what?? an update??

wow. it has been way way way too long since i have blogged. this is the longest i have ever gone without blogging! i post most everything on instagram now days. but i felt like i need to get back to blogging. even if i don't get every picture up, at least i can put updates about our life here.

yes it's true! baby #2 is on the way! we are very excited. i am 14 weeks today. this pregnancy so far has been very different from my first. i have been a lot sicker. with ben i got sick but it wasn't until almost the second trimester and it was basically only at night. with this pregnancy it hit me way earlier on. i also found out a lot sooner though. maybe i should start from the beginning!

in july i went off birth control. it took us almost 10 months to get pregnant with ben. that might not seem like long to some but when you decide you are ready, it's already too late. i had a feeling it might take us a while for baby #2 as well. i didn't go off birth control with the intention to get pregnant right away. i actually went off because i thought it would help the melasma i was dealing with. basically we weren't trying but we weren't preventing. my cycles were way out of whack. i would sometimes go 10 days between a period and sometimes 40. it was annoying and was never consistent. at the beginning of december, i just had this feeling one day. i knew i was pregnant. i had thought that so many times while trying to get pregnant with ben, but this time i just knew. i knew it was probably wayyyy too early to even get a positive. even with my cycles being so long sometimes i just had a feeling. even if it would have been a normal 28 day cycle it was still early. i asked my neighbor if she had any tests and she didn't so that day when sean got home from work i ran to walgreens and bought an early response test. i think sean thought i was crazy for testing. i have wasted SOOOOO much money on negative tests. anyway i snuck into the bathroom and took it. and it seemed to be negative. but after a few minutes i noticed a second pink line start to appear. it was very faint.

i kinda started to freak out. i came out of the bathroom and showed sean. this same thing happened with ben. we didn't believe the line. it was way too light. so sean ran back to walgreens for a digital one. and sure enough it said pregnant. we were in shock. if i am being honest i immediately felt so guilty. my sister in law had just lost her first baby at 8.5 weeks in october. i really wanted her to be pregnant before me. i felt bad. we didn't tell anyone for a few days. it also seems like the minute we found out ben got a lot harder. i was starting to doubt myself and if i could handle everything.

the day we found out i was 3 weeks and 3 days pregnant. with ben i didn't find out until i was almost 5 weeks. when i hit 5 weeks with this pregnancy i got incredibly sick. like i couldn't keep water down at all. i was so afraid that it was morning sickness but it turned out to be the stomach flu. thank goodness. that didn't stop the nausea though. i have definitely been a lot sicker this time and have thrown up a lot. especially at night. it seems like 5:00 hits and all the sudden i am so sick. i have had no energy and have been so tired all the time. i feel like i have no patience and a short temper. i had to go off of my anti-anxiety/depression medication so that probably didn't help things. i have gained weight a lot quicker too and thats been hard. i know i shouldn't complain though.. and i probably sound so ungrateful to be pregnant. but thats not the truth. i am excited. its been a slower growing excitement this time. i am soooo scared out of my mind. i am scared of getting post partum depression again. i am scared of having another challenging baby. but at the same time i feel like i learned a lot and i can handle more now. i guess we will see. i get more excited every day though and can't wait to meet this little guy or girl!

we find out in about a week and a half what the gender is. i am so excited! at 8 weeks we went to a fetal studio and paid $25 for a gender verification. we also got to hear the heartbeat. that was neat because my doctor doesn't see patients until at least 10 weeks and doesn't do ultrasounds until 19 weeks when they do the full body scan. unless you pay $25 for a gender check which we are doing at 16 weeks. here is our little Roo at 8 weeks! (the nickname for now!)




not much to see but i am still glad we did it! it's so hard to believe that there is anything in there at the beginning. my pants definitely beg to differ on that though haha. i am hoping that now that i am out of the first trimester hopefully i start to feel better soon or at least get some energy back! i have been pretty hard on myself about it. i really am getting excited though and cant wait to see ben be a big brother!

speaking of ben... he just turned 2! i cant believe it.





