing times make all the hard time worth it. i wouldn't change anything about this journey. and i do want more than two kids, just for the record haha. i know i say i would be good with two, but i think i just say that because i am scared of the unknown.<br />
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anyway, we went in for a gender ultrasound at 15 weeks and 5 days. when we went in for ben, right away i knew it was a boy. i saw that flash on the screen right at the beginning. there was no mistaking it. this baby was definitely not as open and flashy as ben. he was curled up in a ball almost the entire time. it made it really hard for us to really be able to see anything. when she finally got to the legs, to get that gender shot, it took a while. and for a few seconds there, you couldn't see anything in between the legs. that was basically the only moment in this pregnancy so far when i thought "wait, is this a girl??" i even said that. but the tech kept trying and said she thought she saw something in between the legs, and sure enough after some maneuvering she found the boy parts. they weren't the clearest, and she even went back at the end to double check. i mean there is no doubt it's a boy, but she definitely seemed more confident about ben being a boy. she said we would check again at the big 19 week scan. i feel pretty confident that nothing will change though.<br />
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it's so cool to me to finally know the gender. it makes it seem that much more real. calling it a he instead of it. i am excited to start feeling this little guy kick. i wonder if he will look like ben? i can't wait to meet him. i am scared to be a mother of two. and to be honest, it's not really even the newborn that scares me, it's just trying to give my attention to a newborn and a very active toddler that scares me. but people have been doing it for years and years and years obviously so i know i will figure it out :)<br />
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sorry, this post it all over the place! it's been a crazy week, and i guess i just needed to type it all out in a very chaotic mess of words. please excuse all the grammatical errors. in other news.....<br />
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last saturday sean hurt his back really bad. he was helping his brother move a compressor and his back just gave out. he has had back problems for a while, but this just was kind of the last straw. he couldn't move at all and an ambulance had to be called to get him to the hospital. after lots of steroids, pain medication, and muscle relaxers, he was finally able to sit up and go home. the x rays didn't show much so we were told he needed an MRI first thing on monday. that was a nightmare trying to get the insurance to pre-authorize it. i cried all day trying to get that taken care of but finally they pulled through last minute just as we were about to pay cash for it. which we will end up paying anyway, since we have a high deductible no HSA insurance plan. i won't get into that, but long story short, sean has a herniated disc that is pressing on a nerve. he will most likely have to have surgery, but we are waiting on a second opinion. he has basically just been lying in bed most of the week. not able to do much. he did got to work towards the end of the week and he is starting to feel a little better, but still very sore.<br />
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anyway. that was our week. very hard and very exciting :) we also celebrated moe's 5th birthday! i can't believe my first little baby is 5. it's so crazy to me how fast that went. i love my moses. even though he can drive me bonkers sometimes when he wakes up ben, i still love him. here are a few cute pictures of him and ben! love my boys!!<br />
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<a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/105650465@N06/16552577819/" title="Untitled by chloeroseashby, on Flickr"><img alt="Untitled" height="480" src="https://farm9.staticflickr.com/8663/16552577819_cdace02561_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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<a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/105650465@N06/16551294870/" title="Untitled by chloeroseashby, on Flickr"><img alt="Untitled" height="639" src="https://farm9.staticflickr.com/8582/16551294870_5cd4d3918c_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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<a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/105650465@N06/16737495541/" title="Untitled by chloeroseashby, on Flickr"><img alt="Untitled" height="637" src="https://farm9.staticflickr.com/8612/16737495541_02ecb80be2_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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<a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/105650465@N06/16519371280/" title="Love when I can capture a sweet moment like this. And in case you are wondering if we are going somewhere fancy today... We are not. Ben is into choosing his own clothes these days. He chose that shirt with some dark stretchy pajama jeans. He did have a b by chloeroseashby, on Flickr"><img alt="Love when I can capture a sweet moment like this. And in case you are wondering if we are going somewhere fancy today... We are not. Ben is into choosing his own clothes these days. He chose that shirt with some dark stretchy pajama jeans. He did have a b" height="640" src="https://farm9.staticflickr.com/8612/16519371280_b1f12fb06b_z.jpg" width="640" /></a>
chloéhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16302480746230810221noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2379540647242102687.post-57077523015352693192015-02-20T21:42:00.000-07:002015-02-20T21:48:03.458-07:00what?? an update?? <a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/105650465@N06/16288257337/" title="Our valentine this year.. ❤️💕 by chloeroseashby, on Flickr"><img alt="Our valentine this year.. ❤️💕" height="640" src="https://farm8.staticflickr.com/7370/16288257337_41bb9f4fe0_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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wow. it has been way way way too long since i have blogged. this is the longest i have ever gone without blogging! i post most everything on instagram now days. but i felt like i need to get back to blogging. even if i don't get every picture up, at least i can put updates about our life here.<br />
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yes it's true! baby #2 is on the way! we are very excited. i am 14 weeks today. this pregnancy so far has been very different from my first. i have been a lot sicker. with ben i got sick but it wasn't until almost the second trimester and it was basically only at night. with this pregnancy it hit me way earlier on. i also found out a lot sooner though. maybe i should start from the beginning!<br />
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in july i went off birth control. it took us almost 10 months to get pregnant with ben. that might not seem like long to some but when you decide you are ready, it's already too late. i had a feeling it might take us a while for baby #2 as well. i didn't go off birth control with the intention to get pregnant right away. i actually went off because i thought it would help the melasma i was dealing with. basically we weren't trying but we weren't preventing. my cycles were way out of whack. i would sometimes go 10 days between a period and sometimes 40. it was annoying and was never consistent. at the beginning of december, i just had this feeling one day. i knew i was pregnant. i had thought that so many times while trying to get pregnant with ben, but this time i just knew. i knew it was probably wayyyy too early to even get a positive. even with my cycles being so long sometimes i just had a feeling. even if it would have been a normal 28 day cycle it was still early. i asked my neighbor if she had any tests and she didn't so that day when sean got home from work i ran to walgreens and bought an early response test. i think sean thought i was crazy for testing. i have wasted SOOOOO much money on negative tests. anyway i snuck into the bathroom and took it. and it seemed to be negative. but after a few minutes i noticed a second pink line start to appear. it was very faint.<br />
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i kinda started to freak out. i came out of the bathroom and showed sean. this same thing happened with ben. we didn't believe the line. it was way too light. so sean ran back to walgreens for a digital one. and sure enough it said pregnant. we were in shock. if i am being honest i immediately felt so guilty. my sister in law had just lost her first baby at 8.5 weeks in october. i really wanted her to be pregnant before me. i felt bad. we didn't tell anyone for a few days. it also seems like the minute we found out ben got a lot harder. i was starting to doubt myself and if i could handle everything.<br />
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the day we found out i was 3 weeks and 3 days pregnant. with ben i didn't find out until i was almost 5 weeks. when i hit 5 weeks with this pregnancy i got incredibly sick. like i couldn't keep water down at all. i was so afraid that it was morning sickness but it turned out to be the stomach flu. thank goodness. that didn't stop the nausea though. i have definitely been a lot sicker this time and have thrown up a lot. especially at night. it seems like 5:00 hits and all the sudden i am so sick. i have had no energy and have been so tired all the time. i feel like i have no patience and a short temper. i had to go off of my anti-anxiety/depression medication so that probably didn't help things. i have gained weight a lot quicker too and thats been hard. i know i shouldn't complain though.. and i probably sound so ungrateful to be pregnant. but thats not the truth. i am excited. its been a slower growing excitement this time. i am soooo scared out of my mind. i am scared of getting post partum depression again. i am scared of having another challenging baby. but at the same time i feel like i learned a lot and i can handle more now. i guess we will see. i get more excited every day though and can't wait to meet this little guy or girl!<br />
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we find out in about a week and a half what the gender is. i am so excited! at 8 weeks we went to a fetal studio and paid $25 for a gender verification. we also got to hear the heartbeat. that was neat because my doctor doesn't see patients until at least 10 weeks and doesn't do ultrasounds until 19 weeks when they do the full body scan. unless you pay $25 for a gender check which we are doing at 16 weeks. here is our little Roo at 8 weeks! (the nickname for now!)<br />
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<a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/105650465@N06/16306743127/" title="Thank you for all the sweet comments about baby #2! We are very excited! And scared out of our minds. 😁 Haha. My doctor only does one ultrasound at 20 weeks unless you pay for a gender check at 16-18 weeks which we are doing in 3.5 weeks! We found a by chloeroseashby, on Flickr"><img alt="Thank you for all the sweet comments about baby #2! We are very excited! And scared out of our minds. 😁 Haha. My doctor only does one ultrasound at 20 weeks unless you pay for a gender check at 16-18 weeks which we are doing in 3.5 weeks! We found a " height="640" src="https://farm9.staticflickr.com/8623/16306743127_4054094e3f_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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not much to see but i am still glad we did it! it's so hard to believe that there is anything in there at the beginning. my pants definitely beg to differ on that though haha. i am hoping that now that i am out of the first trimester hopefully i start to feel better soon or at least get some energy back! i have been pretty hard on myself about it. i really am getting excited though and cant wait to see ben be a big brother!<br />
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speaking of ben... he just turned 2! i cant believe it.<br />
