Wednesday, October 28, 2009

no title.

do you ever sometimes just want to punch someone in the face? not enough to like break their nose(that's a lie), but at least hard enough, so that they bleed, and cry and your knuckles may be slightly bruised and bleeding? does it make me a horrible person if i really want to do that right now? what if i said i would just kick them in the shin with steel toed boots on? do you think maybe i am a less horrible person for saying that? (no this is not about sean, don't worry)

i kinda feel like i'm in a rut right now. i am not unhappy. i am not depressed or anything like that. i just feel like i am not progressing. i don't have much motiviation unless it involves money or yummy delicious treats. i sometimes steal from cinemark. i hate doing the dishes, i hate cleaning, i hate showering daily. i hate flossing and i hate even more when sean flosses. i hate one-uppers. sometimes i think i was born to be a dog. i forget to say my prayers a lot. a lot of times i don't call people back. i told sean the other day that i hate making plans because it is a lot easier to break plans or cancel them when you haven't made any. who am i?

as hard as i try to be excited about church? i most the time am not. it's not that i am not spiritual, or don't have a testimony about what i believe in. i guess maybe i am just not as vocal about it. does that make me a bad person? because i don't always put on the happy face at church and want to speak up during lessons? because most of the time i roll out of bed at 12:45 p.m. thrown on a skirt, and hate the fact that i have to wear a skirt?

sean and i talked about this the other day. why do girls have to wear skirts? who decided this? who decided that it was more "appropriate" and "respectful"? if anything i feel more exposed and i hate it because then i shave am supposed to shave my legs and sometimes most of the time i just don't want to.

i am not even good at things like farmville or town or whatever the heck that game on facebook is. sean will be like,

"Chloe! this game is awesome! i have my own farm, i get to grow food!"

and i am like "that sounds retarded."

he is like "no, it's awesome!"

and i'm like, "the only way it's awesome, is if it's real. can you lend me some corn for dinner?"

"well no, it doesn't work like that."

and i am like, "well then it's stupid and i hate it."

and he is all, "you just need to give it a shot."

okay first off. why on earth would i want to work on a farm? no offense if you do, but i really am not a hard worker like that and will be the first to admit that i will probably whine like a baby. second, if i don't want to work on a real farm, why would i want to be in charge of a fake one? a game that teaches you hard work and responsibility? um no thanks. give me tic tac toe or brick breaker or something. those games take skill and no thinking.

also, it's interrupting our marriage. when i am like, "hey sean, do you think we should go get some drinks?" and by we i mean him.

and he says, "hold on, i have to harvest my cotton, i don't have much time left."

it is really becoming an issue.

i like yummy food. i don't mind cooking. but i hate cooking for two. i will be honest i will probably hate cooking for more than that. i hate cooking because my kitchen is small. i hate cooking because i don't have a dishwasher. i hate cooking because everytime i want to cook something i have to go spend $25 bucks at the store. i would rather spend it on Texas Roadhouse. i don't get how people cook for cheap. is there some secret "cheap food for people who don't like to cook because it can get expensive store?" if yes, can you tell me where it is? if not, should i start one? maybe? i dunno these things.

also i hate cooking because i have to shop and then my fridge dies. sean and i are afraid to use the fridge because we don't want to get too attached. you never know when things could change. also, i would rather sit on my couch watching Mystery Diagnosis or Full House than fold my clothes or do laundry.

maybe i am afraid to cook because i am afraid to fail. if sean didn't like something i made him i don't know what i would do. one time he didn't eat all of the french toast and eggs that i made. i ate all mine. i assumed he hated my cooking and then i felt like the man for eating mine and his leftovers. and then 3 cinnamon rolls after this all happened. i guess i just don't even want to set myself up for failure. maybe i am afraid to fail?

no. i wish that was it. i think more than anything i am just plain lazy. at least i am good at something right? i am gonna own it.

someday someone will say things like "you know that chloe girl? she is lazy. she is the laziest person i know. it is awesome. she is so good at it. i wish i could be good at that. i wish i could not be so good at cleaning. or doing the dishes. man. what a life."