my little boy is growing up way too fast! he is all over the place and so much fun. he definitely is a handful and keeps us on our toes but he is the best thing to ever happen to us. he is starting to talk a lot more and it has been so fun. he has been a little behind on the whole english thing but he is getting there. my little cousins asked their mom if ben was speaking spanish haha. he is very smart and he talks all the time in his own little language. but now he is starting to say words and that is fun. his first real word was go. we were at the part and he was going down the slide and all the sudden he just said "GO!" as he went down. the next time he said "Set. Go!" and now he says that all the time. along with Dad, Mom, Moe, puppy, cookie, ball, milk, juice, shoes, jack, papa, mama (grandma). he says Ewee (for elliette) and K-ee for Katie. wawa (water), hi, bye, nigh nigh (good night), car..etc. he knows where all his body parts are. he is into picking out his own clothes lately. you have to give him options and let him pick. its so funny. he is so sweet and so hard at the same time. i love him so much though. he fights naps nowadays and doesn't go to bed as easily as he used to but he has been sleeping good and so that is nice. i am trying to enjoy the sleep while i can before we do the whole newborn thing again!

sean is doing great. he got a new job in august at rock canyon bank and it is going great. he loves it there but he did love his old job too. luckily he still does a lot of work with them and we were lucky enough to be able to still go on their cruise in november! we had soooo much fun. we left from puerto rico and went to Barbados, St. Lucia, St. Maarten, St. Thomas and.... shoot i forgot the 5th one. oh well i am hoping to post about that trip soon and i will remember eventually!

we have been painting our house and that has been quite the process. sean is such a saint and such a hard worker for doing this for me. i have been sick of the beige everything that we have for so long. we have the house halfway done and it is looking so good. i cant wait to have it all done.

overall life is going pretty good. we are very blessed and very lucky. we definitely have our hard days but that is life right? i am hoping to get back into blogging more regularly. i want to document this pregnancy like i did with bens and i want to blog about our trip! i am going to go to bed for now though! goodnight!!

little life update.

6 months ago from this exact minute i was walking the halls of the hospital with sean. moaning in so much pain. having intense contractions that were 2 minutes apart but not making any progress. i literally felt like my hips and back were going to break in half. it was the most painful night of my life. and it has been a painful 6 months if i am being completely honest. i have always promised i would be real and open on here. but on that note, if i am being completely honest, he has brought me more joy than i ever thought possible. i love being his mom. he is the happiest, saddest baby in the whole world, haha. i tell people that he is kind of bipolar. he is very dramatic in his emotions. which is hard when he is unhappy, but when he is happy? gosh, it sure is amazing. his smile is infectious.

i plan to write a 6 month post eventually, but he doesn't have his 6 month appointment for a couple more weeks. i will probably still write it and just update after i get some stats on him. we have confirmed finally that he is definitely allergic to milk. had i known he wasn't just intolerant to it, but actually allergic, i might have tried to keep pumping. but let's be honest, completely cutting dairy out of my diet would probably be impossible. i am sad it took 6 months to learn all this but i am happy we finally know. i know it's not like the worst thing in the world. i am not trying to be dramatic about it. it was just hard for us to diagnose because he really does still have acid reflux. he is now on soy again, but this time a soy that he seems to tolerate. he is drinking double what he used to just within a matter of days. it is pretty neat to see. so many people have commented lately on how happy he is. when we go to church he usually screams and cries the whole time. this last week? we could not get him to stop smiling and laughing. it was such a sweet change. i know there is a happy baby in there. it has been nice getting to see more of him these past few days. he still is very dramatic when he is unhappy, but that's okay. he has quite the personality and i can tell he is going to be quite the social butterfly.

sean and i are doing great! sean is just working like crazy and i have been working a few hours each day this week. i have been answering phones while the receptionist is on vacation. i am going to go back to work 2 days a week and then on 2 of the days that i am not working, i will be watching my nephew jack! his mom sarah will be watching ben on the days that i work. it's a nice little trade off and a win win for us both! we both get to know our nephews better and make some extra cash!

we have been toying with the idea of selling our house and moving closer to orem. property values have gone up quite a bit in our neighborhood and we have had lots of people on our street make some good money by selling. we aren't sure that this is the right time for us, but we also like the idea of making some money off this house. we never planned on living here forever. we will most likely stick around, but it is nice to know that we can sell if we need to! we love living in this neighborhood. we love this ward. i just wish we could move it closer to orem!

