Monday, December 7, 2009

the neighborhood.

it's no secret that we have an interesting neighborhood.
sometimes it scares the bajeezus out of me but for the most
part it freakin' rocks.

we have the lady with way too many blow up figurines.
by way too many, i mean like enough to decorate 65 houses.
but that is okay. we love her for it.

a few days after we moved in, we were having some "issues".
not with each other. but with our couches.
we have been married for almost 9 months, and we have
had 4 sets of used couches in our apartment.
the first set? well they were like 30 years old.
they were rad looking. but they had an interesting smell.
may or may not be from some animals, but that is okay :)
we put them outside with a sign saying "free couches" and they were
gone a few hours later.

the second set? well they had been in my parents backyard all winter.
for some reason we thought we could make them work.
they were really nice looking.
forest green sexy pleather.
i loved them.
however, so did a whole family of spiders.
and by family i mean like a bajillion.
we tried to clean them out. we sprayed them down.
we bug bombed them.
we thought they were all gone.
but neither of us ever dared sit on the couches.
they looked pretty. but they were useless.
we hate spiders more than we love couches.

sometimes people came over and sat on our couch.
sean and i never did. i am sure they wondered why.
you wanna know what is hard?
trying not to freak out while watching a spider
crawl behind your friends back.
we didn't want to create any scenes.
we never said anything..

i feel awful about it.
but one time at work a spider was in my hair.
i don't know how it got there. but i was sitting at my desk and my sister came over.
i looked up at her and she had a look of terror in her face.
she didn't have to say anything.
i just knew.
i lost it.
i started ripping off my clothes.
i was jumping up and down screaming.
i ripped out my ponytail and shook my head around.
i ended up on the floor crying/ laughing.

there were 2 men in the room.
they said nothing.
my sister was laughing so hard.
i had to go take a bunch of zoloft after that.
so yeah. i don't like spiders.
i think if there is one on me?
i would rather not know. just let it fall off of me later or something.

one day we came home and like 6 spiders were on the couch.
i flipped. so did sean.
we put them out on the lawn and 2 minutes later our
neighbor across the street was sitting on it smoking a cigarette.
he didn't speak english. so sean went out and spoke spanish with him.
he was "just chillin. waitin for my amigo's to come haul the couches."

he asked why we were getting rid of them. since they were so nice.
i am not sure what sean said but i don't really wanna know
because i feel guilty just thinking about it.
oh well. life goes on.

i fear that anytime we leave something out on the lawn,
the neighbors will think it is free game.
one day we were putting in our new mattress and had to leave it outside for a
second. i caught my neighbor eyeing it across the street.
i ran out and sat it.
no one takes my freaking mattress.
that was my first big girl purchase.

if we ever have kids?
i will not let them play on the lawn.
unless they are really getting on my nerves..

anyway, today i came home from work.
it was snowing, and was cold.
i was excited to see that someone had plowed my driveway.
i got out of my car...
and i heard music.
it was the ice cream man.
there is a ton of snow outside! it's like 5 degrees!?
he sat there for 20 minutes...
really expecting someone to come by some ice cream?
i am not sure if i think he is crazy, or awesome.
or crazy-awesome.

( i can't lie. i like ice cream. i was tempted to buy some, but then
i remembered that would make me crazier than him)

i decided that i am going to start a business
called Startrucks.
it will be like Starbucks,
and an ice cream truck combined. except i would
not sell ice cream. i'd sell hot stuff. get it?

would you buy hot chocolate or coffee from me
if i drove by in the morning to your house?

is that not the most genius thing i have ever said?

p.s. Sean just said that we should iron the drapes.
umm? should i be worried?


Anonymous said...

love it
thanks for sharing
and thanks for the sweet comments

check out my blog @

Kristin said...

I would come outta my house for a latte or hot choco in a second. And I live in Florida. Ah ha ha

Michael & Mindy said...

I haven't read this post yet. I am just commenting on it because I'm too lazy to scroll down. But I will!

WATCH THE FREAKING MILEY VIDEO! You will be hooked. The song is stuck in my head non-stop though. Just a warning. But I love it. It is catchy I guess. Michael says it's lame enough that even he could write for Miley. But hello. "boom, boom, clap. boomdy clapdy clap" is a pretty difficult line to write. I don't have a reason. Just watch it. Have you seen the Hannah Montana movie? One of my favorites. PS, are you a fan of Elf? You seem like you would be. I want to watch it. It's been a few years...

Michael & Mindy said...

Who says drapes? Blast it Sean! So what is the story with the current set? Mice or something??

Juli said...

I want to live in your neighborhood. It sounds like an adventure everyday!!! I've been blogging lately! I also added a pre-blog that you can add to your google reader so you know when I update my blog. :)
And tell martha stewart to calm down on the ironing of the drapes. it's not necessary.

Michael & Mindy said...

I do remember your post about Elf. That must be why I asked about it. 2600 times. And Sean calculating. Haha. Classic.

I hope you learn to love the song. I seriously canNOT get it out of my head. I wake up singing it. It's getting out of control.

May or may not have seen HSM? Uh..hello! #3 is like my favorite movie ever!!

my name is lauren. said...