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<a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/105650465@N06/16277546960/" title="Happy birthday to my favorite little buddy. We have survived 2 years and I would say that is something to celebrate. You are the sweetest, funniest, craziest, most stubborn little person that I have ever met and I wouldn't change anything about you. Never by chloeroseashby, on Flickr"><img alt="Happy birthday to my favorite little buddy. We have survived 2 years and I would say that is something to celebrate. You are the sweetest, funniest, craziest, most stubborn little person that I have ever met and I wouldn't change anything about you. Never" height="640" src="https://farm8.staticflickr.com/7460/16277546960_1cbaf45954_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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<a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/105650465@N06/16381382867/" title="Those dark chocolate brown eyes and the one freckle on his face get me every time. 😍 #bennyblue by chloeroseashby, on Flickr"><img alt="Those dark chocolate brown eyes and the one freckle on his face get me every time. 😍 #bennyblue" height="640" src="https://farm8.staticflickr.com/7438/16381382867_e9404ea656_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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my little boy is growing up way too fast! he is all over the place and so much fun. he definitely is a handful and keeps us on our toes but he is the best thing to ever happen to us. he is starting to talk a lot more and it has been so fun. he has been a little behind on the whole english thing but he is getting there. my little cousins asked their mom if ben was speaking spanish haha. he is very smart and he talks all the time in his own little language. but now he is starting to say words and that is fun. his first real word was go. we were at the part and he was going down the slide and all the sudden he just said "GO!" as he went down. the next time he said "Set. Go!" and now he says that all the time. along with Dad, Mom, Moe, puppy, cookie, ball, milk, juice, shoes, jack, papa, mama (grandma). he says Ewee (for elliette) and K-ee for Katie. wawa (water), hi, bye, nigh nigh (good night), car..etc. he knows where all his body parts are. he is into picking out his own clothes lately. you have to give him options and let him pick. its so funny. he is so sweet and so hard at the same time. i love him so much though. he fights naps nowadays and doesn't go to bed as easily as he used to but he has been sleeping good and so that is nice. i am trying to enjoy the sleep while i can before we do the whole newborn thing again!<br />
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sean is doing great. he got a new job in august at rock canyon bank and it is going great. he loves it there but he did love his old job too. luckily he still does a lot of work with them and we were lucky enough to be able to still go on their cruise in november! we had soooo much fun. we left from puerto rico and went to Barbados, St. Lucia, St. Maarten, St. Thomas and.... shoot i forgot the 5th one. oh well i am hoping to post about that trip soon and i will remember eventually!<br />
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we have been painting our house and that has been quite the process. sean is such a saint and such a hard worker for doing this for me. i have been sick of the beige everything that we have for so long. we have the house halfway done and it is looking so good. i cant wait to have it all done.<br />
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overall life is going pretty good. we are very blessed and very lucky. we definitely have our hard days but that is life right? i am hoping to get back into blogging more regularly. i want to document this pregnancy like i did with bens and i want to blog about our trip! i am going to go to bed for now though! goodnight!!chloéhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16302480746230810221noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2379540647242102687.post-34359521409272422452014-02-06T21:56:00.001-07:002014-02-07T05:20:18.687-07:00to my almost one year old<br>
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/105650465@N06/12356388133/" title="G48A4588 by chloeroseashby, on Flickr"><img alt="G48A4588" src="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7337/12356388133_a2834246d8_z.jpg" height="427" width="640"></a>
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/105650465@N06/12356203725/" title="G48A4973 by chloeroseashby, on Flickr"><img alt="G48A4973" src="http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3765/12356203725_b2f3300f85_z.jpg" height="427" width="640"></a>
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these are just many of the many pictures from his cake smash photo shoot with his little girl friend elliette jane. she was born just 3 days before him! thanks maddie for the awesome pictures!</div>
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wow. i didn't plan on letting 4 months go by without blogging.. but here we are. i have been thinking all week about this post. it has been such a nostalgic week for me. exactly one year ago from this exact time we decided to head to the hospital because my contractions were 3-4 minutes apart. the pain had started to become unbearable. that last week of pregnancy felt like months. i know that sounds dramatic, but when you spend 9 months with a certain date in your head, and then that day goes by and nothing has happened yet? well time decides to slow down and every hour feels like a week.<br>
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anyway. yes. 1 year ago today i was in labor with my sweet benny blue. we didn't really know yet if that was going to be his name. but we knew we wanted to use blue somehow since that's what he had been called from the first weeks of my pregnancy. we got to the hospital around 9 pm and they would not admit me until i had dilated higher than a 2 even though my contractions were 1-2 minutes apart at that point. i don't ever remember being in so much pain. walking those hospital halls in a gown while holding on to sean trying to not scream through every contraction. it was without a doubt the most painful night of my life. i remember when they finally decided to admit me at midnight and how relieved i was. i was still in so much pain but so happy that i could finally get an epidural. my water broke on its own right after i got the epidural and we didn't expect to have a baby 4 hours later but we did.<br>
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at 4:26 am benjamin blue ashby made his entrance into the world and into our lives. and what a year it has been for us. i don't really even know how to explain how much he rocked our world. i feel like it will be best to just write him a letter so i will do that below.<br>
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dear benjamin blue,<br>
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i can't believe that tonight was the last night i gave a bath and put my sweet little 11 month old baby to bed. tomorrow when you wake up you will be one year old. you will basically be a toddler. not my little baby anymore. i can't even seem to find the words to explain how this makes me feel. there are so many emotions going through my heart right now.<br>
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benny, you are the best thing that has ever happened to your dad and i. you have done more for us than you will ever understand. at 1 years old you are walking and talking. you took your first steps on the day that you turned 11 months old. i wish you could have seen the look on your dads face when you took them. we were both so not prepared but both so excited that we both got to experience that "first" with you. we were so proud of you.<br>
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you still only have 2 teeth right now. your bottom front two. you are about 21 lbs. you have dark dark brown eyes. they look like chocolate almost and your hair matches them perfectly. your eyes twinkle when you smile. you are so busy. always on the go and you never sit still. you like to keep us on our toes but we wouldn't trade it for anything. you are a curious little boy and love to get into everything. i can see your little brain trying to figure out how everything works. you just have to know so you like to take things apart and put them back together. i can already tell that you are going to be very smart. you love to learn.<br>
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your favorite things to eat right now are hashbrowns and cinnamon graham crackers. you don't like vegetables that much so i have to sneak that in with your fruit. you are still drinking soy formula and doing so well on it. i have tried to give you some foods with dairy in it and you haven't had too bad of a reaction so i am hoping you are outgrowing that allergy.<br>
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you finally started to sleep good at night around 10 months old. you still have some bad nights but you are sleeping much better than you were, so we are too. and we love that and thank you for it.<br>
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you are quite the momma's boy. like.... a lot. it can be exhausting for me at times but i love it. you love your dad so much and moses is your absolute favorite thing in the world. you light up every time you see him. i am so glad that he is hear to watch you grow up and to play with you. he is so good to you and it makes me so happy.<br>
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benny, i didn't just write this letter to talk about your milestones. i want you to know how much you changed our lives. please don't take this the wrong way... but this last year with you? it has been the hardest year of our lives. there were nights when i honestly thought that i could not last another day. tears were shed from every member of this family on multiple occasions. there was a lot of guilt on my part when i made the decision to stop nursing you. you hated it and we both cried through it every time. there were even more tears shed when i decided to stop pumping. i can't even tell you how much guilt i felt and how i still feel guilty that i stopped. but then i see your happy smiling face now, and i know i made the right choice. you were happier when i was happier. i was happier when you felt better.<br>
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the first 6 months of your life were very hard. we didn't know what was wrong with you and we spent a lot of time trying to figure it out. we finally found out at 6 months that you were allergic to cows milk protein and once we figured that out you were an entirely different baby. i am so sorry it took us so long to find out. i promise i tried everything and did so much research. i took you to so many doctors and so many tests were ran. please know that i tried everything. i just wanted to see you happy. i knew there was a happy baby in there somewhere. and boy was i right.<br>
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you have the power to light up a room, ben. your personality is so much fun. your laugh is infectious and it honestly makes me so happy. it makes me forget any pain or sadness i am feeling. i love to hear it more than anything. you are a very special little boy. you are going to change the world. i just know it. you are so strong and i know that you are going to be a leader. just like your daddy. i hope you end up just like him. he is a smart, kind, loyal man. he is such a hardworker. and i can already tell that you are going to be a lot like him.<br>
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you have taught us a lot this past year benny. you have taught me a lot about myself. you forced me to see parts of myself that i did not like. parts that i needed to change. you taught me how to grow up. you taught me how to depend on people more, but to also trust myself and depend on myself more. you taught me that i was stronger than i realized. but also weaker than i realized. you taught me to see the world in a different way. a way that i needed to start seeing it.<br>
