Wednesday, May 6, 2015

a little life update and weeks 22-25 with baby #2

well i am behind on blogging about this pregnancy. shocker i know! we moved a few weeks ago though, and my laptop was in storage, and then when we finally got into the new house, it took us a week or so to get internet. so anyway, i am almost 25 weeks now. yikes. i remember being 15 weeks and thinking if i could get to 25 weeks it would feel so much closer to being done, but now that i am here... i feel like 15 weeks is forever away. but i also feel like that is not enough time. i am so excited to meet this little guy, but also extremely terrified to be a mother of two. ben is extremely active, curious, adventurous, and demands a lot of attention or else he will get hurt or who knows what. i am nervous about how i am going to handle a newborn with a crazy toddler, but i am pretty sure people have been doing it for years, so somehow i will survive. i have just accepted the fact that kids are resilient, my life is no longer about me, and things get better with time. so we will figure it out somehow! being in a bigger house will help. ben absolutely loves our backyard and we have a sliding door to go out there so he is out there ALL the time. i need to figure out a way to childproof it but he already figured it out when i stuck a curtain rod in the door. he knows to pull it out when he wants to go out and he actually locked me out of the house by walking back in and putting the pull in. ugh. talk about backfire. see why i am nervous to have a newborn that demands 24/7 care with a benny? he has gotten his head stuck in the stair rail already and we don't have a lock on this pantry so that's a whole other issue. we will figure it out though.

 i need to do a post on the new house. i will get to it. but we love it here so far. i miss my old bedroom.. it was a lot bigger than this one, but all of the other things about this house make it so much better than the last. we love the neighborhood, the location, the size, the backyard, the layout... we need to do some painting though. ben and the new baby's room are pink right now haha. we got a new kitchen table and when it got delivered on tuesday, i marched right back to RC willey to exchange it. we loved the table but we were deciding between 2. sean of course liked the cheaper one more, so we decided to go with that one, but when it sat in our kitchen it just didn't work. the color was too dark, almost a cherry red, and it clashed with all the other colors in the kitchen. we exchanged it for a different one, that has more of a rustic farmhouse style which is what i wanted in the first place. the other one was a little too traditional for me. it had leather seats and a bench. size wise it was great but this other one will be much better. we got a wood bench to go with it and i picked up some vintage metal bistro chairs today to go with it that will match our counter stools. the new table will be delivered on friday and they will take the one we didn't want haha. anyway, we love the house so far and i didn't mean to go off on that but i will post more about the house later with pictures.

i meant for this post to be about how the pregnancy is going but maybe we will just consider this a life update post. back to the pregnancy though.

how big is baby: in between an ear of corn and a rutabaga. so anywhere from like 8.5 inches to 13.5. about 1-2lbs. every app is different though so its hard to know. he feels huge. i feel him ALL over.

total weight gain: if you go off of my first dr. appt at 11 weeks, i think its like 5 lbs. but if you go off what i think i was before i got pregnant? probably like 12-13. who knows. all i know is that i weighed 10 lbs less when i got pregnant with ben, and i am like 7 lbs away from being what i weighed when i had ben.. haha. so i feel huge knowing that i still have 15 weeks left and i am almost that weight. oh well. i am pregnant. its the one time in my life its good to gain weight and i need to embrace it, even though its hard! i swear like 10lbs of it is in my chest. they almost make my stomach seem smaller because they are so big. i hate them.

sleep: great. except for if ben wakes up i have a hard time going back to sleep. but for some reason when i wake up to pee i can go right back to sleep. unisom helps me wonders.

best moment of the week: hmmm.. this baby has been moving for a while but he has been super super active this week. especially today. sending sean videos of my morphing stomach was a pretty cool moment this week.

food cravings: still tacos 180. and donuts, and ice cream cones or concrete mixers from culvers. and tootsie rolls.

food aversions: nothing really.

symptoms: i am sure if i wasn't on prilosec everyday i would have awful heartburn.. but i got on top of that this pregnancy and its been awesome not having to deal with it. except on the days i forget or run out.. the heartburn is AWFUL. also, at my last appointment i told my doctor about some stomach pains i have been having and she is pretty sure its my gallbladder. not much i can do but take lortab that she prescribed if i need it, and try to eat less fatty and fibrous foods. my back and hips hurt a lot and i have had a lot of braxton hicks and today i have had a lot of cramping.. which feels different than braxton hicks and round ligament pain. its closer to period cramps, which is how it was when i finally went into labor, so that scares me. i am sure its nothing though. maybe just a growth spurt or something. also, i feel like i can't breathe. ever. lung wise and nostril wise. super fun! :)

movement: yes. tons and tons.

gender: boy!

what i miss: i will always say smaller boobs and that will always be my answer.

here i am at almost 22 weeks.