let's see.. what else is new? oh yes! i almost forgot! i am going to washington D.C. in a month! i am so excited! i have never been! my friend juli has rheumatoid arthritis and has been selected to go speak to congress about it! she just had a baby 3 days before ben but she invited me to go along with her for a girls trip! i booked my flight today. i am so excited. we will be there for 5 days. just her and i! we have lots of fun things planned! she has been before so she knows the ropes. i got a great deal on a flight and her friend hooked us up with a deal on a hotel! 2 of our nights are free thanks to her for getting selected to speak, but we decided we might as well stay a few extra days and make it worth it! i will miss ben and sean so much, but it will be nice to get away and to possibly get some sleep. i have such a sweet husband for letting me go do this.

that is about all that is new with us right now! i haven't updated on all of us in a while so i thought it was time. this blog has turned into benny's blog :) that's okay though. he is pretty darn cute! also, it seems like all i do in my free time is play around with this blog layout. just like old times. i will admit it has been nice to get my mind off things and it has given me something to do this week at work while i answer phones.  i better get to bed though! ben will probably wake up soon haha. good night!

life lately

• i have finally gotten motivated to start working on the nursery. i am ordering the crib tomorrow and plan to get that faux sheepskin rug. i have purchased those deer antlers from hobby lobby like the one in that picture, i just need to paint them. trying to decide if i want to do that bronze color like she did, or paint them a different color. the nursery is going to be very neutral colors. browns, blacks, whites, creams, with a few pops of gray and mustard yellow. well, at least that is what i am saying for now. i have a beautiful afghan that my grandma made me a few years ago that will go perfect with all those colors. i wasn't planning to really have a theme for the nursery, but the more i get into this, the more i realize it's becoming an animal theme. but kind of in a more adult way if that makes sense. i have tons of elephant figurines and african stuff. throw in the antlers and the sheepskin rug? yeah. it's animal themed in a subtle way. i guess..
• i ordred the diaper bag! it's a men's diaper bag actually. and it's a little pricier than i probably every would have spent, but my sister maddie really wanted the diaper bag to be a gift from her so she gave me a budget and told me to order one. she is the best! i love the bag. it's from the petunia pickle bottom men's collection. i read great reviews about it and love it because sean can carry it around if needed and not feel as silly.
• weeks 21-23. i almost feel like i look smaller in week 23... hmm. oh well! i went to the dr. again this week and plan to do a separate post on that tomorrow for the official 24 week post. seems like i am just gonna post every time i go to the doctor. works for me! i can handle that. i would love to update every week.. but i just don't have the time or energy. so expect more on this tomorrow... or sometime this weekend.
• we went to sundance a couple of weekends ago with my family. it is so beautiful up there! we ate at the owl bar. i think i had the best burger i've had in a long time there. then we rode the ski lift and enjoyed the changing leaves!
• moses has been as adorable as ever lately. he is truly one of my best friends. i know i always say it.. but i mean it. he is family. he is good people. i love him so much. he thinks he is human. he also thinks he is little. he loves the car so much and freaks out anytime he hears us say car. i love it. him and sean are my best buds. can't wait for baby boy to join in on the fun!
• we have received some awesome stuff for the baby lately. everyone is so generous! i finally found out who sent me the diapers and wipes! let's just say she knows who she is and i love her to death! you are amazing girl! thank you so much!!!
• heartburn. ughh. i hate it. but my friend juli (who is 2 weeks behind me in her pregnancy) gave me some almonds and seriously? they do work! and they are good for you! thanks juli!!
• my mom took me shopping for some maternity clothes and she had to get us that little elephant. it is so soft. i love it! more on the maternity clothes in the next pregnancy update...