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so yes, this last year was hard. so hard. people warned us how hard it would be. and we believed them... and we knew it. but we didn't realize that it was going to be <b>way harder</b> than we expected. people also told us that it would be amazing. but we didn't realize that it was going to be <b>way more amazing</b> than we expected. it was way better than we ever could have imagined. you are the best thing that ever happened to us. and i can't believe it has only been a year. we look forward to so many more amazing years with you. we are so happy you are in our family.<br>
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just as i was typing this up, you started to cry in your sleep. you didn't finish your bottle before bed, so i had a feeling you would wake up hungry shortly after going to bed. i am actually glad that you did, because i got to go up there and hold you one last time before you turn one year. i got to feed you one last time and kiss you one last time before you are not my little baby anymore. don't get me wrong, you will always be my baby obviously. but it's just a bittersweet feeling that i am feeling. as i sat there in the chair, feeding you, kissing your head.. i started to cry. i realized that the reason this is a sad time for me is because the older you get, the more you will see how scary this world is. the world is such a scary place right now. and i know it is only going to get harder to live in the older that you get. i wish i could protect you from all the evil and scary stuff in this world. i know that i can't. but i wish that i could.<br>
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i know the world is a scary place. and i hope that you will always be smart and make wise choices. but i also hope you know that there are good people out there. people that want to make the world better. i hope that you try to seek out those people. i know that you will be one of them. you can be a stubborn, feisty little boy.. but i hope you use that for good. i have always felt like those people are the strongest. they change the world. i am already so proud of the man that i know you are going to become. please know that your mom can be a little dramatic and emotional. i give you permission to laugh at me when you read this and actually understand it.<br>
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i guess i better wrap this up here. benny, i hope you never ever forget how loved you are. your parents are no where near perfect. not even close. but we love you. we love you so much that it physically hurts. i hope you never forget that. thank you for the hardest, but by far the best year of our lives. i hope we can spend the rest of your life making you as happy as you have made us.<br>
<br>i think one of the reasons that I'm so emotional is that today marks 1 year that we made it through one of the hardest years we have ever had. we did it even though it was hard. one of our family mottos since your dad and I's engagement is that we can do hard things. I hope you never forget that you can do hard things. they will make you stronger in the end. they will give your life purpose. they will make your life worth it.<br><br>
happy birthday my sweet little benny bear.<br>
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love mom<br>
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<br>chloéhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16302480746230810221noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2379540647242102687.post-26810920712878812422013-10-27T21:40:00.001-06:002013-10-27T21:40:18.196-06:00| Benny Blue | months 6-8<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/105650465@N06/10528443883/" title="Untitled by chloeroseashby, on Flickr"><img alt="Untitled" height="640" src="http://farm6.staticflickr.com/5517/10528443883_3d8ef45db9_z.jpg" width="640" /></a>
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i am really sad that i got so behind on benny's monthly updates. life has just been crazy the past few months and it never seems to slow down. i figured i better just get on here real quick and post about the past few months with ben before i forget. sadly, these past few months have been the most exciting and i have failed to document it!<br />
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so i will just start with what i can think of!<br />
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- i think i last mentioned that benny was for sure allergic to cows milk protein. he is on a soy formula now and doing great. he rarely spits up now. i mean maybe once or twice a week now? it's amazing. we had him on enfamil prosobee because it was the lightest color and didn't stain. once we realized that he wasn't spitting up at all we tried the target up & up brand and he has been doing amazing. it is A LOT cheaper and we get a lot more per can. so that has been amazing.<br />
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-he is on no reflux meds. wahoo!<br />
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-he had to go to instacare today. he weighs 19 lbs 5 oz. we also found out he has croup and another ear infection. which is another thing i missed in his monthly updates, but this is now his 2nd ear infection.<br />
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-and that leads me to us finding out that benny is allergic to amoxicillin just like his momma! he got hives all over on the last day of taking it. poor guy.<br />
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-benny has 2 teeth now! the first one came on the bottom right 1 week after his ear infection and the one right next it came about a week later.<br />
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-benny drinks about 4, 6-7 oz bottles a day. about every 4 hours.<br />
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-he has 2-3 servings of solids a day.. whether that be fruit, veggie, oatmeal etc. he also snacks on multigrain cheerios and puffs. he loves multigrain cheerios! and tortillas. i wish he didn't have his milk allergy because i am sure he would love dairy.<br />
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-he takes 2 naps a day. usually one around 9-10 and one around 2-3. they usually last anywhere from an hour to 2 1/2 hours.<br />
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-he takes a bath around 7 and usually is in bed by 8.<br />
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-he has not slept great at all these last few months. he slept better as a newborn. in fact i can't even remember the last time he slept through the night without making a peep. i took him to the dr. 2 weeks ago to make sure he didn't have another ear infection and they said he looked great and that we were probably okay to just let him cry it out. so we have been doing that. well, he still wakes up. we can't prevent that.. but he is crying for shorter periods of time and seems to do it less. we also aren't feeding him anymore when he does and now he is eating more in the day which is good. now that he is sick again sleep has gone out the window.. but oh well :)<br />
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-benny is crawling! he started to sit on his own at 5 and a half months and at 7 months he started to scoot! he started crawling at about 7 and a half and is now all over the place. he pulls himself up to stand and gets into everything. he has knocked over moe's water bowl several times.<br />
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-he is wearing anything from 6m-12m in clothes, size 3 diapers in the day and size 4 at night.<br />
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-he loves to watch mickey mouse clubhouse. the hotdog song is his favorite. he also likes jake and the neverland pirates.<br />
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-he is way more interested in cords and things he shouldn't be playing with vs. his toys.<br />
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-he has had quite a few haircuts. one professional and the rest by me. it's a disaster right now and he needs another one!<br />
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-he went to lagoon last week for his first time! it was freezing and late but he was such a trooper. he has gotten so much easier to take places. we also went to gardner village and it was a blast. he is so much fun.<br />
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-since it is not halloween yet, i won't post his costume yet, but we have some pictures. i want to take some with my real camera on halloween! he is so cute.<br />
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-benny is quite the momma's boy. he sure loves his dad but he is getting separation anxiety when i am not holding him. i really don't mind it though. he is my little buddy. he also doesn't love it when i hold other babies. funny boy.<br />
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-benny loves fruit. not so much a fan of veggies so we usually have to mix them with fruit but he will eat sweet potatoes, pumpkin, and squash. not so much the green stuff. bananas are his favorite. or at least i think.<br />
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-we got a new car after chuck (the honda) got totalled. benny now seems to like driving in the car a lot more. and so do i!<br />
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-he still loves animals so much. moses is his best buddy. they are so cute together.<br />
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we sure love our benny blue. i can't even seem to find the words to express how much i love him. he has changed our lives in every way possible. it is so much harder. but it is a million times better. i love being his mom. i love seeing the world through his eyes. it has changed me for the better. he is such a happy boy and such a sweetheart. he means the world to me. also, i know it seems like i don't post much, but i upload everything that i post on instagram to tumblr, so i feel like in a way i am still documenting A LOT of his life. i am going to try and not beat myself up about it that i don't blog about it as much. my tumblr is like a daily blog in a way. so yeah. :)<br />
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i have a lot to catch up on, like my trip to D.C. and some other things. i will someday get to that. maybe. but for now i am just enjoying spending my days with benny.chloéhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16302480746230810221noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2379540647242102687.post-47285593016296658342013-10-16T14:34:00.000-06:002013-10-16T14:34:21.237-06:00we love fall.<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/105650465@N06/10316433825/" title="Untitled by chloeroseashby, on Flickr"><img alt="Untitled" height="480" src="http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3738/10316433825_580cce0f88_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/105650465@N06/10316139436/" title="Untitled by chloeroseashby, on Flickr"><img alt="Untitled" height="640" src="http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3779/10316139436_7948807c69_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/105650465@N06/10316146176/" title="Untitled by chloeroseashby, on Flickr"><img alt="Untitled" height="640" src="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7335/10316146176_63ebd9c42d_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/105650465@N06/10316431065/" title="Untitled by chloeroseashby, on Flickr"><img alt="Untitled" height="480" src="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7312/10316431065_9cbac3544f_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/105650465@N06/10316406594/" title="Untitled by chloeroseashby, on Flickr"><img alt="Untitled" height="480" src="http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3679/10316406594_5d703a5f31_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/105650465@N06/10316402644/" title="Untitled by chloeroseashby, on Flickr"><img alt="Untitled" height="480" src="http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3818/10316402644_4c16119bf3_z.jpg" width="640" /></a> man it has been too long since i last updated. i am sad because i really wanted to stick with monthly updates of ben. but things just got so crazy. i am really going to try and just keep going and start again now. we might have missed a few months, but i will do an 8 month update soon! so much has happened in the past few months with ben. he is growing up so fast! i just wanted to stop in and say hello and post a few recent pictures of us doing some fall activities with ben. the holidays are so much fun with a baby! we went to the pumpkin patch near our house last week after suffering through a couple weeks of sickness. ben picked out a little pumpkin and we snapped a few pictures. ben and i also went up to gardner village with my friend juli and her little girl elliette. she is 3 days older than ben. we had so much fun up there. we ate at archilbalds and i tried the famous fried green tomatoes. they were so good! i can't wait to go back! i don't have time to say much more now, but i promise i will update more later! chloéhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16302480746230810221noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2379540647242102687.post-10115606037374316292013-08-11T15:24:00.001-06:002013-08-11T15:24:59.999-06:00f a m i l y | r e u n i o n .<a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt=" photo 126b0caa-d0f4-4d8c-8d68-fb8c8d335703_zpsd4610851.jpg" border="0" src="http://i1029.photobucket.com/albums/y354/chloeroseashby/baby%20ashby/126b0caa-d0f4-4d8c-8d68-fb8c8d335703_zpsd4610851.jpg" /></a>