22 weeks today. This baby is not growing out the way Ben did. He is growing up, back, and sideways.. But not out. I have to really push my hand/arm in to make it obvious there is a bump or else it just looks like I'm really thick and solid in the middle h

here i am at almost 25 weeks. this picture is deceiving though. the phone and my hand hide my chest so it makes me look a lot smaller than i actually look haha. oh well. ill take it.

Tuesday, April 7, 2015

weeks 17-21 with baby #2


so the top picture is benny at 20 weeks and the bottom picture is baby #2 at 18 weeks 5 days. technically you could say 19 weeks, since i am measuring 3 days ahead, but it's not enough to change my due date, so whatever. i think their profiles look a lot alike!

so anyway, we had our big anatomy scan a couple of weeks ago. baby boy was no cooperating. he didn't cooperate very well at the gender ultrasound either. he likes to put his hands everywhere that the tech tries to measure. there were a couple of things that the tech noted. baby is breech right now, but so was ben and he flipped before delivery so i am not too worried about that. when we went in, i was having a contraction that made the measuring difficult. my placenta appeared way too close to my cervix during the contraction, but once it stopped she checked again and it was still close, but it's right on the border of it being a concern. the placenta should only move up from here, so she wasn't super worried. he did have a hole in his heart, but she said that usually they close up before they are born. i am thinking they aren't too concerned because i haven't gotten a call from them telling me to come back in. and this boy definitely does not like to show off his parts. ben was so open and not shy at all. this little guy likes to curl up in a ball and not show us anything. she could barely even tell if he was a boy and kept trying to go back but he wasn't cooperating. since she said it was a boy at 16 weeks, i am sticking to that, but it would be nice to have 100% confirmation haha.

i am just going to update on how i am now at almost 21 weeks.

how big is baby: the size of a mango or banana. my apps say about 6.5 inches and 11 oz. he was 11 oz 18 weeks 5 days, so i am sure he is bigger now.

total weight gain: i feel and probably look like i just keep steadily gaining weight, but the doctor said i have only gained about 2 lbs since my 11 week checkup and would like to see me gain more. i think i just gained like 5-7 lbs right at the beginning and have sort of slowed down a little. i am okay with that except i know i still have 20 more weeks to go haha. i will probably gain at least another 20 lbs. so i don't think that doctor needs to be concerned at all. its funny how different things are the second time around. the first time, everything happens sooo slowly. you slowly watch your body change and i feel like that gives you time to sort of accept the changes. the second time, its like your body knows exactly what to do, and things that didn't get a certain size until like 20-30 weeks, just get bigger immediately. your hips, boobs, tummy, face, and everything else just know what to do now. its definitely harder to deal with this time, since it literally happens overnight and i still have a lot longer to go. i do not feel like myself at all, but i know this is only temporary and my body is doing a pretty cool thing. my bump is definitely there but not really round. its actually quite odd shaped. i feel like instead of growing out he's growing up and in. which just makes it so i can't breathe and makes me feel pretty thick and solid from my boobs down to my hips. i would rather grow out so the bump looks a little more obvious and not just like i am filling out majorly and getting chubby haha.

sleep: sleeping great. have to pee a lot but it's not that bad. my body pillow helps a lot and i think im at the point that i can't sleep on my tummy anymore. which is hard because i am a stomach sleeper all the way. 

best moment of the week: feeling lots of kicks! 

food cravings: i have been under a lot of stress lately and have had a lot of stomach pain lately. so eating isnt my favorite right now, but cravings have been buffalo chicken tacos from 180 tacos. i am obsessed. and i still always want candy. i can't get enough tootsie rolls these days. lately though i have been sticking to bland food and just have toast or cereal. and my stomach still hurts!

food aversions: nothing really. not super into meat or veggies but thats sort of how i am when i am not pregnant either.

symptoms: prilosec is a lifesaver. except i ran out yesterday and had AWFUL heartburn today. we made sure to go to costco today and stock up. bad bloating and stomach aches, headaches, and my back is starting to hurt. i think the weight from my chest is really affecting my back. oh and i guess the belly haha.

movement: yes! started feeling him around 18 weeks. much earlier than last time. i feel him often now.

gender: boy! at least i still hope so haha! would love more confirmation.

what i miss: i will always say smaller boobs and taking alka seltzer for stomach aches.

here are some pictures from the last few weeks:

17 weeks

19 weeks

i have had quite a few contractions lately. like i mentioned i have been under a lot of stress, and i know it's not good for me or the baby. we are in the middle of selling our house and buying a new one and moving and it has been incredibly hard on me. i feel like i have maybe developed an ulcer from stress and that could be why my stomach hurts all the time. i will save that all for another post another day.. but if i start talking about it now i will start crying and i have been crying all week, so i won't write about it tonight.

