what?? an update??

wow. it has been way way way too long since i have blogged. this is the longest i have ever gone without blogging! i post most everything on instagram now days. but i felt like i need to get back to blogging. even if i don't get every picture up, at least i can put updates about our life here.

yes it's true! baby #2 is on the way! we are very excited. i am 14 weeks today. this pregnancy so far has been very different from my first. i have been a lot sicker. with ben i got sick but it wasn't until almost the second trimester and it was basically only at night. with this pregnancy it hit me way earlier on. i also found out a lot sooner though. maybe i should start from the beginning!

in july i went off birth control. it took us almost 10 months to get pregnant with ben. that might not seem like long to some but when you decide you are ready, it's already too late. i had a feeling it might take us a while for baby #2 as well. i didn't go off birth control with the intention to get pregnant right away. i actually went off because i thought it would help the melasma i was dealing with. basically we weren't trying but we weren't preventing. my cycles were way out of whack. i would sometimes go 10 days between a period and sometimes 40. it was annoying and was never consistent. at the beginning of december, i just had this feeling one day. i knew i was pregnant. i had thought that so many times while trying to get pregnant with ben, but this time i just knew. i knew it was probably wayyyy too early to even get a positive. even with my cycles being so long sometimes i just had a feeling. even if it would have been a normal 28 day cycle it was still early. i asked my neighbor if she had any tests and she didn't so that day when sean got home from work i ran to walgreens and bought an early response test. i think sean thought i was crazy for testing. i have wasted SOOOOO much money on negative tests. anyway i snuck into the bathroom and took it. and it seemed to be negative. but after a few minutes i noticed a second pink line start to appear. it was very faint.

i kinda started to freak out. i came out of the bathroom and showed sean. this same thing happened with ben. we didn't believe the line. it was way too light. so sean ran back to walgreens for a digital one. and sure enough it said pregnant. we were in shock. if i am being honest i immediately felt so guilty. my sister in law had just lost her first baby at 8.5 weeks in october. i really wanted her to be pregnant before me. i felt bad. we didn't tell anyone for a few days. it also seems like the minute we found out ben got a lot harder. i was starting to doubt myself and if i could handle everything.

the day we found out i was 3 weeks and 3 days pregnant. with ben i didn't find out until i was almost 5 weeks. when i hit 5 weeks with this pregnancy i got incredibly sick. like i couldn't keep water down at all. i was so afraid that it was morning sickness but it turned out to be the stomach flu. thank goodness. that didn't stop the nausea though. i have definitely been a lot sicker this time and have thrown up a lot. especially at night. it seems like 5:00 hits and all the sudden i am so sick. i have had no energy and have been so tired all the time. i feel like i have no patience and a short temper. i had to go off of my anti-anxiety/depression medication so that probably didn't help things. i have gained weight a lot quicker too and thats been hard. i know i shouldn't complain though.. and i probably sound so ungrateful to be pregnant. but thats not the truth. i am excited. its been a slower growing excitement this time. i am soooo scared out of my mind. i am scared of getting post partum depression again. i am scared of having another challenging baby. but at the same time i feel like i learned a lot and i can handle more now. i guess we will see. i get more excited every day though and can't wait to meet this little guy or girl!

we find out in about a week and a half what the gender is. i am so excited! at 8 weeks we went to a fetal studio and paid $25 for a gender verification. we also got to hear the heartbeat. that was neat because my doctor doesn't see patients until at least 10 weeks and doesn't do ultrasounds until 19 weeks when they do the full body scan. unless you pay $25 for a gender check which we are doing at 16 weeks. here is our little Roo at 8 weeks! (the nickname for now!)




not much to see but i am still glad we did it! it's so hard to believe that there is anything in there at the beginning. my pants definitely beg to differ on that though haha. i am hoping that now that i am out of the first trimester hopefully i start to feel better soon or at least get some energy back! i have been pretty hard on myself about it. i really am getting excited though and cant wait to see ben be a big brother!

speaking of ben... he just turned 2! i cant believe it.





my little boy is growing up way too fast! he is all over the place and so much fun. he definitely is a handful and keeps us on our toes but he is the best thing to ever happen to us. he is starting to talk a lot more and it has been so fun. he has been a little behind on the whole english thing but he is getting there. my little cousins asked their mom if ben was speaking spanish haha. he is very smart and he talks all the time in his own little language. but now he is starting to say words and that is fun. his first real word was go. we were at the part and he was going down the slide and all the sudden he just said "GO!" as he went down. the next time he said "Set. Go!" and now he says that all the time. along with Dad, Mom, Moe, puppy, cookie, ball, milk, juice, shoes, jack, papa, mama (grandma). he says Ewee (for elliette) and K-ee for Katie. wawa (water), hi, bye, nigh nigh (good night), car..etc. he knows where all his body parts are. he is into picking out his own clothes lately. you have to give him options and let him pick. its so funny. he is so sweet and so hard at the same time. i love him so much though. he fights naps nowadays and doesn't go to bed as easily as he used to but he has been sleeping good and so that is nice. i am trying to enjoy the sleep while i can before we do the whole newborn thing again!

sean is doing great. he got a new job in august at rock canyon bank and it is going great. he loves it there but he did love his old job too. luckily he still does a lot of work with them and we were lucky enough to be able to still go on their cruise in november! we had soooo much fun. we left from puerto rico and went to Barbados, St. Lucia, St. Maarten, St. Thomas and.... shoot i forgot the 5th one. oh well i am hoping to post about that trip soon and i will remember eventually!

we have been painting our house and that has been quite the process. sean is such a saint and such a hard worker for doing this for me. i have been sick of the beige everything that we have for so long. we have the house halfway done and it is looking so good. i cant wait to have it all done.

overall life is going pretty good. we are very blessed and very lucky. we definitely have our hard days but that is life right? i am hoping to get back into blogging more regularly. i want to document this pregnancy like i did with bens and i want to blog about our trip! i am going to go to bed for now though! goodnight!!