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yesterday we went up to big cottonwood canyon for a family reunion! it was for my grandma's family on my dad's side. i never got to meet my grandma, since she passed away when my dad was 5, but it's nice to be able to meet some of the people who knew her best. it was beautiful up there! we didn't spend the night and camp with everyone though. it's a little hard with the babies and my family isn't exactly known for camping, but we roasted hot dogs and marshmallows and ate lots of food. the babies did pretty good but were pretty tired by the end of the night. we got to ride up in my parents brand new toyota avalon. it is so nice! sean has been sick, so he was a trooper for coming up with us. i love my family! also, can i just say how much easier it is to take ben out and about now that he is feeling better and isn't throwing up all the time? it has been so nice. sean and i feel so much relief and are really starting to enjoy this much more. it's still not easy, but the smaller amounts of puke and the happier baby really do make a difference.<br />
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today we have just been taking it easy since sean is not feeling well. ben has decided that his new wake up time for the day is 5 am. i havent' been loving it.. but he has been waking up less in the middle of the night, so it's hard to complain too much. he seems to be pretty temperamental about his body temperature. a few weeks ago we figured out he was waking up all the time because he was too hot and feverish. we kept dressing him lightly and added a ceiling fan to his room and he did well but then started waking up all the time again. we put him back in regular pajamas and a warmer blanket and he seems to be sleeping better. oh babies. i just wish they could talk and tell us what they need! he took a 3 hour nap today that i ended up waking him up from. he is a pretty good napper so i can't complain. i just wish he slept in a little! i am so not a morning person. anyway, we have a roast cooking in the crockpot and are just taking it easy for the rest of the day. we both have a busy week ahead of us. hope everyone has a great sunday!chloéhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16302480746230810221noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2379540647242102687.post-73192573792637246372013-08-09T15:46:00.003-06:002013-08-09T15:49:09.298-06:00h a p p y .<a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt=" photo 93537c93-22a4-4cc4-82a6-4bcfaa70f6ea_zps71ebc9cd.jpg" border="0" src="http://i1029.photobucket.com/albums/y354/chloeroseashby/baby%20ashby/93537c93-22a4-4cc4-82a6-4bcfaa70f6ea_zps71ebc9cd.jpg" /></a><br />
<a href="http://photobucket.com/" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img alt=" photo 0bf501d1-b3b4-4033-9a86-e7303ebf9dfe_zpsfb40dda1.jpg" border="0" src="http://i1029.photobucket.com/albums/y354/chloeroseashby/baby%20ashby/0bf501d1-b3b4-4033-9a86-e7303ebf9dfe_zpsfb40dda1.jpg" /></a>these pictures are from our softball game last night. i love that we are both playing again. it's fun to have something that we do together. ben loves his daddy. i love these boys. they are my whole world. today was a really good day with ben. he slept pretty good last night finally.. he woke up once at 2:30 but went right back to sleep after i gave him his pacifier. i will ignore the fact that he woke up at 5:30 since he took an awesome morning nap later.. he talked to himself until 6:15 and then i finally got up with him. he was so happy after a 2 hour nap and i was as well because i slept the entire time. we went to target later and i pushed him around in the cart really fast and made noises like a race car and he laughed so hard. he smiled the entire time. i had to write this down because i know i too often focus on the negative things and the hard days. today i had a fun day being a mom. i want to remember this day.chloéhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16302480746230810221noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2379540647242102687.post-75843717645162606262013-08-06T22:54:00.000-06:002013-08-06T22:56:28.562-06:00little life update.<a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt=" photo d8aaf87d-c6a5-4efb-b32a-f95647ed0697_zps0e27f4df.jpg" border="0" src="http://i1029.photobucket.com/albums/y354/chloeroseashby/baby%20ashby/d8aaf87d-c6a5-4efb-b32a-f95647ed0697_zps0e27f4df.jpg" /></a>
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6 months ago from this exact minute i was walking the halls of the hospital with sean. moaning in so much pain. having intense contractions that were 2 minutes apart but not making any progress. i literally felt like my hips and back were going to break in half. it was the most painful night of my life. and it has been a painful 6 months if i am being completely honest. i have always promised i would be real and open on here. but on that note, if i am being completely honest, he has brought me more joy than i ever thought possible. i love being his mom. he is the happiest, saddest baby in the whole world, haha. i tell people that he is kind of bipolar. he is very dramatic in his emotions. which is hard when he is unhappy, but when he is happy? gosh, it sure is amazing. his smile is infectious.<br />
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i plan to write a 6 month post eventually, but he doesn't have his 6 month appointment for a couple more weeks. i will probably still write it and just update after i get some stats on him. we have confirmed finally that he is definitely allergic to milk. had i known he wasn't just intolerant to it, but actually allergic, i might have tried to keep pumping. but let's be honest, completely cutting dairy out of my diet would probably be impossible. i am sad it took 6 months to learn all this but i am happy we finally know. i know it's not like the worst thing in the world. i am not trying to be dramatic about it. it was just hard for us to diagnose because he really does still have acid reflux. he is now on soy again, but this time a soy that he seems to tolerate. he is drinking double what he used to just within a matter of days. it is pretty neat to see. so many people have commented lately on how happy he is. when we go to church he usually screams and cries the whole time. this last week? we could not get him to stop smiling and laughing. it was such a sweet change. i know there is a happy baby in there. it has been nice getting to see more of him these past few days. he still is very dramatic when he is unhappy, but that's okay. he has quite the personality and i can tell he is going to be quite the social butterfly.<br />
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sean and i are doing great! sean is just working like crazy and i have been working a few hours each day this week. i have been answering phones while the receptionist is on vacation. i am going to go back to work 2 days a week and then on 2 of the days that i am not working, i will be watching my nephew jack! his mom sarah will be watching ben on the days that i work. it's a nice little trade off and a win win for us both! we both get to know our nephews better and make some extra cash!<br />
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we have been toying with the idea of selling our house and moving closer to orem. property values have gone up quite a bit in our neighborhood and we have had lots of people on our street make some good money by selling. we aren't sure that this is the right time for us, but we also like the idea of making some money off this house. we never planned on living here forever. we will most likely stick around, but it is nice to know that we can sell if we need to! we love living in this neighborhood. we love this ward. i just wish we could move it closer to orem!<br />
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let's see.. what else is new? oh yes! i almost forgot! i am going to washington D.C. in a month! i am so excited! i have never been! my friend juli has rheumatoid arthritis and has been selected to go speak to congress about it! she just had a baby 3 days before ben but she invited me to go along with her for a girls trip! i booked my flight today. i am so excited. we will be there for 5 days. just her and i! we have lots of fun things planned! she has been before so she knows the ropes. i got a great deal on a flight and her friend hooked us up with a deal on a hotel! 2 of our nights are free thanks to her for getting selected to speak, but we decided we might as well stay a few extra days and make it worth it! i will miss ben and sean so much, but it will be nice to get away and to possibly get some sleep. i have such a sweet husband for letting me go do this.<br />
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that is about all that is new with us right now! i haven't updated on all of us in a while so i thought it was time. this blog has turned into benny's blog :) that's okay though. he is pretty darn cute! also, it seems like all i do in my free time is play around with this blog layout. just like old times. i will admit it has been nice to get my mind off things and it has given me something to do this week at work while i answer phones. i better get to bed though! ben will probably wake up soon haha. good night!chloéhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16302480746230810221noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2379540647242102687.post-47916045293572763362013-07-24T00:49:00.001-06:002013-07-25T10:03:00.146-06:00because i can't sleep<br />
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this<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969);"> boy is my whole world. i should be sleeping but instead i'm changing my blog layout once again and looking at pictures of him and thinking about the future and some big decisions we need to make. i have problems. i can't help it though. that smile makes all of my worries go away. we sure love you mr. benjamin blue. also, i received some sweet emails after my last post. thank you so much. you know who you are :)</span></div>
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i have a private blog titled march thirteenth that i have been writing on for a few years. i decided i want to move that name to this blog. so if you are confused that is the explanation. also i am posting from my phone so this probably looks silly. oh well. goodnight!</div>
chloéhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16302480746230810221noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2379540647242102687.post-76193358921358637762013-07-15T00:18:00.000-06:002013-07-15T22:09:48.217-06:00becoming a mother.<a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt=" photo d5efebc5-aaa9-455f-b241-13075e91aec2_zpsef2e8a56.jpg" border="0" src="http://i1029.photobucket.com/albums/y354/chloeroseashby/baby%20ashby/d5efebc5-aaa9-455f-b241-13075e91aec2_zpsef2e8a56.jpg" /></a>
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sigh. it's about to get somewhat deep here. i decided if i have time to change my blog layout around then i probably have time to write a few thoughts down.<br />
