what?? an update??

wow. it has been way way way too long since i have blogged. this is the longest i have ever gone without blogging! i post most everything on instagram now days. but i felt like i need to get back to blogging. even if i don't get every picture up, at least i can put updates about our life here.

yes it's true! baby #2 is on the way! we are very excited. i am 14 weeks today. this pregnancy so far has been very different from my first. i have been a lot sicker. with ben i got sick but it wasn't until almost the second trimester and it was basically only at night. with this pregnancy it hit me way earlier on. i also found out a lot sooner though. maybe i should start from the beginning!

in july i went off birth control. it took us almost 10 months to get pregnant with ben. that might not seem like long to some but when you decide you are ready, it's already too late. i had a feeling it might take us a while for baby #2 as well. i didn't go off birth control with the intention to get pregnant right away. i actually went off because i thought it would help the melasma i was dealing with. basically we weren't trying but we weren't preventing. my cycles were way out of whack. i would sometimes go 10 days between a period and sometimes 40. it was annoying and was never consistent. at the beginning of december, i just had this feeling one day. i knew i was pregnant. i had thought that so many times while trying to get pregnant with ben, but this time i just knew. i knew it was probably wayyyy too early to even get a positive. even with my cycles being so long sometimes i just had a feeling. even if it would have been a normal 28 day cycle it was still early. i asked my neighbor if she had any tests and she didn't so that day when sean got home from work i ran to walgreens and bought an early response test. i think sean thought i was crazy for testing. i have wasted SOOOOO much money on negative tests. anyway i snuck into the bathroom and took it. and it seemed to be negative. but after a few minutes i noticed a second pink line start to appear. it was very faint.

i kinda started to freak out. i came out of the bathroom and showed sean. this same thing happened with ben. we didn't believe the line. it was way too light. so sean ran back to walgreens for a digital one. and sure enough it said pregnant. we were in shock. if i am being honest i immediately felt so guilty. my sister in law had just lost her first baby at 8.5 weeks in october. i really wanted her to be pregnant before me. i felt bad. we didn't tell anyone for a few days. it also seems like the minute we found out ben got a lot harder. i was starting to doubt myself and if i could handle everything.

the day we found out i was 3 weeks and 3 days pregnant. with ben i didn't find out until i was almost 5 weeks. when i hit 5 weeks with this pregnancy i got incredibly sick. like i couldn't keep water down at all. i was so afraid that it was morning sickness but it turned out to be the stomach flu. thank goodness. that didn't stop the nausea though. i have definitely been a lot sicker this time and have thrown up a lot. especially at night. it seems like 5:00 hits and all the sudden i am so sick. i have had no energy and have been so tired all the time. i feel like i have no patience and a short temper. i had to go off of my anti-anxiety/depression medication so that probably didn't help things. i have gained weight a lot quicker too and thats been hard. i know i shouldn't complain though.. and i probably sound so ungrateful to be pregnant. but thats not the truth. i am excited. its been a slower growing excitement this time. i am soooo scared out of my mind. i am scared of getting post partum depression again. i am scared of having another challenging baby. but at the same time i feel like i learned a lot and i can handle more now. i guess we will see. i get more excited every day though and can't wait to meet this little guy or girl!

we find out in about a week and a half what the gender is. i am so excited! at 8 weeks we went to a fetal studio and paid $25 for a gender verification. we also got to hear the heartbeat. that was neat because my doctor doesn't see patients until at least 10 weeks and doesn't do ultrasounds until 19 weeks when they do the full body scan. unless you pay $25 for a gender check which we are doing at 16 weeks. here is our little Roo at 8 weeks! (the nickname for now!)




not much to see but i am still glad we did it! it's so hard to believe that there is anything in there at the beginning. my pants definitely beg to differ on that though haha. i am hoping that now that i am out of the first trimester hopefully i start to feel better soon or at least get some energy back! i have been pretty hard on myself about it. i really am getting excited though and cant wait to see ben be a big brother!

speaking of ben... he just turned 2! i cant believe it.





my little boy is growing up way too fast! he is all over the place and so much fun. he definitely is a handful and keeps us on our toes but he is the best thing to ever happen to us. he is starting to talk a lot more and it has been so fun. he has been a little behind on the whole english thing but he is getting there. my little cousins asked their mom if ben was speaking spanish haha. he is very smart and he talks all the time in his own little language. but now he is starting to say words and that is fun. his first real word was go. we were at the part and he was going down the slide and all the sudden he just said "GO!" as he went down. the next time he said "Set. Go!" and now he says that all the time. along with Dad, Mom, Moe, puppy, cookie, ball, milk, juice, shoes, jack, papa, mama (grandma). he says Ewee (for elliette) and K-ee for Katie. wawa (water), hi, bye, nigh nigh (good night), car..etc. he knows where all his body parts are. he is into picking out his own clothes lately. you have to give him options and let him pick. its so funny. he is so sweet and so hard at the same time. i love him so much though. he fights naps nowadays and doesn't go to bed as easily as he used to but he has been sleeping good and so that is nice. i am trying to enjoy the sleep while i can before we do the whole newborn thing again!

