Sunday, June 6, 2010

a rough weekend.

when we got married it was for better or for worse and in sickness and in health. and lately it has been for worse and in sickness and i am trying to tough it out. i can honestly say that i think this has been the hardest weekend we have had together since we have been married. not that we are fighting or arguing or anything like that. but i have learned that when someone is sick in our relationship, neither of us are happy.  not that neither of us have been sick before. we have had our moments, but this time it's different. sean has colitis, like i have mentioned before. and yesterday he had a really bad flare up. he has not had once since i have known him, and it has been so difficult to watch. i don't know how to make him feel better. i have never seen him this quiet and down. we have hardly had a conversation this weekend. i feel so disconnected to him and it breaks my heart. to make matters worse, mosey has been a pill. 3 nights ago he cried. ALL night. it was worse than the first night we brought him home. usually sean and i take turns taking him out. but he hasn't felt well and so i have been doing it. also sean usually is really good at wearing mosey out before bed time, and i just don't seem the have the same affect on him. and for the past couple weeks mosey has been able to hold it and not cry for a really long time..but not the last few nights.

this morning i took sean to the ER. he is in so much pain. he can't be away from the bathroom for more that 20 minutes. his colon is spasming and he gets super nauseated. they gave him some zofran for his nausea. i tried to make him laugh and tell him that is what they give pregnant women, and since he already had to have an ultrasound he should be able to relate better when i get pregnant someday.. but he didn't even crack a smile. he is supposed to go on a work trip tomorrow and it will require him driving to wyoming and spending the night there. he already has his hotel booked. i don't feel right about him going alone. he insists that he will be fine but he can hardly get out of bed. about a month ago sean went off of the medication he has been taking for 5 years because of his colitis. we think that if he starts taking it again, he will start to feel better. so right now we are just waiting it out. hoping that it will start to kick in.

i am trying to hold it together. i know that everything will be fine, and that things could be ten times worse. i just feel helpless. sean didn't want to go to the ER. he has been incredibly stubborn this weekend and won't try anything that i suggest. i was feeling super upset and stressed out. mosey was whining, and i have hardly slept in the past 4 days. anyway, i woke up this morning and sean was out in the front room on the couch. i made him go back and lie in bed, and i came and sat on the couch. and then i almost lost it and got down on my knees and prayed for what to do. i didn't know if we should just wait it out, or if i should take him in. i know that i can't do this on my own. i am not strong enough. i ended up praying 3 different times because i didn't feel like i was getting an answer. but then after the third time i just knew that if the situation were reversed, sean would have already taken me into the hospital. i had the feeling that i should have already known what the answer was and that we just needed to go. sean was worried about the co-pay for going to the ER but i said that you can't really put a price on your spouse's well being. i don't care if it costs $50 or $500, if it makes you feel even a little bit better it is worth it.

they gave us some prescriptions at the hospital to help ease his pain and hopefully get his spasms to stop. after leaving the hospital we stopped at walgreens. we tried to get his prescriptions filled but it was a 40 minute wait. so i brought sean home and then headed back out there. it was so crowded. now we are both home and sean and mosey are asleep. i have had 1 meal in the past 48 hours and i want to make something or shower but it will wake one of them up. mosey sleeps in the kitchen and if i shower i will have to go into our bedroom and sean is sound asleep. so right now i am just sitting. trying to be patient. i know god is testing me right now. i am trying to do the right thing. i don't mean for this to be a pity post. i just needed to get my feelings out. i know everything will be just fine. i know it will. i know my patience is being tested. and that is just fine. i can handle it. i know i can. sean has to stay on a liquid/soft food diet, and so his sweet sister amanda is bringing over some homemade chicken noodle soup tonight. i am so grateful for that. he will love it. if anyone has any yummy, relatively easy soup recipes that they would recommend that would really help me out a lot!

so yeah.. this weekend has been somewhat of a downer, but i am grateful that all of this happened on a weekend that we had nothing going on. i am grateful for sean. he is the best husband that i ever could have asked for. if i were the one struggling with what he is going through? it would be ten times worse because i would be a mess. he is so much tougher than me. i just want my best friend/ happy husband back. i miss him. :(

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oh and guess what? i did find my camera charger. plugged right into the wall where i left it. hmmm.. pretty sure someone took it and then just brought it back because i looked everywhere for it! i mean i have been looking for weeks. i swear i am losing my mind...

27 comments:

leigh ashley said...

oh chloe... i'm so sorry. for you and sean! if there's anything i can do, or if you just want to chat, let me know! i know i'm just an internet buddy, but i also know how much you need others when you go through things like this. please don't hesitate! i'll keep you both in my prayers!

Krysten @ After 'I Do' said...

Oh Chloe I'm so sorry you two are going through that. I know when I was in my car accident and in severe pain for 3 months the best thing Dustin could do for me was just hang out in the same room with me. It hurt to laugh, so being goofy was out, but just having him near was enough to make me feel a little better.