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it's the hardest thing i have ever done in my entire life. becoming a mother. don't get me wrong, i knew it was going to be incredibly hard. i believed everyone. i didn't go into this with some naive attitude. it's why sean and i didn't immediately jump on the baby band wagon when we first got married. we had a plan and we wanted to make sure that financially we were ready to have children. we started a separate savings account to pay for a baby when the time came. we got sean through school, we paid off all car loans, credit card debts, student loans, and any other debts besides our home. we paid down our mortgage and got our interest rate as low as possible so that we could make it as easy as possible to live off of one income. we were ready. at least financially. we still knew that it was going to be hard. we knew there would be lots of sleepless nights. we knew there would be puke, and poop, and pee, and fits, and all that crap people like to remind you of when you are sick of being pregnant.<br />
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so anyway, i finally got pregnant after what seemed like a long time of trying. and i didn't love being pregnant. i just wanted ben to come because i wanted to feel like myself again. little did i know that when he came, i would never feel like myself again. the night ben was born was the most painful, but beautiful night of my life. and i realize now that was the last night that i felt like i knew who i was. or so i thought.<br />
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life with ben has not been easy. i will not lie. i don't know if something is wrong with me, but i can honestly say that i have not enjoyed every minute of it. and then admitting that has made me feel incredibly guilty. i know how lucky i am to be a mother. i love ben so incredibly much that it hurts my bones. but it has been the hardest thing that i have ever done. i have been through some pretty awful things. things that i thought i would never ever come out on top of. things that i have not even talked about before to my closest friends and family before. but this by far has been the hardest.<br />
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i don't know who i am anymore. it's an interesting feeling. because to be honest, i didn't think that i knew who i was before this. i don't know if i will ever know who i am. but my son ben has taught me so much in his short 5 months here. he has struggled with quite a few things in his life so far. it hasn't been easy for any of us. those moments of snuggles and smiles and kisses and all that jazz that all these people rave about have been very rare for us. but when they do happen? i start to feel like i know who i am. i start to feel like me again. i have never been more sad and more happy in my entire life.<br />
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i realize now why i don't know who i am anymore. the day ben was born i gave my entire heart to him and sean. my little family. which brought on lots of anxiety. and lots of worry. lots of tears. way too many tears. i didn't realize how selfish i was before having him. and not that i am some perfect person now. because if anything, becoming a mother to ben has made me lose any self confidence that i had before. i have never felt like more of a failure in my entire life. i know it is sad to admit that. but hear me out.<br />
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i was trying to explain this to sean the other night. i went from working full time since i was 16 years old to this. i used to get validation by getting that paycheck every two weeks. it's what got me through the days in a sense. i used to get satisfaction in hearing from a boss, "what a job well done!" now i don't get to clock out and go home for the weekend. i don't get to collect that paycheck at the end of the week. i don't get that pat on the back from my boss (ben) telling me that i am doing a good job.<br />
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instead i am left in tears because my son projectile pukes on me over 60 times a day on a good day. he kicks his legs and scratches me and screams in fits because he is hurting inside and i can't fix it. i can't clock out at the end of the day and go home and forget the bad days. i don't get that bonus at the end of the month for working my ass off.<br />
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i am stuck here trying to help my son in anyway possible. i have done research upon research. i have gone to doctors upon doctors. i am determined to somehow get that pat on the back from my son when he finally realizes that i have done a good job. i can't give up.<br />
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but then i remember that was the old me. the selfish me. i don't need that to feel good about myself. i am not missing anything like i thought i was. i have everything i ever wanted. i am so blessed beyond measure. i have complained way too much about how hard this has been. when deep down i know it could have been harder.<br />
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at first i was angry with god. why did he send me such a challenging baby? he had to have known that i couldn't handle it. but deep down i know he wouldn't send me something i couldn't handle. ben is not a challenge. he is a gift and a lesson that was sent to me. sent to me to teach me how to give more than just my heart to him. he already has that. and maybe that is why it hurts so much.<br />
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i now understand why it hurt my parents so much to see me sad. i didn't understand that before, even if i thought i did. ben is only 5 months old and i am terrified for the rest of our lives. how am i going to handle the harder stuff?<br />
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but then i have to stop. i have to think about all the incredible, amazing things that are going to happen. like watching ben take his first steps. seeing him ride a bike for the first time. watching him hit his first baseball and go to his first school dance. and that kind of stuff hurts my heart. in the good way. in the way that makes this all worth it.<br />
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i know these days of puking and crying will pass. people like to remind me of that, and i already know it. what people don't often know is that i have and am struggling with finding myself again. it's not always about how hard ben is. it's those hormones, and the post partum depression. if there is anything i have learned from becoming a mother, it's that every baby, mom, and situation is different. and i can't compare mine to others. some people could handle a situation like this better than me. i already know that. some people get easy, calm babies that sleep through the night the day they are born. some people get babies that never cry unless they are hungry. i struggle to get my baby to eat period. and it frustrates me. and i get down on myself a lot about it. i am afraid to let people watch my baby. not because i am afraid to be away from him for one second. it's because i am afraid for some stupid reason that they will see how upset he is and it will reflect poorly on me as a mother. and i know that is ridiculous. who is putting these thoughts into my head?<br />
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a lot of times i just have to tell people i am doing great and it was a good day. when the truth is i cried on the floor for while holding onto my dog for an hour while ben was napping. but really, for the most part, most people know this hasn't been easy for me.<br />
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but i wouldn't change it for anything. as hard as it has been, and for how hard i know it is still going to be? it is still the most amazing thing that has happened to me. i know i will get through this and become stronger. so many people have helped me get through this. and i know i am not alone even though i feel it often. i love my little family so much. my husband is my best friend. i love him more than he will ever understand. we are different, and we do argue sometimes. but somehow we work. and we have worked hard to have the kind of marriage that we have. and it still needs work some days but the great thing about that is we are still learning so much from each other everyday. i love my sweet dog moses. he has helped save me and helped me heal in so many ways. and my son is so special. he was sent to me for a reason. he already has my heart. and that is why it hurts. it hurts in a good way. i just didn't understand what that meant until he came.<br />
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so yes. i complain. yes, this has been hard. yes, this has been no secret to anyone. i don't know who i am anymore, yes. that is true. but i am not sure if i liked who i was before this anyway. my son has given me a chance to change that. it's almost like the day he was born, i was given a second chance. this whole time i have been living in fear of letting him down. because i haven't gotten that validation from him that i am doing a good job. but i think that is part of this whole journey. learning to accept those things that we can't control. to stop looking for that validation that a 5 month old isn't capable of giving. i am learning to accept that. ben just needs me to love him. and i can promise you i will never let him down on that.<br />
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<br />chloéhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16302480746230810221noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2379540647242102687.post-54148338227829758922013-07-11T21:41:00.002-06:002013-07-11T21:43:03.575-06:005 months<a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt=" photo DSC03679_zps22a1faaf.jpg" border="0" src="http://i1029.photobucket.com/albums/y354/chloeroseashby/Benjamin/DSC03679_zps22a1faaf.jpg" /></a>
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wow. 5 months already. i know i am going to say that every month, but i still can't believe it. it's been a hard month. ben has been through a lot. we have all been through a lot. last week sean went to wyoming with his dad and i honestly felt like it was the first week all over again. for some reason ben decided he didn't want to sleep good anymore. or so i thought. now i see that he had been getting sick this whole time and we were bundling him too tightly at night and he was too hot. he kept waking up. also i am sure his throat hurt and laying flat was causing him sinus pressure. anyway, now that we know he has a cold and has been feverish, we have dressed him in a onesie and a light swaddle and put him at an incline with a fan right next to him. thank goodness for the rock and play. i kind of feel like we back tracked since he has been in his crib for a couple of months now, but maybe when he starts feeling better we will try the crib again. i could ramble on forever so i will try to just give some 5 month stats:<br />
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- these pictures are blurry because ben officially does not hold still and he grabs anything he can get his hands on. hence the first picture that looks like he took it of himself haha. he is always grabbing anything i am holding.<br />
- he weighs 15lbs 12 oz.<br />
- not sure how long he is right now but i know he is tall for his age still. he is quite a bit taller than my friends babies that are the same age.<br />
- not sleeping as good as he was but before all the sleep problems started a week ago he was occasionally sleeping through the night. i will never ever take those nights for granted again. even him sleeping til 4 am now makes me giddy inside. it's the little things haha.<br />
- he goes to bed around 8. he takes 3 naps a day. has to be swaddled for them but he goes right down as long as he also has his lumineers playing on the ipad and a fan near his face. he naps in the morning around 8-9, again around 12-1, and 3-4. it depends on the day when those start because he always wakes up at different times. he sleeps for about an hour and a half each. sometime his morning nap is longer though and then he takes shorter naps the rest of the day.<br />
