careless words.

last night i stayed up reading this blog. it had me in tears. i mean full blown bawling tears. i am surprised i didn't wake sean up. this poor little boy was born with a rare genetic disorder called EB. any type of friction on his skin would cause blisters that eventually turned to sores that wouldn't heal. as i read through this blog and read the words of his mother, i was truly touched. i can't even how hard it must have been for her. for him. to endure such awful pain. to the point that a diaper change was a monumental task and would require anxiety medication and pain medicine for this poor little boy. he passed away a few days ago. i didn't even know this little boy but it really got to me.

on top of watching her son suffer, reading some of the terrible comments that people would leave her broke my heart. i can't believe how cruel some people are. some people accused her of doing this for publicity. some people would say "how could you let your child suffer like that?" like it was her fault or something? like she had a choice in whether he lives or dies? i loved her responses back to people in this post. this woman is amazing. she went through all of this and a divorce while her son was suffering. she watched her son lose his eyesight. she never got to hear him speak. he required 24 hour care. nights when she got 15 minutes of sleep were considered a good night.

obviously i can't fully grasp this situation since we don't have children yet. but it still makes me so sad. i can't believe how strong this woman is. i don't know if i could have kept my faith  through a situation like this. but i hope that she knows how much her story and her son have affected me. i know i only spent about an hour reading the blog.. but i have learned a lot already for her little son. i don't often get religious on here, but she left this scripture in the post where she addressed some mean comments.. and i have been thinking about it all day. i think it is one of my new favorite scriptures.

"I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”

—Matthew 12: 36-37

it really makes me want to be more careful about the things that i say. i am really trying to work on this. i have a lot of room for improvement in several areas in my life. this being one of them. i was talking about this with sean on monday, but i think so often we get caught up in petty things and feel like it's okay to say mean things about someone if the person will never hear it. i have seen so many mean comments about people online (some who are very close to me) and in news articles and forums where people rip on who the article or forum is about. maybe they think that that person will never read it. but what if a family member reads it? what if they read it? why is it okay to sit behind our computer screens and say mean things? why do people justify in their minds that that is okay behavior? do they think that since they are not saying it to the persons face that it's okay?

anyway, the pictures on this blog are hard to look at. he is in so much pain. but really this little boy is so amazing. and so beautiful. and so is his mother. she is amazing. if you have some time i encourage you to go over there and check it out. it definitely humbled me and made me feel so ashamed for the silly things i complain about. it also made me want to be more careful about what i say. i need to stop being so careless with my words. it also made me see that even though this disease is not fair.. and pain and sickness and tragedy are not fair... it brings out the love in people. it brings people together. it changes people and makes people better. it allows people to show acts of service that they might not otherwise get the chance to do. it also made me so grateful for all of the things i have and take for granted more than i should. anyway... i just felt like i needed to post about this. to help me remember that i will be held accountable for my actions someday. and to try to better. thanks for reading!