Wednesday, September 16, 2009
the other night i was washing a glass by hand because we don't have a dishwasher.and because Sean wasn't there to do it. it broke and cut me. so for safety purposes, i have decided to refrain from washing the dishes. it's far too dangerous. and it created problems because i didn't want to bleed on the frozen pizza i was slaving over and it was just too complicating.
i am too impulsive to cook. when i am hungry, i want to eat NOW. when i want my hair cut, i have to get it cut right away. i can't plan for things. i don't know how to. it stresses me out. i don't know why. if i am cooking, i get hungry and am snacking on something while i am cooking. then it gets all hot in the kitchen and i hate being hot and usually i am bleeding and already eating something so it just doesn't always seem like the most idealistic thing for me to be doing with my time.
i believe in eating straight out of the box, and using paper cups and plates. when i am doing dishes, they are usually not my own. it's usually Sean's chocolate milk glasses and bowls of ice cream. when they are my dishes, its usually my sticky rice krispie dishes and if you have ever made rice krispie treats before, you know that you have to at least let those things soak for a few days. i eat straight out of the carton to save water and dish soap. i would consider myself an enviromentalist/green for sure.
my mother-in-law offered to come clean my house or make us food if we ever needed it. seriously, she is the sweetest thing ever, i might just have to take her up on that because it gets really hard to cook and clean when you are trying to watch 47 brand new shows on TV without TIVO. you can only get so much done in between commercials. life is rough.
Sean and i were on our way home from work the other day and i just started crying for no reason. i don't know why. i couldn't explain it. we were at the gas station for crying out loud. how do you get emotional at a gas station? he was filling up, and he went inside, he didn't even know i was crying but he brought me a diet dr.pepper. he is so good to me.
after that we went to macey's to switch all my prescriptions there because no offense to albertons but they take FOREVER and i usually leave in tears, so it's probably not the best idea for my mental well being and my anxiety. it kind of defeats the purpose of me waiting in line for my anxiety pills and birth control when i feel like cutting off my own arm and throwing it at the person who is so unwillingly helping me.
Sean took care of switching everything over. he even let me buy a whole new bag of frooties... and chocolate covered pretzels. and he didn't even judge me. at least not to my face. and i may have possibly eaten the whole 5 serving bag of chocolate covered pretzels already. but maybe i didn't? so what if i did? salty and sweet soothes my soul.
i fell asleep for a little bit and woke up in a blanket of frootie wrappers. that was my moment of bliss. then Sean brought me my prescription and even watched a little bit of the notebook with me later that night after he finished his HOURS of homework. i hate his homework. it's so stressful. i bet it stresses him out too.
i have bad news. i am going to miss The Office premiere this week. i almost cried when i found out that we had a softball tournament game at 8:15. and no TIVO.
a while back when we first got married, we were offered a nice gift of our choice by some very kind people. i wanted DVR/TIVO. sean wanted a BBQ. guess who won? sometimes i can be so selfless it amazes me. i told you i sacrificed a lot when we got married. Sean became addicted to BBQing and i even had to put him on BBQ probation. he wanted to cook anything and everything on that thing. i like BBQ's. don't get me wrong. but we were having one almost 5 nights a week. i considered putting him in therapy. i'm not sure what it is that guys love about BBQ'ing, but i wish that i wouldn't have put him on probation. he didn't deserve that. i really am the meanest wife ever..
i need to be more like my mom and mother-in-law. they are incredible people. thanks vicki, for raising the most incredible son. it takes a lot of patience to put up with this girl... and thank you mom, it must have taken a lot of patience to raise this girl. you are both such strong, kind, giving, selfless people. i love you both, and hope to be like the both of you someday!