- i think another reason he wasn't sleeping good in his crib is because he can roll over now.. and since he is swaddled he gets stuck and can't turn back over. he can't roll over in the rock and play so i do think that is why he is sleeping better these past few nights. i don't know how i am going to wean him from the swaddle. i have tried to stop but he just sobs. it is the saddest thing. it's not his normal, screaming cry. it's like a sad, quiet, sob. like he is so scared and doesn't feel safe. it broke my heart. i have heard of this pajama outfit called the zipadee that supposedly was invented to help wean from swaddling. i will have to try that. funny how the only thing that could get him to sleep when he was a newborn is now becoming the reason he keeps waking up at night? sigh.<br />
- he is drinking about 5 oz every 3-4 hours. since he has been sick though he only wants 3-4oz. if even that. i hope he gets his appetite back soon.<br />
- this leads me to a whole other thing... but i will put that story at the end because it will be long and i am sure no one cares to read all this anyway. it's for my own personal record.<br />
- he loves moses more than anything in this world. i am not even joking. he gets so excited every time that he sees him. the other night he was screaming during his bath. since he has been sick and had a cold he has hated bath time. he screams through the whole thing. i got him out last night and called for moe. ben immediately lit up. got the biggest smile on his face and started laughing. we chased moe around the house and ben was giggling harder than he ever has. it immediately made him stop crying. he loves to pet him and be near him. i think he loves all animals but none so far have made him light up the way moses does. i love it.<br />
- has been swimming and loves it. i think he mostly just loves watching all the other kids.<br />
- loves his jumparoo.<br />
- always wants to be standing. i think this kid will walk before he crawls. he gets angry if you don't let him stand. which makes it a lot messier when he pukes. lets just say a lot of laps have been soiled because of him.<br />
- he is now on 1 full tablet of prevacid a day and 1.5 mL of zantac twice a day. prevacid is not cheap. sadly our insurance only covers like $100 of it and it retails at $313. yeah. its like $10 a pill and more than half the time he vomits right after taking it. it's awful. we thought once we hit ben's prescription deductible of $500 that they would pay 80%. but prevacid is a tier 3 drug and so they only pay half. so i guess yeah.. it's less now. but still $150 a month. and it doesn't seem to be working.. but i will once again talk about this at the end.<br />
- hates, hates, hates the car now. it's sad. he used to like it but i think it is just too hot right now in utah for him to enjoy being in the car. i have hooked up my ipad so he can watch movies but it only helps for so long. poor kid. i constantly have to reach my hand back there and hold his so he will calm down.<br />
- still hates church. but we did have a week or two that we made it for all 3 hours and he wasn't too bad.<br />
- has tried peaches and sweet potatoes. loved them both but puked them up. we decided orange puke wasn't that fun and so we are going to hold off a little longer on solids since he has so many issues already.<br />
- scratches himself all the time. we can't keep his nails short enough.<br />
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we sure do love our benny. it has not been the easiest 5 months. i know i probably sound like i am miserable. and to be honest? a lot of times i am. but benny's smile makes it all worth it. i love being his mom. he isn't happy a lot.. but when he is? gosh.. it's amazing. he is such a sweet heart. and i know if he felt better he would be so much happier. which leads me to what happened today and why i left out some info in his stats...be prepared for a long post. <b>stop now if you don't care about baby puke! just had to warn you..</b><br />
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since i stopped nursing ben because his reflux was out of control, he has only been on gentle formulas. he was so sensitive to everything that i ate, and was colicky, so we knew we had to put him on something sensitive. he started out on enfamil gentlease, which he did pretty good on but still spit up a ton. i know people say all babies spit up.. and everyone always tells me their kid spit up all the time too.. but i promise you if you spend a day with Ben you would be surprised at the amount he vomits.<br />
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anyway, enfamil is pretty expensive so we tried a Sam's Club generic of the enfamil gentlease. he did pretty good on that but it had a more yellow tint to the formula and was pretty foamy. with him spitting up all the time it stained everything more. it was so much cheaper but it still didn't solve any of his problems. we tried enfamil AR because it has added rice starch that is supposed to be thicker and help them keep more down. it just seemed like too much for him since you have to use faster flow nipples with that and he would gag and choke on it. we tried a generic similac sensitive and he puked more than ever and it was yellow and stained stuff and was chunky. we also tried similac alimentum which is for cow protein sensitivity but he absolutely hates the taste and won't drink more than an ounce. i was talking with my cousin about this who is a newborn dietician. she told me to try gerber good start gentle, because it digests quicker and supposedly they keep more down. i had a can that was given to me, so we tried it and he did pretty good on it. he started to gain more weight and seemed to really like the taste. he still spit up a ton though. this seemed to be the most sensitive on his tummy though as far as gas and other things go. other formulas seemed to make him more constipated and this one keeps him pretty regular.<br />
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anyway, he had been on this for a while and we just learned to deal with his reflux. we went to visit my grandparents in torrey and didn't have time to get ben's prevacid refilled. we decided since it didn't really work anyway, to just try and see how he did without it and just on the zantac. he did awful. he spit up more than ever and his spit up was way more acidic and chunky and he was miserable. we immediately came back and refilled his prescription but it seems like we could never get on top of things again and his reflux was worse than ever. he was having less wet and dirty diapers and i started to worry. i made an appointment with the doctor and just sitting in the waiting room he vomited 11 times in 15 minutes. this was a regular thing for me though. she told us to increase his prevacid to a full tablet and increase his zantac. also she wanted us to go in for an ultrasound to check for pyloric stenosis. turns out he doesn't have that and the ultrasound tech could even see his gerber formula digesting during the ultrasound. so we know it was going to his stomach.<br />
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not that we wanted him to have this problem, but a quick surgery would have fixed it and he would have immediately been better. so we toughed it out and just decided we had to wait this out. we did take him into the chiropractor twice and his back was out of alignment. he got adjusted and the first time it didn't seem to make a difference but the second time seemed to help a little more. he now has periods of the day where he hardly spits up but then some periods through out the day are still incredibly bad. like he throws up 10-15 times an hour.<br />
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it's been so frustrating. we aren't really being taken that seriously because he is gaining weight. he is not the biggest baby in the world but he also isn't the happiest. i just know something isn't right but we can't get into a pediatric gastroentologist for 4 months. thats how long the wait is. it's super frustrating.<br />
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anyway, let me get to the point of this. since his medicine is so expensive and he isn't really a newborn anymore and his stomach has probably matured a little, we thought we might just try to switch him to a generic regular formula. we just kind of thought that maybe he didn't need to be on the gentle stuff because he will puke it up anyway. costco sells tubs of it for $16. we got a membership at sam's club just so we could purchase the gerber good start gentle there. it's the place that you get the biggest amount for the cheapest. it is still $28 for 36 oz though.<br />
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my friend juli had a baby girl 3 days before me. her baby is on the costco brand and does great. it's just a regular formula, similar to Similac Advance or Enfamil Premium. i told her that i was thinking of just trying it out and she told me i could try some of hers before buying it. we have tried so many formulas that we didn't want to waste our money again. i gave ben 4 oz today and he drank it really fast. he seemed to enjoy it. it was a bit foamier than the gerber but he drank it fine. and then a few minutes after he drank it i noticed that his skin was splotchy around his mouth. suddenly it moved all down his neck and chest and then was all over his back. then he broke out in full on fully body hives. he projectile vomited all of it up. i felt so bad but at the same time it all the sudden clicked. every single formula he has tried has been gentle, or sensitive... and all of those formulas have broken down proteins in them that are easier for lactose intolerant babies to digest. i had just given ben regular formula with full on cows milk protein and his body totally rejected it.<br />
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i honestly think ben is allergic to cows milk protein. not just an intolerance. there is a difference. when i was breastfeeding him i tried to cut out dairy but it didn't seem to make much of a difference. i truly believe he still has acid reflux because his spit up is very acidic, and i notice a huge difference when he is not on prevacid. however, his pediatrician said that the amount of prevacid and zantac he is on should almost be completely eliminating his spit up. which clearly it had not been.<br />
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now don't get me wrong, we have questioned this being the issue before, but he still fits all the symptoms of reflux and he absolutely hates the formulas that we tried to give him that aren't lactose based. so really we just kind of assumed it was really bad acid reflux and we just had to deal with it. but after today happened, i did some research on this allergy and he has practically every symptom, but since he has been on those gentle formulas his symptoms weren't as severe as they were today.<br />
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he fits all the criteria.. he hates eating. seriously. he eats less than his 7 week old cousin. you can tell he only eats because he is absolutely starving and when he gets enough he stops. he is never comfortable. he is almost always stuffed up. he always has these mysterious rashes that we were told was normal but now it all makes sense.<br />
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sadly though, he will not drink the alimentum formula. which is also insanely expensive. but sometimes you can get these formulas covered on insurance. i am waiting on a call back from my doctor to see what our other options are though. i still believe he has acid reflux, but i also think he has this and i hope that now that we know we can try and make him more comfortable, and maybe cut back on the amount of medications he is on. poor kid is on way too many for his age and for them not to helping it just isn't worth it. we would rather pay more for hypoallergenic formula than for this medicine that does nothing.<br />
