boobs and shapes.

this weekend we took it pretty easy.. i've been exhausted from work and sean thinks his school is hard or something..? haha jk. i know it is but sometimes i like to pretend that my work is harder than his school and work combined. i know it isn't. but how else am i going to feel good about myself? anyway, on saturday i went with my parents and my aunt and uncle and baby cousin to go see how my grandma was doing. she seriously looks AMAZING. i was blown away. she says that she feels no pain at all. she doesn't feel sick. she is going to fight this lung cancer with everything in her. she will get a second opinion if they tell her she can't do chemo. i think she is awesome and she is my hero right now. we went over there and she was on oxygen but acted like that was no big deal. she stood up the whole time, was so vibrant and bubbly and i loved it.  i have to tell this awesome story though. i hope she doesn't mind me telling but i thought it was hilarious.

so she has had to have a double mastectomy because of breast cancer that she has had before. they put in some implants and one day..before she had gone to the dr. and before she found out all of this was going on, she had woken up and noticed that her boob was missing! it was as if it had disappeared! it was the craziest thing and she just sort of laughed it off and wondered if it had anything to do with how she had been feeling lately and if it had something to do with the lung infection they thought she might have. so when she went into the dr. for her first visit.. she said to the dr. "i have lost my boob!" 

the dr. shocked just looked at her and said, "WHAT? you lost your boob? your boob is gone?" 

apparently the implant had deflated and the dr. said that since it was saline it wasn't a big deal and would just exit the body with other bodily fluids.

well they had ran some tests and thought she might have an infection or fungus in her lungs but decided they were going to go in for surgery and see if they could find anything. well i just have to say that my grandma is pretty awesome. she had this grand idea to tape this to her chest so that the doctors would see it when they went to open up her chest for surgery.

it is kind of hard to read, but also super awesome because she actually made the effort to go to the store and get it laminated. it says:

IS THERE A PLASTIC SURGEON IN THE ROOM?

COULD SOMEONE PLEASE FIND MY LEFT

BREAST? I SEEM TO HAVE MISPLACED IT. I

HAD IT A COUPLE WEEKS AGO!

MAYBE MY CHEST FRIGHTENED MY LUNGS &

THAT'S THE PROBLEM!

DR. KARWANDE- PLEASE BE GENTLE WITH MY SURGERY!

WE DON'T WANT MY CHEST DISFIGURED!

haha seriously! how cool is she? i guess she chickened out and didn't end up using 

it but i thought it was pretty funny. even though the surgery didn't quite bring the news

that she or any of us wanted to hear, she still has an awesome attitude. 

i truly believe that having the right attitude can do wonders.

she is truly an inspiration to me at this time. she is stubborn,

and a fighter. i love that. i want to be more like that.

i also got to hang out with my baby cousin ryan!

isn't he so cute?

this weekend i bought some new skirts. 3 to be exact. (hey, i need them for church) i was pretty excited about it and had to come home and show sean after we saw shutter island. that movie is pretty crazy by the way! i still am trying to figure it all out. anyway, we came home last night and i put one of the skirts on. sean says to me, 

"looks good! it makes you look like the perfect pear shape."

pear shape. wait a minute. isn't that the look that most of us are trying to not look like? isn't hourglass the look we are going for? i immediately burst into tears and tried to explain to him that this wasn't a good thing. it was not the look i was going for and that pear shape, apple shape, triangle shape are all not what a girl wants to hear. i told him that hourglass was the shape we want to be and he said that was what he meant but the funny thing was that when he said pear shape he made a pear shape with his hands. when i explained to him the hourglass shape he said that was what he meant but i knew he meant pear. 

i couldn't believe i was crying over it. it's been one of those weeks that i just feel blah about my looks. i know that all you girls can relate. it makes no sense. there really is nothing different about how i look but i just haven't been feeling super confident lately. i want to blame it on PMS but in this case it would be like Pre-PMS or Post PostMS and maybe this is just how i am all the time. i don't know. i know sean was not trying to say i looked bad. i think it's funny how us girls can be so self conscious about our looks and sean will proudly lift up his shirt and play with his stomach and do the hairy bagel like it ain't no thang. i want to be more like a boy. he laid in bed with me while i cried it out..and then he spoke in spanish to me the rest of the night and made me laugh til i cried happy tears. he kept saying that i looked like this one word in spanish but he wouldn't tell me what it meant. turns out it meant witch (because my hair was a mess) and it reminded me of the time he told me that i looked liked medusa.

i brought that up and he said, "what if i think medusa is hot?"

i said, "i specifically remember you telling me that it looked like i had snakes all over my head."

he said, "chloe, that could be hot. like a model with snakes all over her."

he sure knows how to make me feel better.. by making me laugh like crazy. i forgot all about it and wore my skirt to church today and he said i looked great.. like the perfect hourglass. i have taught him well :)

i didn't get a picture of my new skirt. actually sean took one but of course i didn't like it. but i wanted to show off the pretty flower that my friend brittany made and the necklace that my friend lauren made :)

p.s. why do us girls even care about freaking shapes? 

who decided pear shape was bad? 

i freaking like pears. and apples. 

you can't even eat an hourglass.