Monday, May 6, 2013

ben's first 2 months

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> 1 month <

bens first month of life was pretty rough. the first week was obviously hard just because we were all trying to adust. the next 2 got a little better but when ben hit 3 weeks he started to spit up a lot. like a lot more than normal. he would projectile puke all the time. at his 2 week check up he was 7lbs 5oz and when i took him to get him weighed at the lactation specialist when he was 4 weeks old he was 8lbs 11oz so we weren't too worried about him gaining weight but something still seemed off to me. ben was never really a calm baby. it always seemed like he was uncomfortable and in pain. he was always so tense and fidgety and when the spit up started to increase it all got worse. he started to cry all the time and especially while eating. it got so bad that he couldn't catch his breath and stopped latching when i nursed him. i went to a lactation specialist and tried to get help. i tried nipple shields and different positions. nothing seemed to work.

when he turned a month old i took him to the doctor and he was diagnosed with acid reflux. poor guy. no wonder it was so hard for him to eat. anyway, even with the zantac he still wouldn't latch and i think it was because it hurt him to lay any position but upright when eating. so i started to pump and bottle feed him. this was way nice because we could actually pace him when he ate and feed him sitting up. it seemed to help but he was still having issues. pumping was really really hard for me. at first i didn't mind it but then having to pump 7 times a day was getting old. having to do that and then go feed him and then do it all over again was draining me. i don't know how people do it. i had quite a good freezer supply but was also starting to produce too much milk. it's really hard to find a balance of foremilk and hindmilk while pumping. ben started to get fussy and uncomfortable again and i tried to change my diet, change the way i pumped... etc. we put him on prevacid along with the zantac. he still seemed unhappy all the time.

one day i had a breakdown. ben was 6 weeks old and i lost it. i started crying to sean that i couldn't do it anymore. i was so exhausted. pumping was taking its toll on me and i felt like i had the most unhappy baby in the world. i felt like i couldn't do anything right. i told sean i didn't want to pump anymore. he took ben and the dog to his parents and told me to take a nap and that he was okay with it if i didn't want to pump anymore. i love him so much. anyway, i decided to sleep on it and feed him frozen milk for the next day until i figured things out. some of the milk seemed freezer burned to me though so i decided to give him some of this special formula that my mom had bought us a few weeks before. he was on that for 24 hours and was like a whole new baby. he was so much happier! i couldn't believe it. also randomly that day, 2 women from my ward showed up at separate times saying they had a feeling that they needed to check up on me. turns out they both had similar stories and pumped for a while too and were so miserable. i felt like them showing up to check on me confirmed my decision to stop pumping and go with formula. i have felt really guilty about it but have prayed a lot about it and feel like those girls coming over were an answer to my prayers. also, the milk that seemed freezer burned gave me a chance to try out formula and therefore turned ben into a much happier baby. i don't know if i will ever know if it was something that i was eating or if ben just needed a special formula, but whatever it is... ben is much happier and therefore i am happier.  formula is so expensive and i was telling my doctor that i felt guilty and wasn't doing what was best for my baby. she said to me "chloe, you are doing what is best for your baby. he is happier now. that is what is best!" so there you have it. ben is on formula and people can judge all they want but that is just how it is going to be!

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> 2 months <

ben's 2nd month was much better than the first. at his 2 month check up he weighed 10lbs 9 oz and was 23 inches long. his head circumference was 16 inches. so he was in the 50% for weight, 80% for height, and 90% for head. haha. so he is long and skinny and has a big head! 

at about 5 weeks ben started to smile. he smiled for sean first and it was the cutest thing ever. 

around this time ben would average 3 oz per feeding every 3 hours. he was on enfamil gentlease for colic and gas. (he is on a different one now but i will update about all that in my 3 month update)

he would sleep about 5-6 hours for the first stretch of the night and then usually another 3 or 4 after that. he would take about 3 or 4 hour and a half naps a day.

we moved his bedtime from 10 to 9. 

he started to sleep in his crib! it has been so nice. we originally had him in our room in his rock and play. then we transitioned him into his room in the rock and play for the 2nd half of the night. then we started keeping him in the rock and play in his room and putting him in his crib for the 2nd half. then we did the crib the whole night! wahoo! 

and i suck for not doing this sooner because now i can't think of the huge milestones at 2 months... but it's all kind of been a blur! tomorrow ben turns 3 months so i promise to be better and update on that soon! also, i have taken pictures with my real camera each month, so i need to get those up soon! these phone pictures are not great. not sure if i will throw those in these posts or just create new ones. who knows. i am all over the place and have way too many pictures and not enough time to get organized! i just wanted to get this stuff up before i end up getting way behind...


Staci T said...

My sweet, happy, cute Benny Blue👶👵🐵I love him so much!!!!!

Sam M said...

A friend of mine's baby was like that. She would projectile vomit all the time. She had acid reflux, and they also found she was allergic to a milk protein, so she went on special formula and she stopped projectile vomitting and it was the best thing for her. Don't feel guilty, I know it's hard not to, but you did what was best for your baby.

Crissy Boss said...

Oh, he is such a cutie! I'm sorry you had such a rough time at the start, but I'm glad that you figured out what worked best for you, and that things are all better now. I used to be the type of person who would harshly judge people who gave their babies formula. Then I had to stop nursing Zeke before I would've liked to, and had to start giving him formula. And I had a similar experience where someone I knew shared that she had to stop nursing and give her baby formula, and what she told me had been an answer to my prayer. But I think the most important thing that I learned during that time is: you really can't know what is going on for someone else, or why they make the choice they make. But we're all trying to do our best, and sometimes what is best for one person is different than what is best for another. It doesn't make either one wrong, just different. It taught me not to be so quick to judge people for choosing something different than me.
Sheesh, sorry for such a long comment. I just want to let you know that you should never feel guilty for giving Ben formula. Just like your doctor said, he's happy and you're happy, so that is what is best for you.
I think you're an amazing woman, and you're doing a great job. :)
Also, Happy (early) Mother's day! :)

Courtney said...

He is seriously so stinking cute!! I LOVE his dark hair! And honestly, don't feel bad about not nursing him! Yes, it would be ideal if everything worked out perfectly as planned, but it doesn't!! That's WHY formula was invented! Sometimes what is considered "best" for a baby isn't what is best for YOUR baby -- and all that matters is that he is healthy and happy! : )
I'm glad he is doing better and that things have calmed down a lot!! Just wait until he starts to crawl!! AHH!