Thursday, January 19, 2012

careless words.

last night i stayed up reading this blog. it had me in tears. i mean full blown bawling tears. i am surprised i didn't wake sean up. this poor little boy was born with a rare genetic disorder called EB. any type of friction on his skin would cause blisters that eventually turned to sores that wouldn't heal. as i read through this blog and read the words of his mother, i was truly touched. i can't even how hard it must have been for her. for him. to endure such awful pain. to the point that a diaper change was a monumental task and would require anxiety medication and pain medicine for this poor little boy. he passed away a few days ago. i didn't even know this little boy but it really got to me.

on top of watching her son suffer, reading some of the terrible comments that people would leave her broke my heart. i can't believe how cruel some people are. some people accused her of doing this for publicity. some people would say "how could you let your child suffer like that?" like it was her fault or something? like she had a choice in whether he lives or dies? i loved her responses back to people in this post. this woman is amazing. she went through all of this and a divorce while her son was suffering. she watched her son lose his eyesight. she never got to hear him speak. he required 24 hour care. nights when she got 15 minutes of sleep were considered a good night.

obviously i can't fully grasp this situation since we don't have children yet. but it still makes me so sad. i can't believe how strong this woman is. i don't know if i could have kept my faith  through a situation like this. but i hope that she knows how much her story and her son have affected me. i know i only spent about an hour reading the blog.. but i have learned a lot already for her little son. i don't often get religious on here, but she left this scripture in the post where she addressed some mean comments.. and i have been thinking about it all day. i think it is one of my new favorite scriptures.

"I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”

—Matthew 12: 36-37

it really makes me want to be more careful about the things that i say. i am really trying to work on this. i have a lot of room for improvement in several areas in my life. this being one of them. i was talking about this with sean on monday, but i think so often we get caught up in petty things and feel like it's okay to say mean things about someone if the person will never hear it. i have seen so many mean comments about people online (some who are very close to me) and in news articles and forums where people rip on who the article or forum is about. maybe they think that that person will never read it. but what if a family member reads it? what if they read it? why is it okay to sit behind our computer screens and say mean things? why do people justify in their minds that that is okay behavior? do they think that since they are not saying it to the persons face that it's okay?

anyway, the pictures on this blog are hard to look at. he is in so much pain. but really this little boy is so amazing. and so beautiful. and so is his mother. she is amazing. if you have some time i encourage you to go over there and check it out. it definitely humbled me and made me feel so ashamed for the silly things i complain about. it also made me want to be more careful about what i say. i need to stop being so careless with my words. it also made me see that even though this disease is not fair.. and pain and sickness and tragedy are not fair... it brings out the love in people. it brings people together. it changes people and makes people better. it allows people to show acts of service that they might not otherwise get the chance to do. it also made me so grateful for all of the things i have and take for granted more than i should. anyway... i just felt like i needed to post about this. to help me remember that i will be held accountable for my actions someday. and to try to better. thanks for reading!


Devin & Katie said...

so glad you shared this. i went to the blog and it is absolutely heartbreaking. it makes me wonder where people get their strength, because i could never imagine trials like that. courtney's attitude is AMAZING. i can't even fathom how hard it would be to stay so positive as you watch your child suffer through so much pain. thanks for this reminder, chloe!

Krysten @ Why Girls Are Weird said...

I'm off to check out her blog right now. And I find it so disgusting the way some people can be so unbelievably horrible. It just makes me sad.

Danica from A Sight To Be Seen said...

I'm so glad you found the blog of this sweet baby. I love how his story touched you and sharing with us how you felt about it. I can imagine I'll feel the same way and YOUR words have humbled me.

There are so many days when I'm moody because my hair isn't right or I was late to work because I couldn't find my keys. The tremendous strength and faith of this Mom should be reminders to all of us that there is so much more in life. God does everything for a reason, and I highly accept in my heart that this story was meant for just remind people that He loves us, that faith is strength and that that little baby is in Heaven and feels no pain. :')

{andthisiswhatshesaid} said...

OMG I just read so many post on her blog and am bawling too. What strength she had.... I only wish I possess have that strength.

michael. mindy. dane. said...

thanks so much for this. i needed to read that! i am such a brat. i say mean things way more than i should. i need to learn to shut my mouth. thank you for that scripture. love you, chloe :)

Rochelle said...

I can't believe you posted this...haha I went to the website and am bawling..I can't even imagine...that just makes my heart hurt...I think things like that haven't happened to me cause I would be pissed and you wouldn't want to read my wouldn't be very uplifting...thanks for sharing and it's so true...I am way careless about my words.. I need to be better! You are awesome!

Anonymous said...

That website was heartbreaking. She is an amazingly strong woman. I don't know if I could be that strong. Thanks for posting this lovely! Words can hurt and haunt forever, you can't take them back. I too need to think more about what I say.

Dave Lucy & Marley Gurney said...

I hadn't been on the Internet for awhile. When I read your post and saw that he had passed away I started to cry. I had been following her blog for a while now and hadn't read the news yet. I'm not exactly sure why I feel the need to tell you this. I don't know. It just makes me sad. I'm glad you wrote a post about her and her little angel. So many people read your blog and now know about her story. That makes me happy in a way I guess..

Sorry such a random comment. Love your blog :)

samnhal said...

I totally agree with you, i need to be better about not talking negatively about people also. It's just so easy to do it.