Thursday, June 24, 2010

mosey ate his bed.

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warning, this post will probably be really long, random, confusing, and a lot of ranting. so pretty much like most of my posts but whatever i don't care. anyway, i took mosey to the vet yesterday. by myself. it was terrible. i felt like a single mother. okay i don't exactly know what that feels like, but i imagine that it somewhat gave me a little idea of what that would be like. and i mean it wouldn't have been that bad, but he was so scared to get his shots this time. i don't know why. he jumped into my arms when they brought the shots out. his back legs on the table and his upper body hanging over my shoulder. then after he got his shots he wouldn't let me put him down. so i held him in my arms like a baby. i can't lie, it made me feel pretty special. but he is getting pretty big now. 27.6 lbs to be exact. so it's not exactly easy carrying him around.

after he got his shots we stayed at petsmart to get some supplies. mosey has eaten his bed. no i am serious, he ate his bed. there are a few remnants left of it. so we decided we should probably get him a new one. one that is indestructible. so i found this bed that is called a KONG bed. and it looked awesome. it actually looked more comfortable than my own bed. and the reason that i loved this bed the mostest was that it said "CHEW PROOF" . awesome right? well i grabbed the bed, and a bunch of other treats for mosey and made my way to the checkout. i quickly realized that i should have grabbed a cart. but it was too late. i had moseys bed and leash in one arm, and a 4 different types of treats and a frisbee in the other. i don't know how i did it. but then mosey decided he wanted to get tangled up in his leash. and by tangled up i mean he had it wrapped around one leg three times. not even sure how that is possible.

so i stood in line with 3 people in front of me.  and if i bent down to help mosey get untangled, i would drop everything. the lady in front of me had a baby and some animals, and she managed to be more composed than i was. i looked at her and said, " i should have gotten a cart." she kindly took off and grabbed me one. what a nice lady eh? anyway, i was finally at the register and mosey was going crazy. the lady was trying to ring me up and mosey was trying to chase other dogs. the lady at the register said i could hook mosey up to this leash thing they have while i paid her. i tried to hook him up. i hooked him up part way, and he started knocking down everything around the register. i didn't know what to do. i kept apologizing. after i paid the lady for the very expensive indestructible bed and yummy treats for my dog with my birthday money, she said to me, "i don't know if you have heard about our puppy obedience classes, but here are some schedules!" i was all, "i promise he is not always like this!" and then she felt bad for saying that and i felt bad and we were like it's all good and got over it and i attempted to make my way outside to my car.

phew. so we get home. and i put mosey's awesome new luxurious indestructible bed in his kennel. then i put him in there. and leave some of his toys outside of it by his water, and then shut the little fence thing we have surrounding his kennel. this way he can still get some water and has a little bit more room to play. then i went to lay down. because lets face it. that was exhausting. and being crampy and hormonal at the same time didn't help. so i laid in bed for a while watching " i didn't know i was pregnant". then i decided i should go see how mosey is handling his new bed.

i walked out into the kitchen. and there is brown cotton filling everywhere. his new bed is out of his kennel. he dragged all of his toys back into his kennel, including a folded towel and had them all lined up perfectly. mosey had chewed threw the indestructible chew proof bed. and i sat down around his kennel and cried. okay i didn't really but i was pissed. he managed to open the zipper on the bed and ripped the insides out. so technically i guess the outside of the bed still might be chew proof, but they didn't warn me about that damn zipper! apparently dogs can open them. and the filling of the bed is not chew proof. so i shut him in his cage and immediately raided the cupboards for any chocolate. i ended up making a smore in the microwave, eating a milky way and some m&m's, more than a few fudge oreo rings.. (OMG have you tried them? they are so good!) , and 2 pieces of toast with jam on them. then i remembered that lots of my pants aren't fitting anymore and i probably shouldn't have done that. i am not saying i am fat so don't feel like you need to comment and tell me that i am not. i am just saying that the pants that used to fit me aren't fitting so well anymore and i need to do something about it. and eating all that probably wasn't going to help the situation.

anyway, mosey stared at me eating. and i stared back at him. and he looked deep into my soul, as if he knew that i was going to regret what i did. and i looked deep into his soul as if he was going to regret eating his new bed. then sean came home and found me in a sugar induced coma in bed. i tried to tell him the story about the bed and how mosey behaves so much better when sean is around and mosey doesn't like me as much and so sean went out there and sprayed the corners of mosey's bed with this bitter apple stuff. but mosey was all "really? you think that is gonna scare me away? i like bitter apples." so mosey got drunk off this bitter apple spray and apparently continued to chew through his bed in the night in a drunk stupor. and when we woke up, sean took it away from him. mosey is on probation until further notice. he is also getting neutered in 2 weeks. paybacks a .........

in case this post gave off the wrong kind of vibe about my dog... i still love him very much... i just need to teach him how to love me more than sean... just kidding. sorta.

18 comments:

anna said...

"paybacks a b----"
ahhahaha. that's hilarious!

Geez Louise♥ said...

Oh dang. You poor thing! I would have seriously cried and ate like 5 times more chocolate...and still cried.

Love you ladycakes.

AND.....your clutch should be there sooooooon :)

Krysten @ After 'I Do' said...