i will update more about the pregnancy later, like i said. things have been going pretty good for us though! sean's sister amanda (also one of my best friends) and her sweet family just moved away to vernal! we are super sad and miss them so much but know that it's the best thing for them. devin and katie moved away too so it's been an interesting adjustment having everyone so far but i know we will all still see each other as often as we can! work is busy, the weather is cooling off. we are enjoying that! i watched all three seasons of vampire diaries in a 2 week period and i am soooo excited for the season premiere tonight. sean thinks i am crazy. i am obsessed. i never thought i would like a show like that. haha. lets see.. what else? oh, we are really working hard to pay off sean's student loans. it's been interesting trying to do that and add in the cost of getting ready for the baby.. but we feel it will be worth it! we are so close to being done! 2/3 of it has been paid off since he graduated! just a little bit more to go! we are trying to do this so that if i can't go back to work after the baby, or if i only go back part time it will make things easier since his loans are no longer on hold starting this month. we have no clue who can or will be able to watch the baby, so we are just trying to plan for that in case we can't find anyone. it will all work out how it's supposed to though! well, that's it for now! off to a wedding reception! it's been a busy week... the whole rest of this month is crazy!

mirror mirror...

here is another round of crappy cell phone pictures as of late.

1. we got a new TV with some costco gift cards we got from our work for christmas. they are the best! it is a pretty sweet tv. before we had like a 12 inch screen tv. seriously. it was smaller than my computer screen and my sister always made fun of it. this TV can hook up to the internet just by pushing a button. you can scroll twitter, facebook, yahoo, and all this other stuff while watching tv. i didn't even know all this was possible. it wasn't even that much either. my favorite app is netflix. i know we are late on the bandwagon but we didn't want to get it because we didn't want to have to get a wii or hook up the computer to it just to use it. we have been obsessed with documentaries on it. we have watched Babies, Maxed Out, and King of Kong (documentary about the world championship of donkey kong. awesome.) so far. all awesome. and i am finally catching up on Grey's Anatomy since i had to break up with most of my TV shows when sean and i got engaged. needless to say, i am a happy camper with the TV. also, netflix gives you your first month free so i thought that was neat. also, one more reason why this TV is awesome? it may or may not survive a face forward fall off of the foot of the bed. don't ask. but it still works.

2. i've been kind of into creating fake floral arrangements lately. i think it's because we got new, really nice desks at work. and now that i have shelves and stuff that i can decorate.. i have been branching out and putting little floral arrangements all over my house. the downside is sean won't let me put up any shelves..so i just have all these floral arrangements sitting on the counter. anyway, i made this one for my nightstand. i love it.

3 & 4. my new mirror! i picked it up at the antique store on saturday. i think it is pretty sweet! $20 bucks and a good cleaning later and now we finally have *something* in our bare entry way. now we just need a cool hutch or table or something.

5 & 6. how could you not love that sweet little face? i love this dog more than all the  candy in the world. even if he did just finish completely devouring his 3rd bed. i guess it wore him out so he decided to take a nap by the christmas tree. adorable.

7. our house with christmas decor. sean never turns the christmas lights on when he is home alone. DRIVES ME NUTS. i leave them on all day when i  am home. i don't care if it is light out. i always have a christmas movie or christmas music on too. sean thinks i am a little OCD about christmas. but i don't care. i love it. there are less than 2 weeks left til christmas and dag nabbit i am going to enjoy it.

8. my two favorite things. just chillin on the couch watching the jazz game. i love them.

just some thoughts... and bambi.

so last night sean and i were talking about life and how crazy this year has been. how we keep thinking it will slow down and it never seems to. neither of us have been in the best of moods lately. not sure why, but he has been super stressed with school, work, and getting our yard ready so we can put grass in before winter. i have been stressed with work and sometimes all i want to do is just come home and take a nap but i have to entertain moses. i know that sounds silly of me, but he is in such a needy, whiny phase right now. i don't blame him. he sits home alone all day. he just wants some attention and i find myself getting short with him. i don't like being like this. i don't like letting work and other things affect my attitude so much. i love my job. don't get me wrong. but sometimes the work just ever seems to end. i am grateful though. when i am busier? i get paid more. so it is worth it. it's just exhausting some days. sean and i have yet to hang up anything in our new house. we haven't painted a thing, or put a hole in any walls. sometimes i just want to stop and enjoy the moment.

