first off, sean posted tonight. you can click here to read it if you haven't already. now, can i just add that the reason i was holding the cookies was because i wasn't quite ready to eat one yet. also, they were pretty darn good. so don't judge.
okay. so the other day i mentioned that i had an embarrassing story. i have been debating telling it or not. earlier tonight, i saw sean typing it up. i made him stop. i figured i at least better tell it myself to save a little bit of dignity. which i am pretty sure will be gone right after i hit publish post. i am sure i am going to get a lot of "crap" for this one.
okay. so here it is. i can't believe i am going to tell this story.
well. thursday after work, i came home and used the restroom. first of all, sean came home while i was in there. unfortunately he did not have his key that day because he let someone borrow it so they could come pick up something at the house. well sean was knocking on the door while i was taking care of business in the bathroom. i sat there, yelling, "hold on! just a minute!" he kept knocking, so i had to go get the door, let him in, and run back to the bathroom.
now let me just say this. i am not that kind of person that is comfortable talking about bathroom stuff. now don't get me wrong, i pee like a million times a day. i have no problem telling people i have to go #1. as for #2? well, i like to live in denial about that little number. so for me to tell anyone this story, let alone talk about it on this blog is kind of a big deal. when we got married i told sean that girls do not poop. i think he believed me for this first month or so. but unfortunately when you marry someone, you can't really keep those things a secret anymore. when you are dating and stuff, it is so easy to pretend like you never poop. but when you get married and share one bathroom? it is not that easy.
anyway, back to the story. so i went back to business in the bathroom, and sean shouts "i am going to the gym! see ya later!"
so he left, and left me in peace. well. i guess this moment was bound to happen eventually. but after i took care of business, and flushed the toilet... it clogged. great. do we have a plunger? NO. that is like the one thing that we didn't get for our wedding, and probably the MOST important thing to register for. EVERYONE, if i can give you this advice, get a plunger before it is too late. it is not one of those things that you want to have to buy when you actually need it. and if you do get it and use it? you can just put it away like nothing ever happened. no one wants to know if the plunger was actually used. but at least having one would save you from actually having to buy one when you need it.
so i am sitting here with this dilemma. it really wasn't that bad. but what should i do? call sean and tell him to get a plunger? should i ask the neighbors? should i just run to the store? ugh. this is not how i wanted to spend my thursday afternoon.
i was worried if i ran to the store, that sean would come home while i was gone and discover "the incident" and judge me and divorce me or something like that. i guess i could leave him a note, not to go in the bathroom or something. sigh. decisions, decisions. then i remembered that he didn't have a key..haha.
so what did i do? i locked the door and ran to the store. if worse came to worse, sean would come home and be locked out of the house and at least i could come home with the plunger and not let him near the bathroom.
little did i know what a disaster it would be at the store. i went through EVERY aisle in that store looking for a damn plunger. i was desperate. the clock was ticking, and sean would be home any minute. finally, i grabbed some tampons that i was needing anyway, and some big rubber gloves. just in case. i started walking towards the self check out, because i always buy everything that i am slightly embarrassed to buy there, when suddenly i was stopped by this guy clerk that i ALWAYS see at that store. he said to me "hey! how are ya today? can i help you find something? you look lost."
ha. i sat there for a few seconds. not sure if i should just say it or not. i was pretty sure that there was not a plunger in the store. but it was obvious that i was desperate. "umm, actually yes. do you have any plungers?"
he looked at me for a second. it seemed that he was a little surprised. he finally said, "oh yes we do. let me show you where they are."
i knew he was silently judging me. like, "ewww, this girls goes to the bathroom."
he started to take me down an aisle that i had already looked down. i knew there weren't any left. my heart sank in disappointment as i thought about having to use only the rubber gloves to fix the toilet. he said to me, "oh dang, it looks like we are out. we have been selling out of those like crazy lately!"
i laughed and said, "ha, that is probably not a good thing. pretty crappy if you ask me. heh" get it?crappy? WTF? yeah. i tend to make stupid puns when i am nervous.
then he said to me, "actually, we have one other place where one might be."
he takes me down the next aisle, and finds a plunger that is about 12 inches long. it is a baby plunger. for a baby toilet. seriously. i don't know why anyone even made this plunger in the first place, because it was tiny. he handed it to me and said "now, i don't know if this will work. it is pretty small."
i looked at it, and said "well, to be honest? i am not sure how bad the damage is. my husband just called me while i was on my way home from work and said "you better get a plunger dear!" so yeah, i really don't know how bad it is. also, i got these rubber gloves just in case."
yes. i threw sean under the bus. isn't that why we get married though? so we can blame our spouse for things like this?
he looked at me, and was like "alright, good luck."
i ran to the self check out with my vertically challenged plunger and tried to walk out casually like i was in no hurry whatsoever. it's my husbands problem. not mine, right? ha.
so i sped home... and saw that sean was not home yet. PHEW! what a huge relief.
i ran inside to the bathroom, opened the lid.....
and the toilet had drained itself.
so needless to say, all that worry for nothing. i tested the plunger anyway, yeah. it went straight through the hole in the toilet. didn't "plunge" at all.
anyway, sean came home and i ended up telling him what happened anyway. he shouted out, "YOU THREW ME UNDER THE BUS!" but i then decided to share the story with my sister at work and the first thing she said was, "YOU THREW SEAN UNDER THE BUS!" and now i decided to tell the whole world so yeah. there ya go. i figure i embarrass sean enough on here that i would finally take the fall for once.
moral of the story?
*shit happens. yes. yes it does. then it goes away all on its own while you are freaking out at the store while buying a mini plunger and throwing your husband under the bus all at the same time.
2nd moral of the story? IF YOU DON'T ALREADY HAVE A PLUNGER GO OUT AND BUY A ONE NOW! TRUST ME!
*pardon my french in this post but i felt it was incredibly necessary.
now after i have enlightened you with my story, feel free to share your own so i can feel less awkward about even posting this. i was "hoping people could relate" or something. and to somehow overcome my fear. yeah, or you can go ahead and think "I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE WOULD TALK ABOUT THIS ON HER BLOG!" it's your choice..ha. just know that if i didn't post about it, sean was going to.
so yeah. now excuse me while i go die for even telling this story.