Monday, November 9, 2009

you're breaking my heart chuck.

i hate that saying, when it rains it pours. i hate it because it is the truth!

i am trying to be really optimistic and think, "there is always a rainbow after the rain"or whatever the crap that quote is. but it is hard sometimes.
i know i need to change my attitude. clearly. 
but i am pissed off at my car chuck.

chuck norris used to be his name but i don't think it fits anymore.  please excuse me while i be a little bit over-dramatic.  and by a little bit, i mean a lot a bit. hey, we are all entitled to be a little beeotchy at least a few times a month. right? please tell me i am right. anyway,  to let out some steam, i wrote him this letter:

to the thing that is ruining my life right now,

what the heck chuck? i thought we were better friends than this? can't you just buck up, be perfect? and require no maintenance whatsoever? we have had so many good times. lots of fun road trips, we have never been pulled over together. when i drove away from the gas station with the hose still in the tank, that was in the zombie car. and when i hit that dog on christmas? not you. my one and only car accident? not while you were with me. you have been my lucky chuck. and now you are letting me down.

i knew this was bound to happen once i paid you off. you were mine, free and clear. i was so proud. then it all started to go downhill. first the catalytic thingy. then? the the belts need to be changed.  why do cars even have belts? why do you have more than one too? then? the clutch goes out. then you happen to get a flat tire today. WTF. you have been sitting in the driveway immobile! why? because i was sick today and you are not driveable anyway. so how the eff do you get a flat tire suddenly? you have new tires?! did a nail just walk over and push itself into one of your tires? i don't buy it.

oh, and how come this all happens the month that i have to get you registered? what is up with that? if you are mad at me because of that one time i left the raw chicken in the trunk for 3 days in the the summer? well i am sorry. i apologized for that. i bought you febreze and tried to make you feel better. besides, i am the one who had to deal with you smelling like nasty butt for 2 months. i don't even think that would affect you.

okay, am sorry. i need to be more sensitive to your feelings. i should have treated you better.

sean treats his truck betty so good. and i always tease him. but i think he is the smart one. i took you for granite. granted? granite? is that how you spell it? isn't that a stone? anyway, you get what i am saying.

i am sorry. i just have been sick today. me and the bathroom have become frenemies. i shouldn't take everything out on you.

but how about when i wake up magically work? and be awesome? i would greatly appreciate that.

sincerely, apologetically, and still kinda angry,

wow. i'm talking to my car like it is alive. i think i have bigger problems than my car not working . i really do. please pray for sean. it's going to be a fun week.

okay. thanks for joining me in my pity party. i feel better after getting all that out!
i know things could be so much worse. really i do. i am so blessed with what i do have and am grateful to even have a car that has problems. i am grateful to have a job that i can miss when i am sick. i am grateful to have a husband who knows a lot about cars and can save the day. i am grateful to get sick from food because at least i know that i have food to eat. i am grateful for these little trials because i know how many people really care. i am grateful that i have a husband who suggested frozen pizza tonight. because he is that awesome. 

now i am going to go cook a pizza that i will probably throw up, and watch one tree hill. and wait for sean to get home so that we can cheer each other up and make each other laugh.  who needs money and cars right?  no one. okay maybe rappers. but that is all.

also, reading back over this post? i think it is stupid. but i don't even care. blah.


olivia rae said...

haha awww chloeeeeee. i hope you and chuck both get better SO very soon.

Maddie said...

oh chloe, sorry your weekend/monday has sucked! feel better! you missed nothing at work, so don't worry :)

Sam said...

your posts are the best. you should write a book. or become a stand up comedian. either one, i'll be your number one fan! :D

Michael & Mindy said...

I felt the same way after writing my post today. I loved this post though. Totally funny. I laughed out loud at the comment about the car smelling like butt. I love it. That is so gross.

This lady on the news is saying how she LOVES kissing dogs. Sick. Get a freaking life. And a toothbrush.

Sorry your car is crap today. It will be better. Sorry you're sick. I hope you are better by tomorrow so you don't have to miss work. That is cool that you miss work when you are not there. I love my job, but I am always a-ok with a break.

Sorry Sean is at school late. He is, right? That's crappy.

Michael & Mindy said...

I am retarded. I just realized that I think you mean you are grateful you can miss work. Not that you miss being there. Right? Now I'm confused. I am an idiot.

Rasha @ and this is what she said... said...

Sorry you feel sick :( hope you feel better, and I agree chuck SHOULD work...

peee essss. there is NOTHING BETTER than one tree hill!!

my name is lauren. said...

sorry you're feeling sick. no fun. what a good husband sean is to suggest frozen pizza. craig's way too much of a food snob for that :(.

and ummmm...... this is my favorite thing:

"who needs money and cars right? no one. okay maybe rappers. but that is all."

still giggling.

good thing you're not a rapper. but if you were you'd need a good rap name. i'll let you know if i come up with anything.

feel better soon!

my name is lauren. said...


cute new header. i need to figure out how to pimp my blog too.