Friday, March 6, 2015

16 weeks with baby #2

well, with my pregnancy with ben, i documented a lot of it. this time around, i have a lot less time to do that. i feel bad that i haven't really written anything down. i am trying to be better. i think occasionally i will do these little survey things if i can find the time! i am 16 weeks now.

how big is baby: the size of an avocado. about 4-5 inches and 3-5 oz.

total weight gain: ugh. i am definitely gaining weight quicker this pregnancy. and instead of really being in my belly, it's all over the place. my boobs have honestly tripled in size. i HATE them. i told sean i want a mastectomy. that's how bad i hate boobs. sorry i just do. i keep feeling like i have gained like 15 lbs already since i weigh that much more now than i did before i got pregnant with ben.. but the truth is i weighed about 10 more lbs before i got pregnant with this baby than i did before i got pregnant with ben. if that makes sense. when i got pregnant with ben, i had lost a little weight from my tonsillectomy so i was already a little smaller than i normally was. with this one we had just gotten back from a cruise (ALL YOU DO IS EAT) and then there was thanksgiving.. so yeah. also, i hate the doctor's scale. i will weigh myself at home and it will be like 3 lbs less than the doctors scale. it makes me mad and confused. also, yesterday i weighed myself and was down like 5 lbs from the day before on the same scale. my weight fluctuates so bad. if i were to make a guess, i would say up 5 -7 lbs, even though it probably looks and feels like more. and after yesterday it being lower i don't even know anymore. let's just say nothing looks good and the only thing comfortable is sweats. and i definitely am bigger. with ben, i was not sick at all the first trimester except towards the end and most of the second trimester. this time i was very sick in the first trimester and would often eat crap to help with the nausea. it's funny to be throwing up but gaining more weight haha. that was a novel. sorry. i really don't care. as long as the baby is healthy i'll weigh whatever.

sleep: sleeping pretty good. but that's because i can still comfortably sleep on my stomach. i don't mean to, but i always end up on my stomach. i know soon i won't be able to though. i don't know how well sleep will be after that. i also take unisom every night to help with nausea so that could be why i am sleeping better. and ben still wakes up occasionally and of course i have to pee 5 times a night. but i am still sleeping okay.

best moment of the week: seeing this cute little guy and finding out he's a guy!

food cravings: i don't know if it's being in the second trimester and not feeling as sick all the time and feeling like i need to eat constantly, but my appetite has definitely subsided. maybe that's why my weight went down a little. really, all that sounds good lately is candy and diet dr. pepper. which is funny because i was on a dirty diet coke kick for soooooo long. 

food aversions: nothing really. but nothing really sounds good either. just haven't been too hungry.

symptoms: with ben i noticed this week i had way bad heartburn.. but this time around i have already started taking prilosec every day and haven't had heartburn in weeks! wahoo! it's been so nice. i wish i would have done this sooner with ben. up until 2 weeks ago tums were my best friend. and i hate tums haha. i have had lots of headaches this week. i do have a bad cold though, so that could be why. i have only thrown up once this week and it was more of a dry heave episode. i am starting to get a little energy back, but that might be because i kind of had no choice with sean being hurt. maybe it was adrenaline? maybe the anti-depressant that my doctor put me on is starting to kick in? who knows? but i have been feeling better.

movement: not yet. well there have been some times i have questioned if i felt something, but nothing yet where i absolutely knew it was the baby. i hear you feel the baby sooner in your second pregnancy, so we will see! 

gender: boy!

what i miss: smaller boobs. i said that last time (well at 17 weeks. i didn't do a 16 week one) and i am saying it again. and fitting into clothes. 

i haven't been taking many pictures this time around. i just have not felt cute at all. not that i felt super cute last time haha. i don't know if it's because i am heavier at this point that i was with ben, and cutting my hair like 2 weeks before i got pregnant? i don't know, but i haven't felt cute at all. please don't think i feel sorry for my self or anything. i just never feel like myself when i am pregnant. nothing fits, and i never get ready anymore. when i was pregnant with ben i had to get dressed and go to work everyday so i had a reason to get ready. this time ben and i stay home most the day in our pajamas. i don't have a picture for 16 weeks but here are some from 10 and 11 weeks. 

10 weeks.

11 weeks.

gender ultrasound!