sean is doing great. he got a new job in august at rock canyon bank and it is going great. he loves it there but he did love his old job too. luckily he still does a lot of work with them and we were lucky enough to be able to still go on their cruise in november! we had soooo much fun. we left from puerto rico and went to Barbados, St. Lucia, St. Maarten, St. Thomas and.... shoot i forgot the 5th one. oh well i am hoping to post about that trip soon and i will remember eventually!

we have been painting our house and that has been quite the process. sean is such a saint and such a hard worker for doing this for me. i have been sick of the beige everything that we have for so long. we have the house halfway done and it is looking so good. i cant wait to have it all done.

overall life is going pretty good. we are very blessed and very lucky. we definitely have our hard days but that is life right? i am hoping to get back into blogging more regularly. i want to document this pregnancy like i did with bens and i want to blog about our trip! i am going to go to bed for now though! goodnight!!

28 weeks.. almost.

how far along? 28 weeks. okay almost. i am leaving town soon so i am doing this early. technically i'll be 28 weeks on friday. and you could say i am in my 28th week. do you like how this post is about being 28 weeks and i don't even have a 28 week picture yet? i'll add a 28 week picture later. there is probably not much difference from week to week, but i promised myself i would document this pregnancy the best that i could even though i hate taking pictures of myself. i never got to see what my mom looked like pregnant and it always made me a little sad! that bare belly picture is 27 weeks. i never thought i would show off my bare belly but i think that it looks a lot different with no clothes on it. it's also probably the last time it won't have stretch marks all over it so i might as well document it. also, THIRD TRIMESTER?? wow.
total weight gain: 15-16 lbs so far. i swear half of that is in my chest.
maternity clothes? yes. still wearing them. i need to get me some maternity shirts. even though my regular shirts still fit me.. they don't look right. it's hard to explain but the seam that goes down the sides just looks better if it's towards the back or actually on the side of you.. not towards the front.
stretch marks? i finally discovered some underneath my lady lumps. :( to be honest i shouldn't be surprised though with how much they have grown. i think that has been the worst part of all of this.
sleep: waking up 3 or 4 times a night to go to the bathroom but overall i am sleeping well. the pillows help.
best moment this week: passing my glucose test! wahoo! i don't know why i was nervous. i eat so much sugar that i think my body is so used to it anyway. you are supposed to be under 140 and i got a 107. they also did an iron test and you need to be above 11 or something and i got a 12. i was glad to see i was on track!
miss anything? still my old chest haha. honestly, the big belly hasn't bothered me at all. it's the ladies. i hate them. i seriously do. sorry dad, you probably don't want to hear about this. they are what is making me feel huge though. they make it hard to fit in shirts.. i feel like they weigh my down. am i the only one who feels this way? i know they are going to get bigger and worse before they go down.. but i honestly can't wait until they go down (if they ever do). i wouldn't say that i was smaller chested before i got pregnant.. but i was happy with my size. this is just out of control. and they hurt. so what is the fun in all this? sean, you can't comment on this. haha.
movement: tons. there was a day last week i didn't feel him that much and i started to panic. he made up for it the next day though. his moves are getting more frequent and more intense. i also think he might not be breach anymore because i am now finally feeling kicks up high. they could be punches though so i could be wrong. i have no clue how he is positioned though and he probably moves all the time.
food cravings: still donuts, and hot chocolate. but i like those even when i am not pregnant. cheeseburgers have become a new thing these past few weeks. i love them now more than ever.
anything making you queasy or sick: i am feeling much better in this category. i haven't thrown up in a while and i don't gag anymore when brushing my teeth so that is good!
gender: boy
labor signs: nope. i am getting braxton hicks now though!
symptoms: i have heartburn 24/7. i have been taking zantac but at my last appointment my dr. said i could take that along with prevacid or prilosec so i am going to try that.it's just expensive haha. oh and my hips ache and i am starting to waddle a little because my balance is off.. it's getting harder to bend over and pick up things and get out of bed. i wouldn't say it's terrible though. just something i have noticed this past week. also, my eyelashes have grown back for the most part so i am happy! i know it's normal for eyelashes to fall out every 6 weeks and re-grow and i think maybe when mine go through that cycle it has just been a little slower this pregnancy so they look short for a while but it's good to see they have somewhat caught up!
belly button in or out? in.. but i don't know for how much longer haha.
wedding rings on or off? off.... but only because i had another diamond fall out and it is getting repaired right now. seriously?!? this is the 2nd time in 3 months. so glad we got a warranty. they said if it keeps happening they might have to replace it.. but they really think it's just a coincidence. i guess i can be hard on my hands though.. and on the bright side i will get a freshly clean, re-dipped ring back. anyway. the ring still fits great...
happy or moody most of the time: i think i've been pretty happy this past month. of course i have my moments still.
looking forward to: meeting this baby in 12 more weeks! ahh!

