herpes and my 200th post.

that caught your attention, didn't it? don't worry, i will get to the herpes in a minute.

wow. this is my 200th post! seems like blogging is the only thing that i can seem to do consistently. oh well, it is super important right? way more important than having clean clothes and keeping sean's tummy full. i am sure he would agree.

has anyone out there seen Julie and Julia? i loved that movie so much. i guess i just felt like i could relate to it. when Julie is talking with her mom about her blog, and she says something about how she never follows through with anything, and this is the chance for her to be consistent at something. like a routine. i guess i liked that. i may not shower everyday, i may avoid cooking so i don't have to do dishes. i may forget to pray sometimes, or call people on their birthdays. i am not so proud of that. but. i have really enjoyed blogging. it has been fun to document sean and i's life. 

anyway, i was thinking about cold sores because of my last post. ugh. how i loathe them. they are awful. no one in my family gets them but me. why do i get them you ask? let's just say that it was passed on from someone that i kissed many years back. lets also just say that the last thing you wanna hear after kissing someone, is this.

"oh, by the way, i have a cold sore right now. but i am sure you won't get it. you will be fine."

next morning? HUGE. AWFUL. PAINFUL. cold sore on my lip. 

but then. it decided to move. down my chin. it was terrible. people stared at me everywhere i went. it was like the size of three quarters. i had to go to the dr. he said it was one of the worst ones he had ever seen. finally after 2 weeks it started to clear up. i was left with an ugly scar but was glad it was over.

little did i realize, that once you get herpes? it is never over. you catch a cold? bam. cold sore. you've been out in the sun too much? bam. cold sore. stressed? bam. cold sore. trip over your big toe? bam. cold sore.

this is why i like to keep my life low key and unstressful. if i do dishes? i will probably get a cold sore. then sean won't be able to kiss me. and then nobody wins. it is true, he avoids me like the plague when i get them. i take my horse sized pills, and just have to wait it out. feeling like an outcast. feeling like a leper. seriously, that is how sean treats me. i don't blame him. he is aware of the situation. i wish i could have had that option.

anyway, i don't really love going to get my prescription filled for this. i take valtrex. yeah, have you seen those commercials for genital herpes? same thing. so it's not my favorite day when i have to go get that filled. one day i went and had an experience that i haven't lived down yet. 

i went to the pharmacy as fast as i could once i felt a cold sore coming on. i get up to the counter. BAM.
kid i knew from high school who i always thought was kinda cute was working. we exchange the usual "oh hey! what you been up to?...oh yeah? that is cool! same here..yeah...yeah... cool!" 

then he says, "well what can i do for ya?" 


me...trying to cover my lip..and thinking of what to do...


"umm.. i need to get this prescription filled."


 he looks down at the paper..


then kinda looks at me funny.


like, "wow... what happened to you?" i knew he was thinking about...well you know. herpes.


"what is this for?"

i froze. i didn't know what to say! i felt like the girl in that herpes commercial.. and that saying "you don't have to stop living your life." played through my head.


i blurted out...


"IT'S FOR MY MOUTH!"


 i swear it echoed. it's like i said it in slow mo. 


"IT'S FOOOOOOR MYY-YY MOOOOUUTH!!!!" 


little echos of (mouth, mouth, mouth, outh, outh, outh , th, th ) kept bouncing off of the walls around us.

and then for some reason i felt like i needed to add,

"i mean, i just wanted you to know, it's not for my,  uhh, well, you know..."

and then i looked down towards my nether regions. and then i died a little inside.

oh herpes. the gift that keeps on giving.