{megs in wonderland} said...

you might be the funniest girl i know. and when i say "know", i mean, "know through the blogging world but we've never actually met in real life?".

that kind of know.

Michele said...

Bad Chuck, Bad! I hate car problems they screw up everything. I hope you feel better soon. I will pray for Sean:) Lol

Shannon Murphy said...

awww Chuck is being so annoying! hope you guys can rekindle your love! leaving raw chicken in the trunk... classic. i do love this post though.. you're always a funny one!

staceylafayette said...

Ha! That's hilarious! My car is named Reggie. He is an old man, and I think he is dying, so I can totally sympathize with car problems :)

samnhal said...

I'm sorry your sick. Maybe you should write an upset letter to the food that made you sick. My car, Fannie must be friends with Chuck and they have both conspired to have lots of things go wrong at once. Evil beings. Or, evil non-beings. I hope you feel better soon.

Anonymous said...

You are seriously the biggest whiner. I feel bad for your husband. I am glad I don't know you. Grow up.

Anonymous said...

thanks anonymous. i know who you are and i feel like i have been nothing but really nice to your sister and your family. if you don't like my blog, how come you check it all the time? and keep coming back? if i have offended you by documenting my life, i am not going to apologize. clearly you don't know me and can't sense my sarcastic nature. but just so you know i can see everything that you click on on my page. so go ahead, keep coming here only to check out sexy-people or utahbrideblog, since you obviously don't come here to read what i have to say.

Sean Collin Ashby said...

Oh make me laugh. Don't feel sorry for me. Chloe is hilarious and OBVIOUSLY you dont understand or have the ability to sense sarcasim or you would feel other wise. And thats fine... i guess... if ignorance is your thing.

my name is lauren. said...


You are lame.

Chloe you are awesome and we love your sarcasm. It's why we all come back and stalk your blog. Not quite sure why this anonymous person is stalking your blog.

Anonymous...didn't your mother ever teach you "if you don't have something nice to say...cram it.". You should probably spend your time reading less cool blogs.

Love you Chloe...and your impeccable wit!

staceylafayette said...

Yeah, seriously Anonymous, Chloe's sarcasm is what we love. She makes complaining cool :)

olivia rae said...

that's just plain crazy! chloe is my favorite blogger in the world and i love her so very much!!! she makes my days happier and laughier.

Lisa said...

ok, ok, so I wasn't intentionally trying to be mean. I shouldn't have said what I was thinking, but I think sometimes people don't realize really how good they have it.
The only reason I am writing another comment is to apologize and tell you that I am not whomever you think I am. For starters, I don't have any sisters, and I don't know you,I just have randomly looked at your blog through people I know that know you.
Don't blame anyone that you know because I can promise you that you don't know me.
Rest assure this will be my last comment.

Anonymous said...

well i know what blog you came from and it was linked to my friends sisters, and i could see everything you clicked on. sorry for assuming. anyway, if you would have read further on in the post, i said i was so blessed and grateful for the things that i do have. not all of my posts are negative and whiney. but this blog is full of my thoughts, just like yours is "lisa's thoughts". you are entitled to your opinion, but don't say it on my blog if it is going to be mean. maybe you didn't mean it that way, but it is comments like that that are incredibly unnecessary and can ruin someone's day. i am sad that i let a complete strangers comment ruin my day. it is my own fault. i wrote a post a few weeks back about negativity being a choice. i know it is mine. and yesterday i just wanted to let it out because i have had an awful week. my car is going to costs over a thousand to fix, i have had lots of stress and issues at work, and i have been sick. so i'm sorry that you let that affect your day, but i like to think that most of my posts are real and relatable. no one's life is perfect. and this blog is not about my perfect life. is is about my life. the good, the bad. i don't need a stranger to tell me what i need to be grateful for. thanks for fessin' up. but please, don't read my blog anymore. this is why i want to go private. so people like you, who think they "know" me and have the right to tell me to grow up, and that they are glad they don't know me, can't do that. well you know what? i am glad you don't know me. i don't need that shit in my life. oh and thanks for feeling sorry for my husband. i feel sorry for him too.

Michael & Mindy said...

Dear Lisa/Anonymous,

Chloe's blog rocks. I don't even know her and I can tell she's kidding. Sorry you can't. And what is wrong with her explaining her true feelings? That is why so many people love her blog--because she IS real and tells how she's feeling. She's not cheesly and lame and fake like so many other blogs. I wish you would have realized that. I feel bad that you didn't. And I feel bad that you made her feel bad by telling her to grow up. She doesn't deserve that.