my 28 week appointment went great this week! my blood pressure was still normal. i did have a trace of protein in my urine, but i guess it wasn't enough to be alarmed about. if my blood pressure was high along with that then it could be a concern but it wasn't. put on 4-5 more pounds. i honestly thought it was going to closer to 10 because of how i have been feeling so i was a little shocked. also, i always have to drink a whole water bottle before i go in so they can collect my urine and i also had the glucose drink in me so that could have affected the numbers a little. this whole weight gain thing is still weird to me but i only have 12 weeks left of it. my next appointment will be in 3 weeks and then i will start going every 2 weeks after that. we are also going to get signed up to take the labor classes at the hospital. this is all happening so fast!

baby is over 2 lbs now! crazy! he could be born now and have a really good chance of surviving! not that i want him to come early, but it's nice to know he would probably be okay if he did. i was telling sean the other day how grateful i am to be pregnant. it really is a neat thing. that being said, i wouldn't say i was one of those people who absolutely enjoyed and felt their best and most beautiful while being pregnant. not even close. he always reminds me though how beautiful of a journey this is and that i need to embrace it. so i am really trying. getting to feel him kick and move really helps remind me of how neat this all is.

oh guess what? baby blue is going to have a little cousin come along 4 months after him! my brother sam and his wife sarah are expecting their first as well! my parents will get their first 2 grand babies in 2013! we are so excited and happy for them! i was worried that baby boy wouldn't have too many cousins close to his age, so this is awesome!

24 weeks

how far along? 24 weeks and 2 days.

total weight gain: 11 lbs so far.

maternity clothes? yes!! and they are amazing. i can still try and squeeze into my old clothes. and to be honest, i felt like if i caved and got maternity pants that i somehow was "giving in" or something. i know that sounds dumb.. but anyway, the second i slipped on those maternity jeans? i felt so much better. they are made to flatter the pregnant body and emphasize the belly. they are the same size every where else except the belly area. so i could still get the size that i normally am and still feel good! buying a size up in regular pants just didn't work out because then they were baggy every else except the waist. so that wasn't really flattering on me. anyway, my mom took me to get some and she will testify that my mood lifted right away. i was kind of having a downer day that day.. not realizing how uncomfortable i was. so my advice to anyone who is on the fence about maternity pants? completely and totally worth it.. well at least for me. i realize that everyone is different. at least go try them on though. you might not have realized how uncomfortable you have been. my mom took me to motherhood and i got 2 pairs of skinny jeans and pair of burgundy skinny cords. i also got a denim skirt, a shirt, a sweater, and a cardigan. then next week i went back and bought another pair of light brown cords so i have some more work options. basically i am a lot happier and people have actually noticed that i am looking pregnant and not just chubby.

stretch marks? none yet that i can see.. 

sleep: my hips and back now hurt at night. i am a stomach sleeper, so it's been quite an adjustment trying to sleep in other positions. sometimes i wake up and i am on my stomach but it doesn't stay comfortable for long. sean thinks it is going to squish the baby. haha. i always have slept with a pillow between my knees since i was little, but lately my hips have still been in pain. i read online that if your ankles are not parallel while sleeping, it puts more pressure on your hips. so now i sleep with a pillow between my knees and my ankles. it has helped a lot. it's probably time to invest in a pregnancy body pillow. oh well, this seems to be working for now!

best moment this week: we got the diaper bag! thanks maddie! and the crib has been ordered! that was exciting! can't wait to see it. thanks mom and dad for providing us with a crib! we are so lucky. 

miss anything? i miss my old, smaller boobs. hey, just being honest. 

movement: yes! i started to feel him around 21 weeks! i feel him all the time now. sean has felt him a few times and so has my sister and lee! i can even see my stomach move. it's crazy. he likes to move the most at night and in the mornings. especially if i am laying on my back for a minute.

food cravings: i put donuts last time and i still feel that way. yet i haven't had a donut since posting that. something needs to change. sean made his nana's homemade cinnamon rolls for dinner tonight and those really hit the spot. also, i have been really craving hot chocolate.. but i have been really picky about it. mimi's definitely has the best... but it's not always easy to get. mom, i might need to borrower your cocomotion!

anything making you queasy or sick: the smell of meat still bothers me. also, sean lit an apple spice candle today... and i was not a fan. 

