what's in a number?

so. i am eating a..
delicious fudge chocolate chip cookie right now. it is great. it comes with 2 cookies in the package. i was only going to eat one, and give the other one to sean. but he is rubbing it in my face that he found 2 frooties in his desk so i will be eating this cookie. now i don't care much about calories (CLEARLY, there are only like 20 frooties left in that bag of 360) but, i did check the nutritional facts on these cookies. it says 1 cookie is 150 calories. but 2 cookies are 310. wait, what? last i checked 150+150 was 300. so these are my conclusions:


1. the first cookie is 150 calories, and the second is 160. they don't tell you this because they think you will probably just eat one and give the other to your husband. he can handle the extra 10 calories.


2. each cookie is 155 calories and they are totally false advertising. should i call the customer service hotline? i think i just might.


3. they don't know how to add. maybe i should get a job there. wait. because i can or can't add? hmm. not sure. either way, i'd probably get all the free cookies i want.


4. if one cookie is 150, and the other is 160,  how am i supposed to know which one is which? am i supposed to count the chocolate chips? i am so confused.


5. maybe they don't actually expect anyone to eat both. maybe they are trying to get me to not eat it by telling me that i am doubling my calories, + 10 by eating 2. do i really want to do that?


6. both cookies are already gone. so i guess it doesn't matter anymore.


maybe i should be more worried about the amount of frooties i have eaten this past week.


360 pieces
12 frooties is a serving
140 calories per serving


360/12=30 servings per bag.
30X140= 4,200 calories.


that's not bad is it? isn't a pound like 3500 calories? man i won't even gain a pound from this whole thing. that's how this whole calorie thing works right? what's the big fuss?


besides, the calories expended in opening each individual frootie wrapper will clearly burn off the actual calories in the frootie. i think i should teach health. oh wait..that's what my major is... maybe i should be the opposite of what healthy people should do. sigh. don't be like me!


should i be embarassed that my whole car and every trash can that i own (i own trash cans? that sounds weird) is full of frootie wrappers? i don't know. maybe you should be embarassed that your's aren't? my tummy is happy, is yours?( okay, it's not, it toally hurts and so does my jaw but whatever, thats besides the point)


so. i told sean i needed him to do me a favor. was he supposed to go into an important meeting right before? probably yes. but, this was important. here is our convo:


Chloe says: hey you busy?


Sean says: whats up?


Chloe says: are you busy?


Sean says: i gotta run up stairs for a few min. you ok?


Chloe says: i just need you to do me a favor but it can wait


Sean says: what is it?


Chloe says: umm..it's kinda gay but kinda important. so don't worry about it now


Sean says: no whats up?


Chloe says: well. here's the very long story in a nutshell. i am eating a cookie right now. 2 came in the package. it says 1 cookie is 150 calories. 2 is 310? WTF.
i need you to call the customer service hotline
1-800-352-4477
ask them what is up?


Sean says: hahaha k. i will in a min
(ummm..can you say true love?)


Chloe says: k. keep me posted.

to be continued......

(i know the suspense is killing me too)