I'm glad you fessed up. That was nice. If you hadn't, I would have told you that if you were going to say something mean you could at least leave your name. So I'm glad you did. That takes balls.

my name is lauren. said...

don't let it ruin your day chloe. i know how hard that can be, cause i had an experience like this a few weeks ago, and i totally let this person (who i can't stand) ruin my entire day. it was like a horrible rain cloud over my head. hopefully knowing that we all love you and can't wait for your blog posts will help you feel a little better :).

The Socialite said...

Car problems?! ME TOO! My fiance's car to be exact! She's a little biotch! I swear. I know I have to change my attitude too - BUT she has cost us so much more money that she's worth... Guess it's still less than say a $20 car loan. She's currently in the shop and we're awaiting her diagnosis.

Hope your car problems clear up sooner than ours! Pizza helps, even if it's nasty - it's pizza! :)

The Socialite said...

*I meant $20,000 car loan!

Annie said...

WOW! That was fun to read through. Chloe, I think your blog is awesome. I look forward to reading it. You make me laugh so hard. You are a great writer. I agree, you should write a book. I am sorry to hear you are sick. Hope you get better soon. Oh and I am so happy to know I am not the only person who names their car.

Maddie said...

boo for mean people. i'm sorry chlo :( you are awesome! and way too funny. just keep writing and being yourself. you're the best! love ya sis!

Sam said...

what a meanie! i love your sarcastic humor! and you can see what people click on ? weird! i just tried figuring out how to do that and failed. boo.

*Lesli* said...

So, this is a new blog for me and i had to go back and read what happened to see what all the hizzzype was about and here is what I will say.

1. i heart your blog. you're real and funny and that's all that matters.
2. people that leave annonymous rude comments are cowards. even if they come back and say show their identity...because why, you ask? "Lisa" has an invite only blog. Of course she does. LAME.
3. i love that your husband stuck up for you, along with all of your bloggy friends.
4. i heart frozen pizza.
5. my car is going to be paid off in April and I can already tell that I'm going to have the same kind of blog post come spring/summer and i hope "LISA" stays away from it.

Happy Hump Day :) And feel better soon.

Danielle said...

Chloe, I don't even know you, but I read your blog daily. I found it through a few other blogs. You keep me entertained at work. You are funny, adorable, and honest. I love it! Lisa can take her jealous rants somewhere else.

CarrieBradshaw* said...

ya anonymous you should probably shut the hell up because pretty sure that post made me laugh my ass off.

I think you're the one who needs to grow up.

Stephanie said...

lame, lisa, lame.

oh e-friend. mean people suck.

(but people who may or may not write ragey posts about zombie blogs, um, they are TOTALLY JUSTIFIED, and are awesome.)

anyway, i like your blog. i read you because i can relate to you, and that makes me happy.

{megs in wonderland} said...

i will bitch slap the dumb out of this "anonymous/lisa/who the hell really knows" person!
NOT cool dude.
i will never understand why people feel the need to be so passive agressive about BLOGS. like, REALLY?!?!?! really! if youre panties are in SUCH a twist- close the window! stop reading! move on to the next blog (that youre probably jealous of too). really!?!!? hahaha people are weird.

and chloe, i will love you and your blog baby to the ends of the earth! never stop writing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! xoxox

Elise Halladay said...

There was absolutely NO reason for Lisa to say what she said! Thanks for ruining sweet Chloe's day and for making a lot of people mad and annoyed. There is no reason to treat people that way.

Chloe- your blog rocks. We all stalk your blog because you are hysterical and say what a lot of us feel like saying but can't think of the right words. You are sweet and beautiful and SUPER funny. Love you!

Anonymous said...

hey thanks everybody..seriously. sean and i have no words that can express how grateful we are for so many cool friends. as cheesey as that is it is true. we love you all and appreciate everything. i wasn't expecting anyone to say anything. not because i didn't think anyone cared, just because i hate drama and know how it can be getting involved and it sometimes is just easier to not say anything. but you guys are the best and i am so thankful.

Kaitlin Blocker said...

Just wanted to add my support as an unknown blog stalker, I think your blog is great it makes me laugh. It even makes me feel a little better cause your not afraid to be yourself, good for you!

Shane and Chelsea Elton said...

Hey Chloe,
I found your blog through Brittany Barnes' like a month ago and I have to tell you how addicting your it is! I seriously look forward to reading it when I put my son down for bed at night. I love how you just tell it like it is, and I can completely relate to everything you say!! That sucks that someone had to be so blatantly rude (to make her feel better about herself, perhaps?), I think that would totally ruin my day too. Anyway, I just wanted to say I think you are hilarious and to PLEASE keep blogging!

Anonymous said...