gender: boy

labor signs: nope

symptoms: the heartburn has gotten worse. but my friend juli, who is 2 weeks behind me in her pregnancy, gave me some almonds and they really do work! my mom just gave me a huge bag so i am set. all i have to say is this baby better have a lot of hair with the amount of heartburn i have had. and my tailbone and hips hurt, but i already mentioned that. i have also had earaches but my doctor checked my ears and they were fine. she said it could just be from all the congestion that comes with being pregnant. oh also? my eyelashes have been breaking in half and some have been falling out. i just noticed it this week. i am not sure what the deal is? i looked it up and apparently it is common during pregnancy because of the change in your follicles and hormones and whatnot. seems weird to me because everyone always raves about how pre-natals help with hair growth but i guess eyelashes are different. i am not a fan of it though and i really hope they grow back! most people said that they did after they had the baby, so i guess we will see. pregnancy does weird things to your body, man.

belly button in or out? in.

wedding rings on or off? on.

happy or moody most of the time: i had a really grumpy day or two last week. like the most ridiculous things made me want to cry. i was aware i was being crazy but couldn't do anything to stop it. so far though i have only cried like maybe twice this whole pregnancy.

looking forward to: meeting this baby in 16 more weeks! and finally getting the nursery started!

overall things are good! i have been feeling queasy less often, so that is good! at my 24 week appointment, my doctor said that the ultrasound results all came back normal so that was a relief. they started measuring the length of my abdomen which they hadn't done before. it was 23cm, right on track for 24 weeks. they sent me home with the awesome orange glucose drink that i have to drink before right before my 28 week appointment to check for gestational diabetes. i can't believe i am already at that point in this pregnancy. it has gone by really fast. we are down to like 3 and a half months left. i can't believe i am almost 6 months pregnant already. it's crazy to me! anyway, until next time.. probably at 28 weeks... i like posting after my doctors appointments because that is usually when i have more info about how things are going. once i hit 30 weeks though i will be going every 2 weeks so i might be posting more often. we will see! also, i wish i had better pictures to post. i have been trying to take them every friday since that the start of a new week in my pregnancy. sean is usually gone for work by the time i realize that i need to take a picture so i end up resorting to the cellphone picture in the bathroom with a dirty mirror. oh well. i wanted to be better about tracking this all but i am not going to be so hard on myself about it! crappy cell phone pics will have to do for now! hopefully in the next couple of months i can get a maternity shoot in with my sis! 

20 weeks and some other updates.

how far along? 20 weeks tomorrow!
total weight gain: up 7lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight.
maternity clothes? i did cave and buy some bigger bras this week. it was long over due. i got the genie bra to be exact. haha. i actually love them! i also bought a bella band because i have a few pairs of pants that don't stretch as much as i'd like. it's like my stomach grew overnight. seriously. i was telling sean last week "all my pants fit totally fine, it's just my boobs that frustrate me! they make it find to hard shirts that look good!" then bam. pants are tight. it only seems to be bad in the front though and when i am sitting down.
stretch marks? none that i can see yet. but i already have stretch marks from puberty so i am pretty sure i will get lots this pregnancy. i would love it if i miraculously didn't, but i am not counting on it.
sleep: not terrible this week. i have been more tired than every, so i am sure that is why.
best moment this week: getting to see our little boy again! he is so cute.
miss anything? still missing sushi. also i miss chugging caffeine like it's going out of style. i still drink it but have been trying to have a lot more water and non-caffeinated diet cokes lately.
movement: i am pretty sure that i felt a kick or 2 this past week. still unsure though.
food cravings: donuts, cookies, gummy worms, chocolate.. but that is nothing new.
anything making you queasy or sick: meat, usually.
gender: boy
labor signs: nope
symptoms: heartburn, exhaustion, breakouts, swollen boobs. sorry i keep talking about them but they hurt so bad!
belly button in or out? in.
wedding rings on or off? on.
happy or moody most of the time: depends.. haha.
looking forward to: meeting this baby in 20 more weeks! we are halfway there!



i can't figure out how to get our scanner to work so here are some pictures of blue from my phone. we had our big 20 week ultrasound this week. the ultrasound tech couldn't give us a whole lot of info, since she is just supposed to take the pictures and send them to the radiologist for review, but she seemed to think that everything looked normal! no cleft lip, no spinabifida. his heart was in the right place. he weighs 11 ounces right now. he is breech but i guess that is not too uncommon at this point in pregnancy. most likely he will move before he comes. he seems to like that position though.

i was excited to see how far along i was measuring and ironically i was measuring exactly 19 weeks and 4 days which keeps me at february 1st for the due date. i thought there was no way it was accurate because my cycles before getting pregnant were so long and random after going off birth control that i though i for sure might be at least a week or 2 off. i was so happy to see that we are right on track and the due date is still february 1st! that last picture is kinda creepy, but the tech said he has a tooth growing in! obviously he won't be born with a tooth sticking out but it will be up in his gums. crazy!

