hey guys. it's me mosey. i prefer moe now. it sounds more distinguished. wouldn't you think? look how big i have gotten. i am about 40 lbs now. it has been a crazy month. with me losing my manhood. my owners moving us to some new house without grass. i know!? WTF! who does that? would you like pooping and peeing on dirt? i don't think so. so i sometimes do it in the house now. big deal? i am finally going to the door now when i have to go. it makes my owners happy so whatever. they give me more treats when i do that so i guess i will cooperate. okay let me rephrase that. the chick gives me lots of treats. the dude? not so much. but he takes me on lots of walks and she doesn't. so i guess it works out.
the day that they moved me out of that little old apartment i got so sick. i had diarrheah alllllll over the kitchen floor. like all over. and i rolled in it and it got all over my toys. the dude came home and was like "ohhhh gross!" and he plugged his nose and ran outside and was dry heaving. then he took me outside and sprayed me off with the hose and i was like "come on man! i am soooo sick. and now you are spraying me off with cold water? you know i hate water! how cruel can you be? do you want someone to do that to you?" anyway. the chick came home and the dude was like "i can't go in there. it is sooo bad." he looked like he was going to cry so the chick stepped up and was all "i can clean it up. i used to work at hogi yogi and had to pull dirty XXXL underwear and diapers out of a toilet once." so she went in there and didn't come back out til it was done. that was pretty cool. the guy stayed inside til she finished. i never went back in that house. i wonder if that is why they moved us?
anyway, i like the new place. i rode on a horse. it was nuts. i am hoping we get some grass soon because i hate peeing on dirt. i just like to eat dirt. not pee on it. we will see what happens. the owers are good in case you were wondering. the chick has been super busy at work lately. she hardly ever gets to play with me and it makes me sad but the dude has been around. working on the house and stuff. they don't have internet yet. and won't until next saturday. so maybe then they will update you on their lives then. it's been a wild and crazy month. peace out dawgs. ha. get it? dawgs? i kill myself.
-Moe