I hope Sean feels better soon and you two can get back to your goofy, wonderful ways. And I hope Moses starts behaving himself!

lydia. said...

chloe, i am so sorry to hear that you and sean are going through a difficult time.
i can't even imagine dealing with something like what sean is. he is so strong, and so are you to be taking care of him.
the two of you are truly exemplifying that part in the vows "for better or worse, sickness and health."
even though it is hard, i am confident that after this episode is over, the two of you will feel even closer.
you are such a wonderful couple!

jackiek said...

oh chloe i'm so so sorry you're having such a rough weekend. i hope sean starts to feel a lot better soon. it's the worst when someone you love is in pain and you can't make it better. you sound a lot like me and i'm the kind of person who always wants to make people feel better.
but just know that even though sean is miserable right now, he appreciates you being there for him so much.

praying for both of you (and mosey!) and sending lots of love your way! xoxo

Alexa Mae said...

oh chloe, that is horrible. poor sean. i can't even imagine. and i know how hard it is on you, you have to be the one holding everything and everyone together. get some time to yourself, take a bath, take a drive and try to relax yourself. whenever I am sick or one of us with the stomach flu we make ramen noodle soup but without the ramen. haha it is so good and settles our stomachs right down. (ya, its just water with the packet but works everytime). love ya girl! hang in there.

kayla and tyler said...

Oh Chloe! I'm so sorry!! I know how that is. When Tyler is sick he is super stubborn, nothing i say, do, or try helps. And he likes to be left alone and I hate that. I feel like nothing I do is working, And its frustrating and I end up crying. I'm so sorry about Sean!! I really hope he gets feeling better quick! You both are in my prayers!! Eat some chocolate and lay down and listen to some music ,that always makes me calm down! Let me know if you need anything!

Rasha said...

Oh Chloe! I am so sorry Sean is so sick, I wish there was some way to help you guys! Just keep praying and being there for him as hard as it is! Also, I know how it feels when they are down and you can't do nothing to help :(

Love you lady.. SO much prayers!

crissy said...

You're breaking my heart. It's never easy when someone you care deeply for is sick, especially when it's a more serious illness than, say, a cold. (Because, seriously, those aren't so bad.) I wish we lived the next county over I would totally bring you some food, or something. I wish there were something I could do for you. I suppose praying will have to suffice :)
I hope Sean gets feeling better soon.

And hooray for finding your camera charger. I hate when I find stuff in one of those obvious places, and yet it happens all the time...

Krystal said...

keep your head up lady. i can't think of a soup off the top of my head but i will look tomorrow morning and let you know if i find one!

Annie said...

Oh man Chloe, I am so sorry! I hope Sean feels better and you! :)

Samantha said...

get well soon! sending good thoughts and prayers your way.

utmomof 5 said...

That is NOT a good way to spend the weekend! Nathan and I both are hoping Sean gets feeling better soon. I can tell you, the trying times are the things that bring you closer to your husband. get some sleep!!!

Tregan said...

i'm sorry to hear about sean, that is terrible. i hope he gets feeling better soon!

if you like tomato soup, there is a really good already made tomato soup at costco. actually, any of the ones already made at costco are good. you just stick them in the microwave for 1-2 minutes and its done! fast and easy.

hopefully that helps you out a little bit! good luck. my blessings are with you and sean!

*juli* said...

i just love you and want you to know you are both in my prayers! YOU are one of the people who got me through the worst 3 months of my life. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help you!
Love,
D.Q.

Alycia (Crowley Party) said...

I feel you! I always "loose" things right where I left them... if that makes any sense, but for some reason I think you understand what I just meant, haha. Hope you all feel better!

Annie Kennedy said...

Chloe I am so sorry this is happening :( Poor Sean. I will definitely pray for you guys.

If I find a good recipe I will send it your way.

And I COMPLETELY understand about the camera charger! There must be one in every family, who waits until the house is turned upside down before they put back the thing they stole to make you go crazy!

Have a good week love!

Dave Lucy & Marley Gurney said...

I totally understand. My husband gets these terrible stomach pains. Kinda like cramps times a 1000. Its weird how men just want to be left alone and not say a word. You did the right thing taking him in. And now your doing the right thing letting him get some rest :) It'll get better from now I promise.

Btw LOVE your blog. Its so honest and hilarious.

You rock!

Ashley said...

Awww I'm sorry to hear about this! My thoughts are with you both and I hope he starts to feel better real soon! It's tough to see the person you love go through pain like this.

He's lucky to have you there by his side though! :)

Michael and Mindy said...

i'm so sorry! i wanted to cry reading this! i'm sorry sean is sick. i'm sorry mosey is being a pain. i'm sorry you're having a hard time! i wish i knew what i could do! i would leave a soup recipe, but none of mine are super easy. ps..i just spelled super like souper, so i guess you know what i'm thinking about. i wish i could help. is there anything i can do?? i'm only a few minutes away. seriously.. if you need anything, please let me know! love you!

Elizabeth Marie said...

Ohhh honey! I miss you and I'm praying for you both!! You are SO strong and you can handle this. Sending you all my love.

Mary Cee said...

Keep being strong, you CAN do it! I'll keep both of you in my prayers!

Michelle said...

I hope he has started to feel better! Sounds terrible! I hate when the people you love feel sick... I can only imagine how it would be to watch your children suffer...

Catita said...

your doggie is adorable!
Catita
http://catindreamland.blogspot.com/

samnhal said...

You're amazing!! I'm glad I read the post above first to know that he is starting to feel better. I'm such a whiner when I'm sick, boys are so much better when they're seriously sick like that. Hopefully he continues to heal and get better!

Emily said...

being sick or having your spouse sick is the worst. I'm so sorry. Glad to hear he's feeling/doing a little better!

♥ Katinka said...

I'm a little late with my comment but I hope Sean is feeling better. You guys are amazing. I'll keep both of you in my prayers......

Michele said...

I am so sorry about Sean's flare up. Darn it you thought he might be past this! I hope he is feeling better. I hope he did OK with his business trip. You are a strong woman and a good wife!