we met with the doctor after the appointment and she said everything looked good for now and if there were any problems with the ultrasound, we would get a call within the next few days. i am up 7 lbs in weight... (it's probably mostly in my chest.. haha) she said that she would like for me to have gained a little bit more weight at this point since i am already halfway done. she says i have some catching up to do. it's an interesting thing all the sudden to be encouraged to gain weight. i have been eating like i normally do, if not more, but a lot of times i just am not hungry. nothing sounds good or i feel sick to my stomach. i guess i just need to get over that and eat even if i am not always hungry. baby is hungry and i need to make sure he gets the food he needs. sean is always like "yes! you gained a few pounds! good job!" ha. it's nice to have encouragement like that even though it's kind of depressing at the same time. i do not struggle with my weight or anything like that, but i have been the same weight since i was 15 years old.  give or take a few pounds throughout that all but it's always been within a 5lb radius. i still have clothes from that time in my life. sad i know. anyway, it's just hard to watch your body change so much so quickly. i know it is worth it though and sean is always reminding me that it is such a beautiful amazing thing. he is right. i hope that saying all this doesn't make me sound shallow or anything.. change is just hard in any form. i know it will be so worth it though! i will do anything for little blue! i just didn't realize how quickly everything would change. my clothes fit last week and this week it's a huge change. he is growing like a weed! it really is a neat thing to watch your body change. i am learning to embrace it! i am grateful that sean is so supportive and sees this change as a beautiful thing.

now we need to get working on the nursery! my parents have offered to buy us a crib so i have been on the hunt! i am loving the babyletto line at target! i also love this jenny lind crib. now we just have to pick one! these are only available online so it's making it harder for me to decide. so cute though.

all i have blogged about lately is the baby so here are a few other updates!

-sean is going on a business trip to texas in november and they were told they could bring spouses if they would like. so i am planning to go with him! we figured it might be our last chance to go on a vacation before the baby comes. i am so excited! my doctor said it was okay for me to fly on a plane at that point so we went ahead and booked me a plane ticket! one of sean's work buddies is bringing his pregnant wife too so it should be fun! i am really looking forward to it!

-at work we had such a huge record breaking month that they decided to reward all the employees with their choice of an iphone5, new ipad, bose headphones, 42 inch tv, or blendtec blender. since my iphone is not that old, i decided to go with the ipad. it has been awesome! i love it. i love my job. it made all those long days (and nights) worth it!

-sean has been having some back/leg problems for a while and finally decided to go see a chiropractor. turns out he has scoliosis and a pinched nerve from an injury that happened on his mission. he has been going to physical therapy 3 days a week and has already seen quite an improvement.

-he is still playing softball and now i get to watch instead of play on thursday nights. it has been fun!

-the voice has started back up! wahoo! we are already loving this season much more than season 2!

-our callings are keeping us busy but we are grateful for them. i can't wait for fall and winter though. i feel like things slow down a little and we get to spend more time together or at home. i am looking forward to that.

-moses is as cute and mopey as ever!

17 weeks

how big is baby: the size of a sweet potato. 5.5 inches, 5 oz. (that is head to rump) my uterus is the size of a cantaloupe though.

total weight gain: we don't have a scale.. but at my last appointment i was up 3 lbs total. 

sleep: i don't really have a problem sleeping but i get sore laying in one position for too long. my tailbone is already hurting me. when you are pregnant, hormones get released that cause the ligaments in your body too loosen up and i am pretty sure that is why my back hurts. it's not like the baby is huge yet or anything.

best moment of the week: nothing too exciting happened this week.

food cravings: nothing specific really. today bbq chips sounded good but i never ended up having any. waffles with peanut butter and syrup sounded good so i made some of those.

food aversions: meat. and most vegetables.

symptoms: lots of heartburn this week. plus exhaustion, and depression. oh and headaches.

movement: not yet. the ultrasound technician said if i was feeling anything this early then i was probably mistaken. she says closer to 20-22 weeks is when i will feel the baby. we will see.

gender: boy!

what i miss: sushi. and smaller boobs.

this is the survey i have been trying to do weekly on my private blog. i was exactly 17 weeks in these. sorry for the crappy phone pictures. the battery on my camera is dead and i am just too lazy to charge it. once again these pictures make it look like i am showing more than i really am. they were taken in the evening with a full belly. the last picture on the left is what i look like in the morning. not much of anything. today i seem to be even smaller than those pictures so who knows. i can tell my belly is growing but most people still can't. i am wondering if i will "pop" soon.. guess we will see.

i have been kinda depressed this week. especially this weekend. sean was gone on a scouting trip and i got kind of lonely. i guess that could be why i have been feeling down. i am assuming that is normal but maybe i am just letting the exhaustion and hormones get the best of me. i feel useless and pathetic and i haven't been feeling well and i don't understand why the nausea and stuff is worse this trimester. don't get me wrong, i know it could be worse. and usually i feel better after i throw up, but most people seem to feel so much better this trimester. maybe in the next few weeks i'll get feeling 100% better. i could really do without the daily headaches.

in 2 weeks we have our big anatomy ultrasound. i am excited and nervous. can't wait to see my little boy again, but i hope that everything is okay and that he is measuring fine. i really hope nothing is wrong! anyway, sorry if this post was depressing. here's to hoping things are better tomorrow. i have a a lot to be happy about and a lot to be grateful for. i just want to thank my dear sweet sean for taking care of me and putting up with me. he is my best friend. good night world.

it's a ....