"we hate spiders more than we love couches."

this is maybe my favorite quote of the day. maybe even year. it's so good i think i'm going to add it to the quotes section of my facebook. i was seriously laughing out loud while craig looked over at me like i was crazy.

also....i would totally buy hot cocoa from you. such a genius idea! actually....maybe you should also sell chocolate chai, because i just bought some yesterday and had some tonight with little, mini marshmallows in it and it was SO good. like.... changed my life good. if you lived in oregon i would make you some....even though it's not snowing here. but it is like 20 degrees. way too cold. 20 degrees + no snow = sucktastic. should definitely be worried about sean wanting to iron the drapes. i don't know if i've ever met anyone who ironed their drapes, and i know a lot of OCD people. heck...i AM an OCD person. DON'T DO IT SEAN!

p.s. thanks for letting me know about sam's blog. for some reason, blogger sucks and didn't update that you or sam had posted. lame. blogger is super annoying sometimes.

love you chlo!!!

Rasha @ and this is what she said... said...

Your so funny.

I want snow, all I got here is RAINNNN...

I'd buy some hot cocoa and coffee from you.

Pretty funnny about the couches, I HATE spiders

iron the drapes, LMAo!

Jenni said...

That is sooo genious! Seriously, do it! I'll do your marketing!!!!! Although, you may have to change the name. Starbucks might just sue you!
haha, that's so crazy about your neighbors! We only have one crazy neighbor. He lets his dog out on its own all the time and then the dog runs away every night and we hear him yelling for it and looking around.... I really want to take the dog in...but I fear it would start some kinf of neighborhood feud... hmmm maybe if I cut his hair and dye it (heck I could just brush it for once! poor guy....) and the neighbor won't recognize him!

haha, and on the night before christmas comment...yet ANOTHER reason why we are twins! Seriously! The possibilities never end!

Allison said...

Um. I would DEFINITELY buy from Startrucks! :D And I hate spiders. Just reading about them is making me feel all tingly and icky.

Jes said...

Ohh please come by my house, I will definatly buy tea from you. You will be selling tea, right?!

Elizabeth Marie said...

Startrucks?!! That is my dream come TRUE!

You are hiiilarious. I know the spider look of terror. Worst thing ever!

The Huffakers said...

I totally don't know you but I am pretty sure you are the sister I never had (and never will have). We both love junk food and sweets and laying on the couch all day. Only difference is I'm the fat one haha. Sorry if this is random I just wanted to say you rock and I love reading your blog. If it bugs you that I read it I promise I'll stop so you don't think I'm some kind of stalker.

Selma said...

Startrucks!!!! I would definitely buy from that one! :D And I so hate spiders. I just imagines you jumping up and down trying to get rid of that nasty animal...yuck. Shivers! Brrr... :(
and now? do you have mice or something, instead of spiders? or everything's under control? kinda exciting.

Jenni said...

and that really worked? Was your computer under warranty at the time? That would be so awesome if they would send me one!!
PS-Whats your email address?

Sam said...

I would DEFINITELY buy hot chocolate from you! Especially if it was as good as St Louis Bread Co hot chocolate! Or Panera bread.. whatever it's called in other places than St Louis! I want some hot chocolate now..

And that is really scary about the spider situation. Ickkk I HATE spiders!!! Bugs in general.. I am much mored scared of things small that I can't see rather than large animals that I clearly would have fair warning of. I'd rather run from a bear than have spiders crawling on me. Ahhh okay I have to stop typing about it now!

mart and lu said...

wow i think after i would have found a load of spiders in my couch i would resent couches forever! oh my.

The Little Princess Bowtique said...

So funny! You know the drapes thing must come from out side of the family because you know what...........I am guilty of that one! Now we have a steamer and you don't have to take them down to get the wrinkles out........wanna borrow it ha ha ha I know you would jump right on that. Your neighborhood is nuts! At least you always have something to watch and laugh at.

What the Hale's?! said...

Don't even worry. I am always down for ice cream no matter what time of year it is. Um... I especially love Ice cream trucks. It's like magic on wheels. The best time of my life was when my aunt was an ice cream truck driver and she came to visit me every week in that bad boy. Gotta love it.

The Huffakers said...

AH! I'm so excited you left me a comment back. Usually I comment and I never hear back haha. You can follow my boring blog anytime. Btw, your neighbor is awesome... crazy but awesome.

Sydney Swift said...

you're so lucky! we won't even get two inches of snow in January. *sigh*
and i would so buy hot drinks from a Startruck.
best. idea. ever.

Stacey said...

You are brilliant! I would absolutely buy drinks from your coffee truck. In fact, knowing that the coffee truck was coming by would probably motivate me to get up on time :)

samnhal said...

Spiders = the worst. We were infested with them when the weather got warm. Darn basements...Luckily some bug spray got rid of them. I would have given away the couches too if the spiders didn't stop. It kind of makes me queasy just thinking about them coming out of the couch.
P.S. I would buy from Startrucks, even though my hubby would be mad because I have 2 huge Stephen's containers at home, but I'd do it anyway.

anna said...

you never told us what happened to the third set of couches.

and i'm in love with your startrucks truck...but only if you stop at my house. and if your cocoa is made with one of those whip thingys like a blender but smaller and it heats up the cocoa while whipping it. have you seen those? maybe you got one as a wedding gift? maybe you wanna lend it to me until you get your startrucks up and running...???

The Socialite said...

OMG! What a fantastic idea! I'll go in on it with you! lol

We have a tiny love seat coach from IKEA that we could afford for $150 and that's pretty good for us because those suckers are expensive!

Kjrsten said...

you are freaking hilarious! I love your neighbors! If you park your car on the street and I come have a cig and sit on the bumper- does that mean I got dibs?>