Friday, August 21, 2009

payback

so. picture this.


a husband and wife have a softball game. things were going pretty good and it was a pretty intense game. the team wasn't playing their best. but they were winning so that was good. the wife had just gotten to third base, when her charming husband steps up to bat. she was still trying to catch her breath, not really sure what was going on, when suddenly, her dear sweet husband, hits a line drive. great right? well not so much when the line drive goes straight for the runner on third. his wife.


okay okay, if you haven't guessed already this story is about us. and i wasn't so upset that he hit me. it was an accident. i was more concerned about his reaction to hitting me REALLY hard in the hip bone. it was like slow motion. when he hit that ball.. i knew i was going to get hit but i didn't know how to react or which way to go. as i was bracing for impact, i looked over at seans face, expecting to see sheer horror and regret. expecting to see tears streaming down his dirt stained face. expecting his heart to just fall out of his body for the pain he was going to put his wife through...




i see him laughing.

WHAT?

then BAM.


i fell to the ground.


people run around me.


sean comes over.




i am ready to forgive him for hitting me. knowing he can make up for it, i expect
he should be in tears and ready to sweep me up off the ground and tend to my wounds...




instead,


he is trying so hard not to laugh.


WTF Sean??




all night he couldn't stop laughing just thinking about it.
his excuse for not being scared that he could have killed me--


Sean: "I knew that it had hit something soft, not bone. So I knew you would be okay!"


Me: "Excuse me? Something soft? You calling me fat? You are dead."


Sean: "That's not what I meant!"


Me: "Well fine. I want to show you how it felt."




so yes. Sean let me punch him in the hip bone after he got out of the shower. he thought it was hilarious and laughed even harder when I screamed "Times that pain by a thousand!"




so in order to punish my insensitive, unconcerned, unintentionally abusive husband i am going to post all of these pictures of him and ask you guys if i should be concerned.


eat that sean.








at the zoo? this is a public place with children!? who do you think you are?









show-off






no guy should like dressing up as a girl sean. and i can see your bra.







thats a girl hat





stop wearing my clothes!





ummm...




you prancing fairy...




i asked you to watch my purse not wear it!
and for goodness sakes, learn how to drink like an adult!










you cross dressing woman wanna-be.




** i hope you guys know this was all in good fun. i told sean i would forgive him if he let me post a HILARIOUS video of him speaking spanish in the shower, but he wouldn't let me. so yeah.

7 comments:

Maddie said...

HAHAHA, that was so good! oh sean. sean sean sean.

kayla & tyler said...

hahah those pictures had me laughing so hard! this post was seriously hilarious!!!! I hope your hip bone is okay! my favorite thing was 'times that pain by like a thousand!' hahahhaha

Lee S. said...

LOL....I don't think I laugh as hard as I do when I read your blog....oh my goodness. Priceless.

Michele said...

That is sooo funny. I just called Troy and had him get on and see all this good "dirt" on your hubby. Let's just say your revenge will be sweet by the time Troy is done with him!

Shane and Bonnie Peavler said...

That is some great payback.

grant + brittany said...

i am still laughing out loud about "times that by a thousand!" hahahahahah that is so something i would do....ahahhahaha so sorry about your hip bone :( that would hurt so bad!

sharlyn emily said...

OHMYGOSH! i just laughed soooo hard. out loud. at work. and then to cover it, i had to cough.. like coughing and laughing make the same noise? no. i was a fool. but it was all worth it. this was absolutely hilarious.