BOY!

we are so excited! i had a feeling it was going to be a boy. sean on the other hand was completely shocked. the first thing he said though was "awww! he's gonna be my little fishin' buddy!" the day we found out that blue was a boy happened to fall on the 10 year anniversary of a long boarding accident that sean was in that almost took his life. he suffered severe head trauma and was in a coma up at primary children's for over a week. he sent me this text after we both got back to work...




talk about making me cry at work! anyway we are so excited to welcome a little boy into our family. i will be a little out numbered but i just can't wait to see my 3 boys together. they will be so cute!! we got a dvd from the appointment and i think we have watched it like at least 20 times. the ultrasound technician said that it was definitely a boy. we go back in 3 weeks for the big measuring ultrasound. at that appointment they will measure everything, see how far along i really am, make sure baby blue is growing strong and healthy. i can't wait! oh and baby boy definitely has my feet. long feet and crooked toes. the tech said that she very rarely gets a shot of both feet together so she was pretty excited to get that shot. i love it!

i have been meaning to update more frequently but for some reason i have gotten more sick since entering the 2nd trimester. unusual i know. i can't quite figure out what the deal is, but i have been feeling terrible at night. i throw up almost every night. i think it could be from extreme exhaustion. at my job we are so incredibly busy. it is so stressful. i love it but it's been hard for me to deal with while being pregnant. working 9-10 hour days with no break has been rough. i wish i could just take a nap at work! oh well, i shouldn't complain. my company is so good to us and being busy at work = bigger bonuses and overtime pay which is a huge blessing, especially since we are trying to save up as much as possible before baby comes. i am very grateful. life is good!



here is a picture of my belly at 15 weeks and 3 days! not much has changed since then. in fact most of the time my bump looks smaller than this. i still haven't really "popped" yet. only after i eat a big meal. baby is supposed to double in size though over the next few weeks so maybe it will really "pop" soon! it's kind of hard being in the in-between stage. most people probably just think i ate one too many donuts. which is probably true says the girl eating a donut as she types this. hey, i had some peaches to even it out! :)

i have a lot more i want to update about, and a lot more pictures.. but that is just going to have to wait. like i said i don't feel well at night, so i am going to go get my clean warm sheets out of the dryer and lay in bed while watching last weeks bachelor pad. i have clearly neglected my tv shows as well. good night!

13 weeks

sorry i feel kind of weird doing this. i don't love having my picture taken, especially when i am not feeling like myself. so this will be an interesting 6 months! please don't mind my hair in this. i haven't washed it in like 3 or 4 days. don't judge. i'm actually 13 weeks and a few days in this picture but i didn't get around to taking a picture when i was actually 13 weeks. it's also possible that is more of a food baby than actual baby haha. usually when i wake up in the morning any evidence of a bump is gone and i look exactly like i did before i got pregnant. just more bloated. usually after i eat anything though i get a little bump. it's probably more evident in this picture because i think those belts kind of accent the belly. also, placing the hand under the belly obviously makes it show more. also, i had just eaten a sandwich. and some ritz crisps...

i know it my seem that i haven't been documenting anything about this pregnancy but i have actually kept a week by week little survey thing with pictures on a private blog. i don't know if i will overload everyone here with those posts but i am going to try to start now on here and keep people updated. it's funny because before i got pregnant i had all these plans about what i would do when i got pregnant. "oh i'm gonna announce it in such a clever way! i am going to document it in such a unique way and take pictures all the time of my growing belly!" ha... yeah right. none of that has really happened. oh well. just know that i had every intention of being more creative but it just hasn't happened yet.

just to sum up the past 9 weeks..

up until week 10 my only symptoms were that my boobs doubled in size and hurt tremendously (sorry but it's true), breakouts, exhaustion, some mild headaches, and occasionally i would gag in the morning when brushing my teeth, which would lead to me throwing up. nothing too bad though and not much to complain about.

