Monday, October 12, 2009

baby names

so sean and i were having a conversation about baby names. and no, we are not planning to have kids anytime soon. but still. you have to have these conversations. you need to know what to expect. just in case your husband might not agree with your future childrens names, you need to have some time to change his mind. so as we were talking about names, sean says this:


"naming babies is tough. they should just come with names ya know? like God sends you a letter with the baby and says "this baby is named _____"


this sentence brought up a memory from my childhood. when i was about 5 years old, i asked for a cabbage patch doll for christmas. when we were younger, we got talking ones that would still talk after you took out the batteries. those freakin' possessed dolls scared the crap out of us. hearing, "do you want to be my friend?" in the middle of the night is destined to freak out a 3 year old.


anyway, when i was older and more mature, i wanted the new crimp and curl cabbage patch doll. i was ready for the responsibility. i was obsessed with babies. i have me on film saying "they give me too many babies!" then my dad says, "Chloe, how old is that baby?" i said "Four!" he said, "Well how old are you?" i shouted proudly, "Free!" as in three. yeah thats right. i was the youngest mom around and was awesome. younger than my own babies. how many people can say that? eh?


anyway. back to the real story. so christmas morning comes and i get my cabbage patch doll. i was so excited. i opened up the box, i pulled out the doll and then my mom said, "oh look Chloe! she came with a birth certificate and a name!" her name was Beatrice. i was pissed. Beatrice? WTF. no offense if that is your name. but as a 5 year old girl, i would not have my child named Beatrice. no freakin way. so what did we do?


we mailed the adoption papers/birth certificate back into Cabbage Patch and had her name legally changed... to Kathy Diane. WTF? no offense if Kathy Diane is your name. but what was i thinking? i was 5? i wouldn't even call her Kathy until i got her birth certificate back. that is how serious i was about this situaion. pshh..and you all think i won't be a good mom... okay. maybe no one has ever said that. but still.


did anyone ever get those American Girl dolls? oh we did. we were obsessed. we got them for christmas one year. maddie got Addy. i got Samantha, and my cousin Kinzy got Molly. we played with them ALL the time. our parents made personalized little chests for each doll where we could house all of their accessories. we were legit.


maddie always got to be poor. she made looking poor seem so awesome. "i am addy, and i live in an alley, and it is lovely and amazing." i was so mad. i wanted to be poor too. she made it look so much fun. so when kinzy said, "i am going to be poor too! i have a brown paper lunch sack. so i am totally poor!" i felt so left out. so i said, "well i am going to be poor too! because everyone knows Samantha was adopted!" maddie says, "umm..you can't be poor because you have a gold lunch tin." freak. why does life have to be so hard sometimes?


anyway. moral of the story for sean? if God sent us babies already with names, we might not like them. they might be named Beatrice, or Dale. and we will just have to go through the long process of getting them changed anyway.

16 comments:

grant + brittany said...

baby names. ugh. we could never agree. then on the way home from florida (in the car for 50,000 hours) we named our whole family! it was great! i couldn't believe we were agreeing..

i can't believe you sent her back to get a different name. ha and i totally had samantha too! i love that maddie made being poor cool. that is the best.

Tolman Family said...

LOVE this post. Let me just tell you I had the crimp and curl doll too and her name was Cora Anita, but of course I couldn't say that so her name was Coratita, Better? I don't think so. I also had Samantha but I don't think she can be purchased anymore, not that I was on the American Girls website last week or anything...

Maddie said...

WTF, make fun of "Dale" why don't you? that COULD have been MY name! lol

Shane and Bonnie Peavler said...

I got a Cabbage Patch kid when I was 18 mos old. I grew up thinking "his" name was George. It wasn't until I was about 14 that I found the birth certificate. My name trumps yours... Comfort Hermione. My family took the initiative to rename - and re-gender my doll :)

Emily and Brett said...

don't get me started on baby names! I love crazy different names and brett is into really common traditional names. I love your name and really want to name a girle Chloe:)

Michael & Mindy said...

Too true. My Cabbage Patch doll's name was Rosie. Uh...like Rosanne? From the show Rosanne? That's what it always reminded me of. Even though my doll was cuter than the loud woman. And baby names are hard. My child may just be nameless unless someone starts sending ideas my way..

Michael & Mindy said...

Oh. And you are lucky your mom let you legally change her name legally. My mom never would have gone for it. Lucky duck.

Michael & Mindy said...

Oh. And I like how I comment on every single post like 97 times.

Kinz said...

Dang Maddie and her taking all of the fun being the poor one! I miss those days...

I think I remember that cabbage patch doll of yours that talked without the battery! Eeek!

Lilas Conuts said...

Hello from Nouméa
Loved the soft look of those dolls but never got one I suppose that after cutting, burning or smashing other dolls my mum didn't see the point of buying me one and she might have been right

shirah said...

at least you got to play with cabbage patch dolls! i played with barbie when i was a kid! that left me with some very warped ideas of beauty and also an incredulous obsession with blonde hair and blue eyes..which i did grow out of, thankfully! hehe. ahh such a damaging childhood!

Rachel Leigh said...

My cabbage patch doll had such an ugly name that I remember throwing the birth certificate away and just naming her myself. Why do they have to choose such ugly names for them. As if the doll itself isn't ugly enough. Sorry, no offense... I just really think the cabbage patch dolls we ugly. oops!

Kim said...

So, you don't know me, but I'm Mindy's (of Michael and Mindy) sister and she always tells me about your hilarious posts, so I stalk your blog regularly. I couldn't help but crack up at this post. My beloved Cabbage Patch's doll came with the name Estra Serena. Now tell me that isn't a beaut! Too funny! Thanks for the laughs and keep them coming 'cause I know I'll be back again soon!

anna said...

ahh ha ha! a gold lunch tin? i thought you were gonna say you stole it from some rich guy? or tell her you were about to pawn it to pay your credit card bill?? man, as a 5 yr old, you were pretty smart.

cabbage patch was asking for you to change that baby's name. i mean, come on! when i got mine, the craze was using boy names for a girl. so i named mine casey. i was so awesome.

Shannon Ashley said...

Thanks for your comment!! I'm new to blogging! I'm still reading your blog and I LOVED american girls dolls. I had a samantha and a "design your own" doll. My sisters and I still have them all somewhere in our house, they were expensive!

jeri kaye said...

i JUST read this post, freakin' hilarious, you went from Beatrice to Kathy hahaha! Awesome :)