kayla & tyler said...

i LOVE the show mystery diagnosis. did you know last sunday there was a huge marathon of it!! haha, after we got home from church, we watched it ALL day... wow we are lazy. and I am totally with you on the whole cooking part. I don't think i'm a horrible cook, but i hate cooking when tyler is basically a pro chef. i feel like an idiot. AND cooking for two is SO hard, and yes everytime we cook meals we go out and spend around $20 bucks for the meal, and we would rather just go out to eat. so we don't have to clean up. haha, that's so bad of us. but seriously, sometimes eating out is much cheaper!! I totally feel the same way you do! haha... let's hope we get more motivated about cooking... i don't think it will happen for me at least. ha

Mollie McCormick said...

this is hilarious and exactly how i'm feeling today too. i basically want someone to take care of me today.

grant + brittany said...

first of all putting on a dress is way easier than a skirt. not that you were complaining about how annoying it can be to pull a whole outfit together but i'm just saying. dresses are easier. and your legs are skinny. so you should like showing them off.

you are not lazy. in fact you HAVE NO IDEA WHAT LAZY IS. at least you have a job, a job where someone actually like you and hired you. i have applied and applied and apparently people hate me.

and MAYBE the reason why you hate cooking is because you don't know a lot of EASY recipes! maybe you should let me grocery shop with you. because i am really determined to help you in this department because i used to be in your EXACT same situation. srsly.

and did you have anything to do with a mean comment hahah? please just know what i am talking about.

Shane and Bonnie Peavler said...

It's like you took the words right out of my brain... I think Farmville is retarded and I hate getting invited to it. I HATE shaving my legs and am so excited to start working from home because that means I don't have to shower/wash my hair as often :)

The Boob Nazi said...

I don't know what the eff farmville really is, and I don't want to know.
And I haven't showered since Sunday. SHHHHHHHHH don't tell anybody. But I've had a migraine. Totally makes sense.

olivia rae said...

i totallyyy agree BUT when you go to costco and get millions of ingredients for cheap and get like two months of meals out of it,or lots of good produce from the farmers market, cooking is awesome! but also, not everyone has to love cooking! some people just hate it!

i'm feeling sooo lazy today. just sittin in my pj's and can't stop eating!!

Juli said...

Chloe! We are so much alike, it kills me. KILLS me. I keep my laundry either on the floor, on my bed, or in a laundry basket. I hate dishes. I hate cleaning. Your posts make me laugh. And honestly? they make my days. When I log on to your blog, and I see that you have a new post it's like Christmas for me. When you don't post... like yesterday... I am seriously so bummed. No joke. And I fully admit to blog stalking you.

Rasha @ and this is what she said... said...

Too dang funny. I feel like you spoke my mind. HILARIOUS about the farmville... my boyfriend does that too, its ridiculous. lol.... and i always wanna punch someone srsly. all the time....... && im pretty dang lazy myself, lol


Rachel Leigh said...

I know everyone already said that they all feel the same, and blah blah... and I am totally going to do it again. I literally could copy this blog and post it on mine. LOL.
want to punch somone right now? check. feeling lazy? check. hate making plans? check. not excited for church? check. check check check to all! Especially shaving for church... I never do and I don't care either. HA! next time look for my hairy legs next time. And between you and me... I let my farm die on farmville. I know, GASP!

Shannon Murphy said...

ohhh that stupid farmville thing!!! I've never been able to understand it! I feel like a lazy maisie too most of the time... but its great. At least your not one of those people who can't sit still and always have to be doing something...

p.s. I saw paranormal activity last night.... absolutly terrifying! way scarier than the stepfather!!

Sam said...

lol @ "fold my cook or do laundry." :p

i confess, i have a farmville. i made it all pretty with a house and green trim around it. but i dont collect the things from my animals and trees or plant anything because that takes too much time. it was fun making it all pretty though!

jeans and tees are welcome in church in good ol' Missouri. though i haven't gone to church since i had confirmation... so maybe things have changed.