after week 10, when most first trimester symptoms eventually start to ease and let up? i started to get a little worse. i have thrown up a few times at work and i actually feel really sick at night. i dry heave almost every morning, but i don't feel sick doing it. i don't know if it is extreme stress at work, but when i get home i feel terrible. i don't want to eat anything and i usually just spend the rest of the night in bed. i have had quite a few bad headaches lately and it seems like no matter what i eat i get a stomach ache or heartburn. i am really sensitive to smells. we had some weird smell in our fridge for a few days and we couldn't figure out what it was. every time i would walk by the kitchen i would run to the bathroom and throw up. really though, everything is kind of random. i have been having crazy dreams but sleeping pretty well. i feel pretty lucky overall and am just going to consider myself lucky that i felt pretty good up until week 10!

all my clothes still fit... it's just hard finding shirts that i feel comfortable in since my lovely lady friends got so big so fast. oh well. it's all for a good cause right? also, to be honest i love just wearing loose clothes that feel comfortable. at my last appointment i had gained a pound from before i got pregnant. i would guess i am probably up another pound or so now. a lot of people say they feel better if they are constantly eating but i usually feel the opposite. i have to force myself to eat sometimes. i can still eat candy though like it's going out of style. lately i've really been into anything sour and tangy. still loving chocolate... especially peanut butter cups, peanut butter m&m's, and riesens. i haven't really been into meat at all and i would say my biggest craving is soft serve vanilla ice cream cones and peaches. which could be due to the fact that the baby is the size of a peach right now. a peach! crazy eh? seems like yesterday it was just a blueberry.

speaking of blueberries... sean nicknamed the baby back when it was the size of a blueberry. he used to say goodbye to me every morning before leaving work and then pat my stomach and say "goodbye baby." when he found out it was the size of a blueberry, he started calling it blue. now the name has stuck. we call the baby, blue. that will probably be the nickname when it comes out as well! sean nicknamed his nieces and nephew when they were born and i love that they have all stuck with them. i hope this one sticks. also, i hate calling it "it." we can find out in 3 weeks what "it" is! sean thinks it's a girl. i am leaning more towards boy. to be honest i am kind of hoping for a girl because i think it would be so cute to see sean with a little girl. she would have him wrapped around her finger. also, there are so many boy cousins and uncles on sean's side.. i think the chances are higher of having a boy since the boy determines the gender. it would be fun to beat the odds. i guess we will see though! we will be so happy either way!

my next appointment is in 9 days. i can't wait to hear the heartbeat again! i forgot to have them check for more than one! there are quite a few twins in my family so i should have had the dr. check. i'm sure i am probably not having twins, but we will know soon enough! they found this baby down really low on my left side. the heartbeat was 167 BPM and sounded great. baby is pretty much full formed by now, has all it's body parts and organs, and is just ready to start growing, growing, growing!

sean has been so good to me throughout this pregnancy so far. he has been such a trooper. when i get tired which is a lot more often than normal, i get clumsy and emotional and he has been so great throughout it all. helping my clean up multiple messes, helping pick my up after i fall and want to cry. calming me down after i come home from work in the worst mood. he wants to know everything about the baby as well. he gets upset when i forget to send him the weekly email updates that i get on what is going on with the baby. i love it.. haha. he is constantly trying to make sure that i am eating okay... probably because i eat pretty crappy though. always asking me if i took my prenatals. he thinks that it bothers me but i love that he cares so much. he also doesn't want me to play softball this fall. he is so worried that something will happen. he is a keeper, that's for sure. i can only imagine how protective he will be over our children. maybe we shouldn't have a girl... haha.

anyway, that's all i really have to say for now! sorry for the novel. hopefully next time i update it won't take as long. i guess that's what i get for putting it off...

may 29th 2012

this is just one of the many posts i have written on my private blog about our journey to get pregnant. i wrote this one the day we found out. i cut a little bit of the more personal stuff out. it's kind of a rambling mess, but i just wanted to write down everything i was feeling that day. -

ahhhhhhhh!!! i am pregnant! today is tuesday may 29th 2012. i just need to say it again. i am pregnant. it has not sunk in. we just found out today. i don't think either of us believe it. we are in shock. obviously last month i didn't get pregnant again. we were devastated. we thought for sure i would be pregnant by the time that sean graduated. for some reason we have always had this feeling since the day we got married that it would take us a while to have kids. i don't know why we were so surprised when that feeling came true. i think we had just hoped that we were wrong. anyway, i decided this month i just didn't care. i wasn't going to use an ovulation kit and we would just stop worrying about it. i was tired of wasting money on ovulation kits and pregnancy tests. i was tired of being let down. it was time to just relax and let it go for a while.

a buddy at sean's work announced his wife was pregnant after mothers day. it didn't take them long at all. sean said it stung. we were so happy for them but sad at the same time. i know some people wait WAY longer than we did, so please understand i am trying to be sensitive about it. but i think when you want a baby? it doesn't matter how long you have to wait. once you decide you want one its already too late and seems that any wait is too long. it sucked being let down every month. i felt like i was letting sean down and my body just sucked. we went and saw what to expect when you're expecting and i loved it but it also made me sad. last weekend we went up to park city for a nice getaway. the night before we left, on thursday, i took a test. it was negative. i don't know what i was expecting. my cycles have been so crazy lately that i don't even know if i am late. also we didn't use the ovulation kit so i just didn't know.