i was reading a post by my dear friend emily today, and was reminded that i do need to just stop and live in the moment. she is going through the invitro process to try and have her 2nd baby and she just found out she is pregnant! i am so happy for her and so excited for her little family. i can't even imagine what it would be like to go through that. as i was reading her post, i was reminded of something she said a couple of years ago when she was pregnant with her first child. she just wanted to enjoy every part of being pregnant. even the bad stuff, she was grateful for. because what a blessing it was to even be pregnant. her saying that always stuck with me. i thought it was so cool that she said that. i love her attitude and outlook on life, and i want to live each day like that. even the bad days. because even the bad days are days where i have a house, a job, a wonderful husband, and an amazing family. it's easy to let the stress and craziness of the world make us think that we aren't good enough. or that our lives aren't good enough. but i don't want to live like that anymore. anyway, as we were talking, sean told me that i seemed happier when i blogged more. so i am going to try to do that. i just need to get out some thoughts..

i have been feeling pretty down on myself lately. i know we all get that way. but i have let a few things from my past, and some other things really get me down lately. some recent events have come my way and i have chosen to be down about it. but i know that won't change anything. i just have to suck it up, and be a big girl. because at the end of the day.. i know deep down that in the end... none of that stuff will matter anymore.. and justice will be served where justice is due. i know i am being very vague.. so i am sorry about that. but i just needed to get some thoughts out. i also feel that i have gotten the wrong reputation at work..and it has been tough on me. i don't like being the girl with an attitude. i guess i have been stepped on so much in my past, that i have tried so hard to just stand up for myself, and i am afraid it has shed a negative light on me. i don't like when people don't like me. who does like that though? let's just say i am working really hard to just try and be a positive, happy person. i miss my old self, and i am tired of letting my past creep back into my life and anger me. i don't want to be an angry person. so right now my real focus is to try and let go of all of that.

anyway.. i didn't mean to bore anyone or be a debbie downer in this post.. but those are just some thoughts i have had recently. so how about i talk about what is good that is going on in our lives right now eh? well first off, we are getting grass this weekend! sean and his dad have been working so hard on getting our yard ready for grass. it has been quite the process, and has taken up several weekends.. but i am happy to say their hard work has paid off, and i may have helped a little bit in the process. i know..shocking eh? it will be so nice to have grass because right now it is just dirt out side, and Mosey tracks it in and it just seems like we can't keep the place clean.

in other news? well sean sets a goal every year to try something new or get a new hobby. last year was golf, and this year he wanted to go on the deer hunt. so he bought a gun, got his hunter's safety, and then this last weekend he went out with some buddies and he got a deer! a four point or something? not really sure what that means. he invited me to go, but to be honest i would rather sit on the couch in my PJ's then trek outside up a mountain in the snow looking for bambi to shoot. by the way sean thought bambi was a girl. it was pretty funny and my whole family was making fun of him including me. but the truth is i kind of thought bambi was a girl too. don't tell anyone i said that. what boy deer is named bambi? i am sorry but that is a stripper name, and most strippers are girls. and if your name is bambi, i am not judging because it's a beautiful name regardless of your occupation. and if you have that occupation? totally fine by me! i don't judge. i just don't really think it is a male name. that is all. maybe disney didn't really think that one through?

anyway, i will shut up, but here are some pictures of sean and his deer!

look how cute he is! i am talking about the deer. but sean is pretty cute too.. ;)

anyway, that is all that is new with us! i am happy to be alive. and i just want sean to know that i love him so much. i know he doesn't read this thing all the time. but sean? thanks for putting up with me. thanks for being my better half. thanks for making me want to be better. you were sent to me for a reason. and i will forever be grateful for that. you are the best thing about my life. never forget that.

finally..... an update.

hey guys. it's me mosey. i prefer moe now. it sounds more distinguished. wouldn't you think? look how big i have gotten. i am about 40 lbs now. it has been a crazy month. with me losing my manhood. my owners moving us to some new house without grass. i know!? WTF! who does that? would you like pooping and peeing on dirt? i don't think so. so i sometimes do it in the house now. big deal? i am finally going to the door now when i have to go. it makes my owners happy so whatever. they give me more treats when i do that so i guess i will cooperate. okay let me rephrase that. the chick gives me lots of treats. the dude? not so much. but he takes me on lots of walks and she doesn't. so i guess it works out.