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anyway, that is the latest on ben. it has been an interesting 5th month. but i truly think we are on to something and have hopefully figured out how we can help him more. it is so heartbreaking to see your child so sad and sick. i don't know how these poor moms and dads out there who have kids with major illnesses survive. my hearts seriously go out to all of them. ben's problems are so minor to all of those.. and it still breaks my heart everyday. i knew this was more than just a baby who spits up a lot. i know people think i am crazy but oh well. i hope we can help ben more now that we now! hopefully this will be something he grows out of too sooner than later. this is a lot more common issue than people realize!<br />
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if you got this far i would be impressed. and i am sure there are a million typo's.. but i don't even care.<br />
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p.s. i was planning to write a post on how sean and i are doing and some other things, but this took me longer than i thought.. i will try to get to that soon.chloéhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16302480746230810221noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2379540647242102687.post-10117702852034729622013-06-10T22:05:00.000-06:002013-06-10T22:05:26.478-06:00four months<a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt=" photo DSC03652_zpsf03eb484.jpg" border="0" src="http://i1029.photobucket.com/albums/y354/chloeroseashby/Benjamin/DSC03652_zpsf03eb484.jpg" /></a>
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how is this possible? i have a 4 month old? he is 1/3 of a year old? so crazy to me. it's been somewhat of a rough month with ben. who am i kidding, his whole life has been a little rough. poor kid has the worst acid reflux. i feel so bad for him. it has gotten worse the last little bit, so he hasn't been too happy. but you better believe anytime he gets a smile on that face i whip out my camera. i know i take a lot of pictures of ben.. but i have my reasons. my little brother had a twin sister named bailey. she passed away when she was 2 months old. the film that had all the pictures of them from their first 2 months of life was completely ruined when it got developed. also, my grandma had some pictures of them but i believe her camera got stolen. there is only one picture of my sister. it makes me sad. so i may go a little overboard on the pictures.. but how lucky are we to have so many opportunities these days to take pictures? you better believe i am taking advantage of it.<br />
<br />
here are some 4 month stats on ben:<br />
<br />
-somehow weighs 14lbs 5oz. he is 25.5 inches long and has a head circumference of 17 inches. 75% for weight, 90% for height, and 93% for head. haha. so basically he is above average in all areas. everyone always comments on his tiny and skinny he is but he is in the 75th percentile but i think he just looks even skinnier because he is so long. and his head is ginormous. i don't think he seems that little.<br />
-he was sleeping really well for a bit, about 8-10 hours straight a night, but the past little while he went back to waking up after 5-6 hours and then every hour after that. he would go back to sleep with his binky but would wake up an hour later. last night he finally slept 10 hours straight again and didn't wake up once. i am hoping he will do it again tonight. i really needed it last night. last week was really rough. he cried... a lot. also he goes to bed between 8-9.<br />
-still drinking about 4 oz every 3-4 hours. sometimes he will drink 5-6 oz. still on gerber gentle. we have tried everything. he pukes it up no matter what so we stuck with this one because he seems to be the most comfortable on it and it digests faster. i think that is why he has gained weight. he is also still ridiculously hard to feed. but the last week he has been a little better.<br />
-kind of turned back into a fussy baby but that's okay. i know it will eventually pass.<br />
-he hates church. every time we go, he throws the biggest fit. we always take turns outside with him and sometimes he is so loud we actually have to go outside the building. we have to leave early a lot. he throws a screaming fit every time.<br />
-he needs his naps. he takes about 3-4 a day still. he has started to take a really long morning nap. usually 2-2.5 hours. it's nice! i can get ready and get some stuff done usually. if he is awake for more than 1.5-2 hours he gets really fussy. he still needs to be swaddled to sleep. he still likes to nap in his swing but he will take his morning nap in his room in either his crib or rock and play.<br />
-speaking of swings.. we went through 4 swings already. ughh. ben loves his swing.. and we had this awesome travel swing that i could take anywhere with me. i took it to work with me, grandparents... etc. it's a fool proof way for him to take a nap. well the crappy thing about that swing is that it's crappy. the motor dies after a couple weeks. i just kept taking it back to get replaced but finally decided to just splurge and use the money from the old one to get the nice swing since he loves it so much. we got the monkey one that matches his bouncer and rock and play. it's super cute but really big and doesn't travel. oh well. also, he is about too long for it. great.<br />
- occasionally he will laugh and giggle. it's the cutest thing ever.<br />
-he sucks his thumb and his pointer and middle finger.<br />
-has discovered his feet. it's so stinkin cute.<br />
-needs a lot of attention lately. if i leave his sight he starts to cry.<br />
-in size 1-2 diapers still<br />
-wearing 0-3 month clothes<br />
-still has a bald spot on the back of his head from laying in his crib! his head is a little flat too but the doctor said it wasn't bad and it's even so it wasn't anything to be worried about.<br />
-we got him a jumparoo. the more he is in it, the more he likes it. i think he will really like it soon. he is so active and it's the perfect toy for him.<br />
-his favorite thing to do is sit in his bumbo outside with moses. it always calms him down.<br />
-still puking like crazy. it got even worse so i took him back to the doctor. we got an ultrasound done on him to make sure it wasn't pyloric stenosis. he screamed the entire time. it was so sad. he couldn't eat for 4 hours before it so he was not happy about that. also he just doesn't like unfamiliar things and so he wasn't a fan of having gel and the ultrasound stuff on him. he didn't like the sugar water they needed him to drink so we had to end up giving him milk to see it go through his stomach. he doesn't have pyloric stenosis so basically he just has really sever acid reflux. hopefully he grows out of it soon. we have increased his very very expensive medication. he now takes a full tablet of prevacid instead of half and is still on zantac at an increased amount. he still pukes like crazy and is still fussy but i think he is a little bit more comfortable.<br />
-his hair is getting so long. i don't ever want to cut it though!<br />
-his eyes still seem brownish greenish. i am interested to see how they turn out!<br />
-loves being thrown up in the air. loves being tickled. loves when moses licks his face.<br />
-likes to watch curious george and mickey mouse clubhouse.<br />
-went on his first vacation last month. we went to torrey, utah to visit my grandparents. he did better than i thought he would but it was still kind of hard!<br />
-i think he might be teething a little. i haven't seen any teeth coming through but he has been drooling like crazy and tries to suck on anything he can get his hands on.<br />
-went to the splashpad for the first time today. he didn't really love getting wet but he loved watching all the kids play.<br />
-he really is a sweetheart. he isn't the easiest, most calm baby in the world.. but i don't blame him. if i spit up and threw up that many times a day i would be unhappy too. he can barely keep his medicine down so we don't even know how much it helps him. i can't wait until he grows out of this. feeding him wrapped in a full length towel (both of us) is getting old.<br />
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anyway, we really love this little guy! he is so cute! he also welcomed a new cousin a few weeks ago! my brother sam and his wife had a little boy! Jack Evan Thomas! he is so cute and so tiny! ben looks ginormous compared to him!<br />
<br />chloéhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16302480746230810221noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2379540647242102687.post-20216919087006582232013-05-07T14:03:00.000-06:002013-05-07T14:03:16.826-06:00ben's blessing<a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt=" photo DSC03620_zps85a85871.jpg" border="0" src="http://i1029.photobucket.com/albums/y354/chloeroseashby/baby%20ashby/DSC03620_zps85a85871.jpg" /></a>
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okay so i forgot to pull out the nice camera to take some pictures of ben on his blessing day... so i took some of him in his adorable little outfit today. i took these after already taking a million so i think he was over it by then and ready for a nap. this is the same outfit that his daddy and uncles were blessed in. sean did such a great job and i am so proud of him. ben was so good during the blessing and i was told he smiled the whole time while he was up there. i love my cute little family! afterwards we had some family and friends over for a light lunch. thank you everyone who came to support us! we love you! after everyone left we all took a nice 2 hour nap. it was much needed.chloéhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16302480746230810221noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2379540647242102687.post-60598736890878251912013-05-07T13:57:00.001-06:002013-05-07T13:57:17.677-06:00ben and mommy<a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt=" photo DSC03614_zps92418603.jpg" border="0" src="http://i1029.photobucket.com/albums/y354/chloeroseashby/baby%20ashby/DSC03614_zps92418603.jpg" /></a>
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one of our favorite things to do is lay in bed and tell each other stories. he is quite the animated story teller.chloéhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16302480746230810221noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2379540647242102687.post-67909948060432158772013-05-07T13:54:00.000-06:002013-05-07T14:04:23.346-06:00ben's 3 month update<a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt=" photo DSC03582_zps4c9a5b74.jpg" border="0" src="http://i1029.photobucket.com/albums/y354/chloeroseashby/baby%20ashby/DSC03582_zps4c9a5b74.jpg" /></a><a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt=" photo DSC03587_zpscf75d9db.jpg" border="0" src="http://i1029.photobucket.com/albums/y354/chloeroseashby/baby%20ashby/DSC03587_zpscf75d9db.jpg" /></a>
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i know.. i went a little overboard on pictures. as usual. i couldn't pick just one though! our sweet little boy benjamin is 3 months old today! i can't believe it! here are some little updates:<br />
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> weighs 12 lbs 2 oz according to our bathroom scale<br />
> still in some newborn clothes but also in some 0-3 month size<br />
> now on gerber good start gentle formula. it digests quicker so he keeps more down!<br />
> still on prevacid. we hardly use that zantac anymore. although i think he still needs it too. oh well.<br />
> smiles, coos, fake laughs, (more like a cough) all the time. it is so stinkin cute!<br />
> drinks about 4 oz every 3 hours in the day.<br />
> goes to bed at about 9 and will wake up anytime in between 2:30-6:30. it is pretty inconsistent haha. it seems like most of the time he will sleep until 4 or so though, eat 5 oz and go back to bed for a couple more hours. a few times he has slept straight until 6:30 and it has been sweet.<br />
> takes about 3 or 4 naps a day. usually about 1 and a half hours each.<br />
> loves to go outside<br />
> is obsessed with this little stuffed elephant.<br />
> laughs when moses licks his face<br />
> loves his swing and laying on his back.<br />
> still pukes a lot but he is happy so that's all that matters.<br />
> sleeps in his own room in his crib! wahoo!<br />
> gets so excited when he sees pictures of himself and of his daddy<br />
> loves looking at himself in the mirror.<br />
> has come to work with mom a few times! he did so good.<br />
> still has most of his hair but has a bald spot on that back now from his crib<br />