yesterday was memorial day. sean and i were both worn out. so tired. we went up to the cemetery and saw my sister and grandma's graves. i was kinda grumpy all day and had been having some headaches. i have had some PMS symptoms but didn't want to get my hopes up about pregnancy like i do every month. on our drive home last night sean brought it up to me that he was just feeling blah. feeling a little lost since graduating. i thought for a minute and told him that he is craving a challenge. he has been challenged since his mission. he then went to school and it was a non-stop challenge. he thrives on it. i told him that he just needs to be a dad. that will be a challenge that he will love and it will never end. he will be the best dad. i know it. it was hard because we had both been wanting this for a while. it was hard because we felt like it might never happen. it wasn't even the fact that it was taking us longer that we expected. we were mostly just starting to worry that something might be wrong and we wouldn't know or have any answers for a long time. anyway, he agreed and then last night as i took moe out to go to the bathroom i saw a shooting star. i know that sounds cheesy but i just wished that we would be happy and find our way. learn how to be patient and content with where we were in life. accept that this just wasn't in our hands. but also more than wishing.. i felt peace. i had a good feeling after that. it was the longest shooting star i've ever seen. i went in and told sean and said i made a wish that we would be happy. both be happy. not that we aren't happy.. but happier. that we would find purpose and be content.

this morning i just thought "what the heck, i'm taking a test." sean was in the shower. i took one. waited a few minutes and was shocked to see a second line start to form. i saw one once a while back when we first started trying but it was much fainter and we think it was the evaporation line. plus we were reaching. we were trying to see something that wasn't there. you could only see it in certain light but we tried to think it could mean something. well this time it was obvious. i ran to the bathroom and opened the shower. i showed sean and he didn't believe it. he was excited but it wasn't enough to convince him. he was still skeptical because of that other test that gave us false hope. he was super let down every month as much as me so it didn't sink in. well i thought about it all morning. i was pretty sure it was positive but we just wanted to know for sure. so at lunch i ran to walgreens. bought a digital test and went to the bathroom at walgreens. sure enough the words "pregnant" showed up. i was so used to seeing "not pregnant" i didn't believe it. i texted sean a picture. no words. then walked out to my car. i sat there and got this text from him: " i don't know what to say other than i love you and i can't stop smiling. here's to the best adventure of our lives!"

i burst into tears. it felt so good. it was worth the wait. just like i felt when sean graduated. -



anyway.. there you have it! we were not planning on announcing it publicly this early. we told our immediate family almost a week after we found out and i wanted to wait until i was about 14 weeks to tell everyone else but sean just couldn't wait any longer :). he is like a little kid at christmas and right after he heard that heartbeat he just wanted to share the news. we both actually felt relieved after. it was nice not having to hide it anymore. i had all these ideas for a cute way to announce it. but honestly when it comes down to it.. that stuff just doesn't really matter, right? i mean, i love that kind of stuff. i really do. but the way it ended up getting out ended up being perfect for us. i know it's still early but if something were to go wrong we would probably share it with everyone eventually anyway. i am just over 11 weeks now. (that we know of.. could be earlier or later than that but my doctor doesn't do an ultrasound until 19 weeks. what if there is 2???) the baby is the size of a lime or a fig. we had our first doctors appointment on monday. finally! it felt like the longest wait ever! it was totally worth it though to hear that little heart beat. my doctor said that even though she couldn't say 100% (she said things could obviously go wrong at any stage in any pregnancy) that we were out of the danger zone, she said that she was fairly confident that this baby was going to be just fine. the heartbeat sounded strong and great and everything else looked good. we can go in at 16 weeks and pay $25 to find out what we are having. i think we are probably going to do that! more than anything i just want to see that little baby inside of me!

this past week was rougher than the rest for some reason. i have thrown up a few times this week. once even at work. blah. oh well. i can't complain too much! overall i haven't been too sick and have felt pretty good. a lot better than i thought i would. also, i have been doing weekly updates on my other blog since week 7. just about how i am feeling.. cravings, aversions, and whatnot with pictures. you know those survey things? yeah those. i will probably post them over here soon! i just don't want to overwhelm everyone with baby posts all at once. but oh well! it's my blog right? this blog went from marriage blog, to moses blog, to baby blog. but hey, it's our life right? this baby is the most important thing in our life right now. for my birthday sean bought me some cute things for the baby! so did my mom! i will have to post about those eventually! i am still having a hard time finding the motivation to blog. even now that i have something to blog about.. haha. let's just say that sleep is about the only thing that i want to do these days!

a letter from your daddy.

{more details to come later...}