Anonymous said...

haha i fixed it Sam! originally i said cook or fold laundry then i changed it but forgot to change the whole sentence! haha! and im not dissin on farmville, i just like to tease Sean :)

Tolman Family said...

Don't feel bad about not cooking, there's no rule that says you have to! It took me almost 2 1/2 years before I started making dinner for Skyler but I still have a hard time doing it every night.

Maddie said...

cooking is fun when you don't HAVE to do it. just relax. you're in the fun years of your marriage (not that any aren't fun, i'm sure), but this is the time to be lazy and eat take out and still be in between grown-up and kid for a little while longer . . . everyone grows up when they want to. and are ready to. and right now you don't have to. just have fun with sean! you guys will figure it all out!

{megs in wonderland} said...

we are the same person, it is official after this post.

{megs in wonderland} said...

OH except i really like skirt and dresses because jeans make my ass look ginormous because most of them dont fit because being married/happy/in love CLEARY also makes me a fatty. damn.

Michael & Mindy said...

i love this post. and i hope nobody told you to shop at wal-mart for cheap because if they did i will punch them in the shin. or kick them in the nose?

don't be in a rut! let's freaking hang out. i am lazy too. i come home from school and sit and blog until michael gets home and then i do the laundry but only if we're out of clean clothes. and sometimes he does the laundry. like this morning he put the garments in the wash. i usually feel like i should do it, but i think it's fine if he does. so it's fine if sean does stuff and you watch full house. i would watch it if we had the channel. instead i freaking blog and leave comments on your blog like 39 times.

i don't think you wrote this post because you wanted us to all comment and tell us you're awesome. but i am anyway. i love you even though we haven't met. i talk about you all the time and michael's like, "and how did you guys meet?" and i'm like uh. blogs. duh. except i don't say duh because he would think i was being rude about it.

but seriously. i don't want you to be in a rut. i cook but only because it is all easy peasy recipes. like the one i just posted on my blog tonight. it took me 5 seconds to make and my bro-in-law was here and was like, "you have to give shauna (his wife) this recipe!" and he loved it. and i'm not tooting my own horn or anything. i just cook easy stuff.

and i hope you're not in a rut because i told you your job sounded boring. i wasn't trying to be rude. and my job probably seems boring to you. so who cares what i say anyway?

and plus. we can always email and have like 9 zillion correspondences. and now i have your number. which was probably a mistake. because now i'll be text-monstering you all day.

Michael & Mindy said...

oh. and i used to feel the same way about spending $ on food. here's what i do (and i'm a total nerd. i know). i make a menu or a list of what we're gonna eat all month, then i go to the store and buy everything i need for all month. i usually end up spending around $100. then if i have sour cream for tacos i also have it for chili. or whatever. as opposed to going to the store for everything and spend $20 every day, i have stuff left for another recipe. ya know? it seems like common sense, but i didn't realize it until i started doing it. so i just try to plan stuff that i can use ingredients for. like i plan french dip sandwiches and hogis in the same week so i can use 1 pkg. of buns. ya know? i don't know. it seems to work for me. if you want i'll email you my menu. srsly. i know it seems retarded, but it helps.

and. could i please leave a freaking longer comment next time! sheesh

lauren said...

i HATE to shower. like loathe. i literally read your post on advice for men out loud to my husband. the part where you said:

.....when a woman asks you if she should shower(specifically your wife), probably don't say,

"yes, you probably should."

i cannot even tell you how many times we've had this exact conversation at our house. i'm always like...

"don't you think i could just wear a wide headband or something?" or "my hair's not that greasy! you just think it is cause i'm standing right under the light. here. let me move over here... what about now?"

seriously. i finally invested in a shower cap. i look like an old grandma, but at least i can shower quickly without having to deal with my crazy hair.'s just a process and most people figure it out through a bunch of failures. i literally couldn't cook A THING (like i screwed up plain noodles and burned water) when i first got married a year and 1/2 ago. don't stress. just try stuff out when you have time, and when you don't, don't worry.

p.s. make friends with your crockpot. it's my new BFF.

hope you're able to get out of that rut soon, and thanks for being real and letting us all empathize with you.