the day that they moved me out of that little old apartment i got so sick. i had diarrheah alllllll over the kitchen floor. like all over. and i rolled in it and it got all over my toys. the dude came home and was like "ohhhh gross!" and he plugged his nose and ran outside and was dry heaving. then he took me outside and sprayed me off with the hose and i was like "come on man! i am soooo sick. and now you are spraying me off with cold water? you know i hate water! how cruel  can you be? do you want someone to do that to you?" anyway. the chick came home and the dude was like "i can't go in there. it is sooo bad." he looked like he was going to cry so the chick stepped up and was all "i can clean it up. i used to work at hogi yogi and had to pull dirty XXXL underwear and diapers out of a toilet once." so she went in there and didn't come back out til it was done. that was pretty cool. the guy stayed inside til she finished. i never went back in that house. i wonder if that is why they moved us?

anyway, i like the new place. i rode on a horse. it was nuts. i am hoping we get some grass soon because i hate peeing on dirt. i just like to eat dirt. not pee on it. we will see what happens. the owers are good in case you were wondering. the chick has been super busy at work lately. she hardly ever gets to play with me and it makes me sad but the dude has been around. working on the house and stuff. they don't have internet yet. and won't until next saturday. so maybe then they will update you on their lives then. it's been a wild and crazy month. peace out dawgs. ha. get it? dawgs? i kill myself.

-Moe

i am okay.

i have been kind of a negative nelly lately. maybe not publicly or anything. but in my own head. i work in the mortgage industry and it's really hard not to think about buying a home every second of every day. i can't stop thinking about money and how i feel like i am wasting money renting. i added up the money we have spent on rent since we have been married and i wanted to throw up. sean and i have looked at a few houses. nothing that we love. we go back and forth on if we want to buy a home or keep renting. are we ready to make that big of a commitment? then we decide no, and we will keep renting until sean finishes school. but then i see these kids  younger than me coming in and buying a home and somehow have $50,000 in savings and don't have a job and their parents are co-signing with them and gifting them money and i can't comprehend it.

it's so hard not to compare. it has become an obsession for me. and it is unhealthy. and it is making me unhappy comparing myself to other people. i love the independence of not needing help from my parents. even though i know they would help us in a heartbeat if we needed it . i just keep getting upset at a lot of things that i shouldn't get upset about. i get jealous when i hear of people getting financial aid to go to school when sean and i can't qualify for any of that. because according to the government we make just barely too much and i kid you not we do not make a lot of money. it's like i would have to quit my job for us to be given free money. it seems wrong to me. more than anything i am upset that i let all of this affect my attitude. why am i being a jealous person? i know it is human nature to be jealous. but i hate being jealous. i am trying really hard not to compare myself to others. i decided that i just need to compare how i am now, to how i am at my best. i know it's easier said than done. but i am going to  do it.

i am okay with not having a lot of money. we are incredibly blessed. i mean we do have savings, and considering the economy i feel really good about having something saved. i don't know if i would say that we are poor, but i could be better with my money. i am more than okay with not getting help from my parents. i am okay with buying western family brand foods over the more popular labels. i am okay with eating cereal for dinner because it's cheaper than anything else. i am okay with keeping my clothes in my broken bedroom furniture that i have had since i was five. yes. we use my white girly bedroom furniture that i have had since i was five. i am okay not having a headboard for our bed.

i am okay using shower curtains for closet doors. i don't mind that sean can break into our house with a credit card. okay maybe i am not fine with that. but it's okay. we have renters insurance. i am fine with using suave products on my hair. even though the lady at the mall told me i was INSANE for doing that. i felt stupid and bought $20 shampoo and conditioner. and guess what? i haven't noticed a difference and it only lasted me like a week. p.s. who makes a smaller conditioner bottle than shampoo bottle??? doesn't everyone use more conditioner than shampoo??

i am fine buying cheap purses. i regret buying my expensive purse. no i really do. it is cursed. it has been nothing but a nightmare. i baby the purse to death. i never put it on the ground. and every time that i wear it my jeans stain the purse blue. so i put a "diaper" on it. true story. i paper clipped a paper towel to the back of it so that my jeans would stop rubbing off on them.