My little guy curled up in a ball. He was definitely not as open and willing to show us his parts as Ben was. He just wanted to stay curled up in a ball not facing anyone haha. It was cute! I still can't wrap my head around the fact that I am going to hav


It's a boy!!!! (the best picture I could get)


baby ashby #2 is a boy! we are so excited! i think sean and both kind of expected it to be a boy. i had a feeling it would be and sean was sort of up in the air but we were not shocked at all when it was a boy. maybe its just because we already made one boy? so maybe we are just good at making boys? haha who knows. i would have loved to have a girl for a couple of reasons, one of them being that if we had a girl, i feel like we could be done having kids if we wanted to. which i do think we will have at least 3 kids, but its nice to have one of each first, if you know what i mean? also, i struggled a lot when ben was born. i know everyone already knows all about it, the post-partum, ben's allergies and acid reflux, almost always crying in pain, not sleeping ever, and throwing up ALL THE TIME. everyone says baby's spit up a lot, but if you were to spend 5 minutes with ben you would have seen that it was much more than most babies. anyway, i am glad we got that all figured out, but it was a very hard 6 months until we did. i think when i found out it was a boy, i got scared. scared because at this point all i have to compare this baby to is how things went with ben. and in my mind, since ben was a boy, this boy will be the exact same experience. now i don't need anyone to tell me that it is ridiculous to think that. i already know that. i know every baby is totally different and this experience will not be identical to my first. and even if it is similar, i learned a lot through that and would handle it different this time. but its just how i felt at the moment. i was scared. i just had to be honest about how i was feeling. part of me thought that maybe if it were a girl, i wouldn't be as scared, because at least something about the experience would be different, if that makes any sense at all? i know, it's so silly. anyway, once i got over those feelings, the excitement set in. i am so excited for benny to have a little buddy! and there will be 4 grandsons, 2 1/2 years apart on my side! it will be so fun for them.

i feel like i let people down by not having a girl. that is even sillier than my above statement. but sooo many people were hoping for a girl since there haven't been any in quite a while in my extended family. but i know this is going to be so much fun. i think God knew that if i had a girl, i might in my mind feel like we could be done haha. so this is his way of insuring that we have at least one more child :) i am okay with that. i really do love being a mother. i feel like maybe i have not given off that vibe, because i tend to be really honest about the really hard times. that's just how i am though. i have to be honest about the good and the bad. it can be so hard at times. sometimes its harder more often than its amazing. but those amazing times make all the hard time worth it. i wouldn't change anything about this journey. and i do want more than two kids, just for the record haha. i know i say i would be good with two, but i think i just say that because i am scared of the unknown.

anyway, we went in for a gender ultrasound at 15 weeks and 5 days. when we went in for ben, right away i knew it was a boy. i saw that flash on the screen right at the beginning. there was no mistaking it. this baby was definitely not as open and flashy as ben. he was curled up in a ball almost the entire time. it made it really hard for us to really be able to see anything. when she finally got to the legs, to get that gender shot, it took a while. and for a few seconds there, you couldn't see anything in between the legs. that was basically the only moment in this pregnancy so far when i thought "wait, is this a girl??" i even said that. but the tech kept trying and said she thought she saw something in between the legs, and sure enough after some maneuvering she found the boy parts. they weren't the clearest, and she even went back at the end to double check. i mean there is no doubt it's a boy, but she definitely seemed more confident about ben being a boy. she said we would check again at the big 19 week scan. i feel pretty confident that nothing will change though.

it's so cool to me to finally know the gender. it makes it seem that much more real. calling it a he instead of it. i am excited to start feeling this little guy kick. i wonder if he will look like ben? i can't wait to meet him. i am scared to be a mother of two. and to be honest, it's not really even the newborn that scares me, it's just trying to give my attention to a newborn and a very active toddler that scares me. but people have been doing it for years and years and years obviously so i know i will figure it out :)

sorry, this post it all over the place! it's been a crazy week, and i guess i just needed to type it all out in a very chaotic mess of words. please excuse all the grammatical errors. in other news.....

last saturday sean hurt his back really bad. he was helping his brother move a compressor and his back just gave out. he has had back problems for a while, but this just was kind of the last straw. he couldn't move at all and an ambulance had to be called to get him to the hospital. after lots of steroids, pain medication, and muscle relaxers, he was finally able to sit up and go home. the x rays didn't show much so we were told he needed an MRI first thing on monday. that was a nightmare trying to get the insurance to pre-authorize it. i cried all day trying to get that taken care of but finally they pulled through last minute just as we were about to pay cash for it. which we will end up paying anyway, since we have a high deductible no HSA insurance plan. i won't get into that, but long story short, sean has a herniated disc that is pressing on a nerve. he will most likely have to have surgery, but we are waiting on a second opinion. he has basically just been lying in bed most of the week. not able to do much. he did got to work towards the end of the week and he is starting to feel a little better, but still very sore.

anyway. that was our week. very hard and very exciting :) we also celebrated moe's 5th birthday! i can't believe my first little baby is 5. it's so crazy to me how fast that went. i love my moses. even though he can drive me bonkers sometimes when he wakes up ben, i still love him. here are a few cute pictures of him and ben! love my boys!!




Love when I can capture a sweet moment like this. And in case you are wondering if we are going somewhere fancy today... We are not. Ben is into choosing his own clothes these days. He chose that shirt with some dark stretchy pajama jeans. He did have a b