> loves sucking on his hands<br />
> drools all over<br />
> hates tummy time. he rolled over a few times when he was only a few weeks old but now just lays there like it's the end of the world.<br />
> in size 1-2 diapers<br />
> has such long eyelashes and i think his eyes are either going to be green or dark brown. still hard to tell.<br />
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we just love our little guy. he has been so fun this past month!</div>
<br />chloéhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16302480746230810221noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2379540647242102687.post-60882531314070265932013-05-07T13:34:00.001-06:002013-05-07T13:34:59.573-06:00pictures from a real camera - months 1 and 2<div style="text-align: center;">
> 1 month <</div>
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> 2 months <</div>
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excuse the poor lighting in these last few. it was a cold rainy day and i could not get good natural light! </div>
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that's why there are only a few of these from month 2... and from now on i am going to try to</div>
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do actual month by month updates on time! today ben is 3 months! so stay tuned for that post later.</div>
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i am already working on it :)</div>
chloéhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16302480746230810221noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2379540647242102687.post-12156155567497775672013-05-06T20:09:00.000-06:002013-05-06T20:09:03.413-06:00ben's first 2 months<a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt=" photo AFF9FDE6-014D-4652-A73A-48DB0F8A0F44-9476-00000256CA8CE6E8_zps5cf99905.jpg" border="0" src="http://i1029.photobucket.com/albums/y354/chloeroseashby/baby%20ashby/AFF9FDE6-014D-4652-A73A-48DB0F8A0F44-9476-00000256CA8CE6E8_zps5cf99905.jpg" /></a>
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> 1 month <</div>
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bens first month of life was pretty rough. the first week was obviously hard just because we were all trying to adust. the next 2 got a little better but when ben hit 3 weeks he started to spit up a lot. like a lot more than normal. he would projectile puke all the time. at his 2 week check up he was 7lbs 5oz and when i took him to get him weighed at the lactation specialist when he was 4 weeks old he was 8lbs 11oz so we weren't too worried about him gaining weight but something still seemed off to me. ben was never really a calm baby. it always seemed like he was uncomfortable and in pain. he was always so tense and fidgety and when the spit up started to increase it all got worse. he started to cry all the time and especially while eating. it got so bad that he couldn't catch his breath and stopped latching when i nursed him. i went to a lactation specialist and tried to get help. i tried nipple shields and different positions. nothing seemed to work.<br />
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when he turned a month old i took him to the doctor and he was diagnosed with acid reflux. poor guy. no wonder it was so hard for him to eat. anyway, even with the zantac he still wouldn't latch and i think it was because it hurt him to lay any position but upright when eating. so i started to pump and bottle feed him. this was way nice because we could actually pace him when he ate and feed him sitting up. it seemed to help but he was still having issues. pumping was really really hard for me. at first i didn't mind it but then having to pump 7 times a day was getting old. having to do that and then go feed him and then do it all over again was draining me. i don't know how people do it. i had quite a good freezer supply but was also starting to produce too much milk. it's really hard to find a balance of foremilk and hindmilk while pumping. ben started to get fussy and uncomfortable again and i tried to change my diet, change the way i pumped... etc. we put him on prevacid along with the zantac. he still seemed unhappy all the time.<br />
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one day i had a breakdown. ben was 6 weeks old and i lost it. i started crying to sean that i couldn't do it anymore. i was so exhausted. pumping was taking its toll on me and i felt like i had the most unhappy baby in the world. i felt like i couldn't do anything right. i told sean i didn't want to pump anymore. he took ben and the dog to his parents and told me to take a nap and that he was okay with it if i didn't want to pump anymore. i love him so much. anyway, i decided to sleep on it and feed him frozen milk for the next day until i figured things out. some of the milk seemed freezer burned to me though so i decided to give him some of this special formula that my mom had bought us a few weeks before. he was on that for 24 hours and was like a whole new baby. he was so much happier! i couldn't believe it. also randomly that day, 2 women from my ward showed up at separate times saying they had a feeling that they needed to check up on me. turns out they both had similar stories and pumped for a while too and were so miserable. i felt like them showing up to check on me confirmed my decision to stop pumping and go with formula. i have felt really guilty about it but have prayed a lot about it and feel like those girls coming over were an answer to my prayers. also, the milk that seemed freezer burned gave me a chance to try out formula and therefore turned ben into a much happier baby. i don't know if i will ever know if it was something that i was eating or if ben just needed a special formula, but whatever it is... ben is much happier and therefore i am happier. formula is so expensive and i was telling my doctor that i felt guilty and wasn't doing what was best for my baby. she said to me "chloe, you are doing what is best for your baby. he is happier now. that is what is best!" so there you have it. ben is on formula and people can judge all they want but that is just how it is going to be!<br />
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> 2 months <</div>
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ben's 2nd month was much better than the first. at his 2 month check up he weighed 10lbs 9 oz and was 23 inches long. his head circumference was 16 inches. so he was in the 50% for weight, 80% for height, and 90% for head. haha. so he is long and skinny and has a big head! </div>
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at about 5 weeks ben started to smile. he smiled for sean first and it was the cutest thing ever. </div>
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around this time ben would average 3 oz per feeding every 3 hours. he was on enfamil gentlease for colic and gas. (he is on a different one now but i will update about all that in my 3 month update)</div>
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he would sleep about 5-6 hours for the first stretch of the night and then usually another 3 or 4 after that. he would take about 3 or 4 hour and a half naps a day.</div>
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we moved his bedtime from 10 to 9. </div>
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he started to sleep in his crib! it has been so nice. we originally had him in our room in his rock and play. then we transitioned him into his room in the rock and play for the 2nd half of the night. then we started keeping him in the rock and play in his room and putting him in his crib for the 2nd half. then we did the crib the whole night! wahoo! </div>
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and i suck for not doing this sooner because now i can't think of the huge milestones at 2 months... but it's all kind of been a blur! tomorrow ben turns 3 months so i promise to be better and update on that soon! also, i have taken pictures with my real camera each month, so i need to get those up soon! these phone pictures are not great. not sure if i will throw those in these posts or just create new ones. who knows. i am all over the place and have way too many pictures and not enough time to get organized! i just wanted to get this stuff up before i end up getting way behind...</div>
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chloéhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16302480746230810221noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2379540647242102687.post-26502995261238197542013-05-06T19:50:00.000-06:002013-05-06T19:50:19.708-06:00phone pictures from the first 3 months.<a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt=" photo D1CC6BDE-B8C8-4645-B0B0-13517986C9E6-9714-00000263924D427F_zps66b93309.jpg" border="0" src="http://i1029.photobucket.com/albums/y354/chloeroseashby/baby%20ashby/D1CC6BDE-B8C8-4645-B0B0-13517986C9E6-9714-00000263924D427F_zps66b93309.jpg" /></a>
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my phone is seriously running out of space and my mobile photobucket app is driving me nuts and not making this easy anymore because the app got updated and won't upload the pictures in the size i want them. so i had to do them all one by one and the spacing is off and blah blah blah... annoying. anyway these pictures are not the greatest quality and are all from my phone but i love them and always want to remember them! i can't believe how much he has grown in three months! i love him so much!! i plan to get his month by month posts up here soon. i have been trying to take pictures with my regular camera for those updates.. we will see if i can find time to do it!chloéhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16302480746230810221noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2379540647242102687.post-51587391652144847192013-04-09T15:13:00.001-06:002013-04-09T15:13:16.862-06:00our first pictures as a family of three.<div style="text-align: center;">
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okay technically we are a family of four since i count moses as family but you know what i mean. we decided to have <a href="http://www.maddiethomasphotography.com/">maddie</a> take some pictures of us as a family when she came over to take the newborn pictures. i love how these turned out! it was so nice not having to leave the house too! thank you so much maddie! now that i am not as swollen and have lost the baby weight we should have you take some more ;)chloéhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16302480746230810221noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2379540647242102687.post-83384434454592659242013-04-09T14:58:00.001-06:002013-04-09T14:58:59.351-06:00ben's newborn pictures<div style="text-align: center;">
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<div style="text-align: justify;">
my sister <a href="http://www.maddiethomasphotography.com/">maddie</a> came to our house to take newborn pictures of ben about a week after he was born. i didn't want anything to fancy or studio style. i just wanted some natural pictures in our own home. i know a lot of these are almost the same picture but i couldn't decide which ones to post so i just posted all of them! i love them so much. it is so crazy to look at these now and see how much he has changed. he did not love it when we took him binki out of his mouth so that is why it is in a lot of the pictures. we were hoping he would fall asleep for these as well.. but if there is anything i have learned from ben it is that he does whatever he wants whenever he wants :)</div>
chloéhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16302480746230810221noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2379540647242102687.post-53708795345106012452013-04-09T14:45:00.000-06:002013-04-09T14:45:44.716-06:00more of ben's nursery.<div style="text-align: center;">
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my sister came over to our house to take ben's newborn pictures. she snapped some much better pictures of his nursery! thanks so much <a href="http://www.maddiethomasphotography.com/">maddie</a>! also, almost every cute thing in this room was made by my amazing friend <a href="http://ablissfulwhirl.blogspot.com/">lee</a>! thank you so much!! </div>
chloéhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16302480746230810221noreply@blogger.com1