and then i took it to eclipse last night. i even put the purse in a separate cloth bag. you know those "green" bags? so it was double bagged(haha). and some dude talked me into buying a stupid twilight cup. but it had jacob on it without a shirt so i felt better about that. and since i paid a $1 more for it i decided i would take it home and give it to sean. well after the movie got out i had to go to the bathroom. i didn't want to throw away the cup. i had about half of the drink still in it, but i was able to set it in the bag with my purse and hang it up while i peed. well i went to wash my hands... and the cup tipped over. and spilled all over my entire purse and camera. it soaked through the purse "diaper". moral of the story? i am fine with a cheap crappy purse that i don't have to baby. and i am also fine with a regular "cheap" $4 cup without a half naked dude on it versus the $5 one. i came home and gave the cup to my dog anyway. and my dog cried all night. and i am fine with that too. because he just wanted someone to rub his belly.

anyway. i am fine with my life. no scratch that. i am more than fine with my life. it might not be perfect. in fact it is far from it. but it's mine. and i am lucky to have what i have. i'll take the crying whiny dog, and the earwig infested rented house, and the broken bedroom furniture and the diaper purse. as long as it means i get to be with sean. i'll take anything that comes with that. the colon problems and all. all the money in the world couldn't make me any happier than sean makes me. i don't care if it's cheesy. i am fine with cheesy... sometimes. and do me a favor? don't compare yourself to anyone but yourself at your best. it is so easy with blogging and social networking to compare ourselves with everyone else but it is not worth it. no ones life is perfect even if they try to make it appear that way.



okay i am done ranting. i haven't been in the blog mood much anymore. not sure if it has lost its luster for me or what.. i hardly get on the internet except to post real quick and check my email. so i am sorry i hardly comment on anyone's blogs anymore. i love you all though and am grateful for all the comments and support we receive. you guys are all awesome. i will try to be a better bloggy friend soon.

soul mates.

my dog is a dog after my own heart. he is my soul mate. i mean besides sean. i think. ;) i mean he will sit and watch the hills with me. he goes to the door when he needs to go out. he gives us the look of shame when he goes to the bathroom. i love it. love it. he loves sleeping, and he hates when people put him in laundry hampers. just like me! he likes eating, and laying in my bed. is it a coincidence that we both like doing that? i think not. today i brought home some photo prints that my sister had for me back when she re-did my bridals. i let mosey look at the pictures and he tried to lick them. i totally took that as a compliment. 

mosey is like sean though in the fact that they LOVE mornings. and they fall asleep quick at night. meh. not my cup of tea but whatever. i love these guys. sean and i went out of town this weekend and i am so sad that i could not find my camera charger anywhere. actually i still can't find it and have looked everywhere but am trying to pretend that i haven't so that i don't get too upset about it. anyway, we sent to st. george with some awesome friends from work. okay it was sean's boss and his wife and some other bankers but they were so awesome and we consider them friends. not work people. co-people if you will. we went horseback riding, and ate A LOT. we went hiking which i totally try to pretend that i am really good at and love, but have learned to accept the fact that i probably would just rather sit in a nice air conditioned basement with a diet dr.pepper and a movie. i will say it. i would probably rather literally hear myself get fat by the minute. than be active. and that is sad but whatever. i'll work on it someday i guess. but probably not.

i can't help it though. i just get so depressed when i see how much tanner and energetic sean is than i and it just takes all the fun out of it. ya know what i am saying? why even try to be active and tan? there is no point. someone will always be more of it. like your husband. and that sucks. but i guess is cool cuz at least i married the guy who is all active and responsible and tan and show-offy. as for him? he for sure got the short end of the stick. at least i am the smart one. 

i love my bread, and i love my butter. but most of all? (name what show/book that line is from) 

i love....

my sean and my dog because they are awesome. and mosey can't tan so at least i have that on him.   oh and i think i still love sean even when he lets me know that a bug crawled down my shirt. after he watches it happen. like i mean the thing was actually crawling all over my boobs. all over. and he tells me after all casually just like he would tell me that i look pretty. "work was good, oh and a bug just crawled down your shirt." i freaked out and he said, "would it make you feel better if i told you that i was jealous of the bug?" thanks sean. i think i still love you even when you do that.