Oh puppies can be so naughty sometimes! The old dog that my family had had separation anxiety and would DESTROY things when left alone. She tore up carpet, ate stuffed animals, etc. My dad ended up having to create a room for her in the part of the basement that wasn't finished where she couldn't destroy anything.

So... be happy he's not THAT bad, lol.

Chloé: said...

Your blogs are hilarious. They're my fave :)

Shane and Bonnie Peavler said...

My dogs like Shane better than me. Too bad they get to spend their entire day with me while he's working. It gets annoying when I complain about how naughty they are and then they're perfect angels for him.... I feel your pain. Believe me....

knz said...

This post is hilarious! Ellie used to drag her bed out of her cage and carry it around the house and tear the inside out too. Now we've come up with a way to chain it to the kennel (sounds weird but it's awesome) so it doesn't happen anymore.
You should definitely put him in obedience school not because this post makes him sound bad but because it really helps a ton. I put Ellie in too late because I figured she didn't need it because she already knew how to do all kinds of tricks and was reasonably well behaved but I wish i would have done it when she was younger. Dogs act a lot different in a situation other than being at home plus it would help socialize him and he might not try to chase the dogs when you're standing in line...
You should ask Lindsay to tell you about her first day of obedience school with Cash.. it's SOOO funny. Just like Marley and Me.
OK... this is long, sorry.

Alyssa said...

Aww he is just too damn cute to get cross at... even if he does ever manage to get through the chew proof bed!
Maybe the bitter apple spray made the bed actually taste a little nice for him? im going to assume bed doesnt taste nice to start with :)
x

Krystal said...

you crack me up - always. mosie is a smart pup! - i mean not because he loves sean more but he got the zipper open? maybe beds are his favorite thing to eat? very weird. my dog doesn't sleep on his bed ever - he sleeps on our bed or the floor. and i thought it was so pretty for him!

t. said...

aw. i promise i only giggled a little bit. puppies can be exasperating. don't feel bad that the lady at the store mentioned obedience training. in my opinion, all dogs benefit from it. i took a class with my dog (mandatory part of the contract with his breeder) and at the time, i felt it was a total waste of time. but he actually learned a lot. people are always remarking that he is so well-behaved.

labs are notorious for having a ton of energy. do you have a dog park where you can let him run around like crazy and get out some of that energy so that he doesn't chew so much on inappropriate things? oh, and look for bully sticks and deer antlers. they are great for dogs who love to chew.

best of luck. :)

Chloë said...

puppies can be crazy. i grew up with two beagles, and even though they're almost six, they still chew through their toys and beds and rip open the garbage like no one's business. but i still love them, too. :)

and as everyone says, having a puppy makes for great mommy training, so having a baby will eventually be piece of cake for you ;)

Becca said...

Oh my gosh, Chloe. I don't know whether to laugh or cry! It sounds like such an upsetting and overwhelming situation that I feel bad for you, but then you're an awesome storyteller so I'm just sitting at my computer laughing out loud at this predicament.
I hope things get better with your crazy doggy, though.
:)

kayla and tyler said...

haha oh dear!! this post was so funny, but I'm sure in all the moments it was so frustrating! i would have been so bugged right after I bought him a new bed, it's all chewed up!!! bah! ridiculous. sorry your puppy had a bad day, hopefully he's a good boy the rest of the week :)

Anna said...

hey i'm a friend of maddies. actually, my husband and jeremy are cousins. and i read your blog every now and then. so there is the connection... we have a lab, too. reggie is his name. he'll be 2 in july! we LOVE LOVE LOVE him. but he's gone through about 4 beds now. after he chewed up the last one, we just didn't get him a new one for a few months. the one he has now he's been sleeping on for like 6 months now and he's never once mouthed it ot even pulled it out of his kennel! it sounds mean, but i really think that labs are smart enough to realize the lesson we were trying to teach reggie. maybe it would work for you? good luck!

sharlyn emily said...

hahaha.
one) i think its awesome when you rant.
two) mosey loves you! at least he's both of your and not just yours and still loves your boyfriend more but tries to pretend she doesn't (my situation. lol.)
three) the "advice for the psycho" thing when you leave a comment makes me laugh every time.

Alexa Mae said...

oh man! puppy woes. i think he loves you more but takes sean more seriously...hence, the role of a mother. i love your stare down with him!

Rasha said...

haha wow, that doggy... haha become stern chloe!

my name is lauren. said...

oh mosey....

i think i would've eaten myself into a sugar induced coma too. actually...i do that pretty often anyway. today i ate an entire bad of sour gummi worms. ugh!

it'll get better....maybe getting neutered will make him stop chewing on things. let's hope!

oh...and in response to your comment...i think we're both in the same boat about responding to comments and blog reading. i've been a super slacker too. but don't worry....i still love you and i know you still love me even when i'm a sucky commenter...doesn't mean we're not friends :).

love you girl and i hope you had a good weekend!

samnhal said...

haha, he'll get his in 2 weeks. Sucka! You should contact the company that said it was chew proof and maybe they'll give you a discount or something on the super expensiveness. That would be awesome. Man, you're dog totally reminds me of marley. Maybe when he's older you can write a book about it.