@manda said...

Chloe I love you to death! I have to say there is a way to shop cheap and I had to learn that the very hard way but I think I have mastered that now hahahahaha I can help and I am ALWAYS here for you ;)

Matt said...

Chloe, just remember this one thing. Sean is a male. He will eat and enjoy anything.

Lesson to all females - Men like food, it doesn't matter what it is as long as we don't have to cook it.

grant + brittany said...

um okay mindy is perfect at buying groceries obviously. she should take you. mindy you plan out one month!!!????! oh my gosh, i am totally the $20 a day person. hmmm i'm going to try this though.

also did you read the latest. "obvi" ahhhhhhhhhhh

Anonymous said...

i will never stop looking forward to your posts. they make me laugh so hard! i still don't get farmville.... but everyone has a little farm. with brown cows. and ugly ducklings. haha. baffles me!

Michael & Mindy said...

i just don't even know what to do with myself when i get on and you haven't updated.

Michael & Mindy said...

and britt. i'm not amazing. i only plan a month because otherwise we have tacos every freaking night. i have ideas ready. and i don't even follow it that closely. okay, i kind of do, but it depends. we can all 3 go shopping and teach each other. i think that would be best.

Juli said...

Chloe!! YOU'RE so sweet!!! I'm glad my comment made your day. But it was the truth!!! I seriously look forward to your blog posts EVERYDAY! no joke. I heart you!

bishopfamily said...

Chloe, you make me laugh, I love how honest you are in your post. It's very refreshing! You speak your mind, and the funny thing is that it's about things we all think about!

samnhal said...

Pretty sure I do say that about you, well not those exact words. More something like "Man, maybe someone else shares my view on laziness." Ah, its the life, except when people give you crap about it so you finally learn to cook and end up liking it, but still have a hard time being motivated to do it.
P.S. There is a website called which lists cheap recipes and people post recipes based on whats on sale at different grocery stores. It's sweet

Kjrsten said...

I will tell you what you are good at... being hilarious that's what. do you feel better about yourself knowing that you just made me laugh one hundred laughs? because you did. Also you should know I hate to cook, and even more I hate to eat what I make, it doesn't taste as good- knowing all the the food went through, and where it sat- and what it touched etc... it just takes the hunger right out of me. as I sit down to eat my fajita and I remember what the raw chicken looked like 20 minutes ago in the plastic, good night, give me a bowl of cereal, and you guys (my family) can eat that crap, but not for me no thanks! knock yourselves out. I don't even want to sit at the table with you guys either and that dinner formerly known as raw chicken. I will just eat my life cereal standing up over here by the fridge.

p.s. when you get tired of full house look for saved by the bell reruns. they are boss.

anna said...

well i know one thing we have in common. i hate those games on facebook. i don't know what farmville is but i know i won't like it. and i won't try it. no way. i hate cotton until it's real fabric. it's all itchy and sticky and it has pricklies. why would i want to farm it? no thanks.

oh, and that other thing i know is cooking for 1 or 2 sucks balls. i always used to eat all the leftovers my husband left. it was like, i didn't want any of MY HARD WORK going to waist so if he wasn't going to eat it, i was. i got real fat when we were first married. and then after i got really fat i got really angry. now that we have kids, it's easier to let the leftovers hit the disposal cuz their ramen or mac n cheese (gross when it's cold or reheated).

the other thing i know is that you can't possibly be lazy. no one who is lazy is as funny as you are. you make me laugh.

Michael & Mindy said...

it's hard to tell these things when you're wearing awesome red sweats and a big t-shirt. there is a belly there, that is for sure. my students don't know i'm prego and i often find them staring at it like "what the heck!" i think it's confusing for them. but truly, you are too sweet!

staceylafayette said...

I laughed out loud when I read what you wrote about Farmville! Thank you for making my day a little brighter with your humor!